I can understand that old habit can be difficult to change.
I pedaled across the NA Continent as a teenager on a Huffy 10-speed with low cadence.
I was advised to raise my cadence all through the ride, but as a teen I didn't think it was that important.
Luckily, I completed the ride with minimal lifetime effects.
With many years of racing in my college years, it took me well over 600-700 miles of riding along with many hours on the rollers to get used to higher cadence riding and using lower gears.
Eventually, I experienced better cycling results, less knee pain, less fatigue after I get off the bike, better cardio and overall fitness with higher cadence of pedaling.
And all that in addition to less chain/cassette wear on the drivetrain.
If you're "thrashing around at higher cadence", it could be a saddle height/position issue that prevent you from pedaling smoothly at higher cadence.
Maybe a good idea to ride on a stationary trainer to find your ideal saddle height and to practice pedaling at higher cadence smoothly.
Yes, it may seem awkward & weird at first, but as I said, it took my 600-700 miles to get used to higher cadence, YMMV.