Sorry I'm late, I "had a flat"
 

Her: "you sure have been getting a lot of those lately..."
Fess up, what's your excuse?

https://cimg3.ibsrv.net/gimg/bikefor...b920174cdf.jpg

As long as that's not an ex's place, where you stopped for a nice dark beer.
My three favorites: 1. my buddy had a mechanical. 2. I rode slower today. 3. Why are you mad at me? I just got here!

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"Now that I'm gettin' up there me makeup takes longer than it used to."



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After 25 years, she'd probably just laugh at me.

Facing the other way:
https://cimg8.ibsrv.net/gimg/bikefor...100f313c4a.jpg

Being late isn’t an issue for my wife. She just calls me out when she sees the charge for the brewery or coffee shop because she missed out.

Me: "Riding out towards (fill in the blank), should be home in 3 hours.
She: "See you in 5"

She knows the conversion factor. I do my best to beat her prediction.

Don't bother with them, why make up excuses when the wife knows me far too well. Went to the LBS one day to buy a stem for my kid's bike, while I'm picking it out they get a call, its my wife to inform me I forgot my phone which is also my wallet, and did I need a CC number to pay for the stem. I had the shop guy tell her no, its only 5.00 and I've got enough, he seemed confused when she hung up laughing at that. Had to explain that she already knew there was no way the stem was 5.00 and she wasn't buying the BS. Ended up paying 50 as she expected. Same goes with rides, I just tell her I'm going and it'll be a while, we have a shared calendar, so she knows I'll be back when I need to be.

I had a job candidate not show up for their interview last week, due to a flat tire. I'm thinking, hmmm, seems iffy. HR rescheduled, but I'm betting on another no show.

If I'm on my way to an interview and have a flat, I'm calling an uber, a friend, a taxi. I'll frickin get there. OTOH, if i don't really want to go, I'll find a reason but to.

I don't know if a pub was involved, but a flat tire?

My excuse is usually "I was about to head home but [MENTION=381793]gugie[/MENTION] was in the middle of a story." It covers a delay of nearly any length.

You weren't lying, rather she misunderstood. Most Stouts tend to be rather flat, she should have inferred the quote marks.

I send my wife pictures of the beers I drink along the way. As long as I'm home around the time we agreed on, everything's cool.

If nothing else, I'd immediately contact the person I was supposed to meet to let them know and ask whether they wanted to reschedule!

I had a warm showers guest who rode with me to work at my meals on wheels job. It was the one day I had a flat going to work. After changing tubes I rode as hard as I could to make it to work on time. My warm showers guest was in the middle of a cross country tour. He didn't really notice my riding "fast".

Just to be clear, my post was very tongue-in-cheek. As most wives do, mine knows everything. Her response was drowning in sarcasm.
The upside is that she now wants another bike just so we can cruise the neighborhood and accidentally end up at a bar.

Mission accomplished!!!

Yep Honey... I left the tube over on the kitchen sink so ya cant patch it...

Well, this morning, I did wake to one of my tires being flat. Super slow leak, and so I added some Stan's hoping I can avoid doing the sew-up repair routine. The tire's just about done for this world anyhow. Happily, I alternate Mooneys, and the flat guy wasn't on today's roster.

How many have you hosted? How does it work? Is it like an Airbnb?

Only hosted one, it's more like couch surfing.

Beer is not my weakness, but when I return from a three hour ride and I'm not ravenous she knows I stopped for a coffee and a pastry.
Brent

I actually do get flats occasionally on my rides but lateness , for me, happens when I decide to detour up one of our canyons on my way to the coast. This turns my 35 mile ride to a 45 mile ride . ‘“Yep , I’m late and the canyon was beautiful.”

https://cimg1.ibsrv.net/gimg/bikefor...4a04848d4.jpeg
On the way up Aliso Canyon

This was during a weekend ride and I didn't have to be anywhere else, but still a good diversion.

https://i.postimg.cc/X7ntrfh3/IMG-6114.jpg