So, this bike has been listed for sale for 1 month now. I've had only 2 inquiries, both from cities over an hour away from me, but no one has come to look at it. Seems I may be stuck with it.
It does ride nice on the short around town trips I've taken. I've never had a bike with disk brakes, and these are shockingly precise and effective. The geometry is kind of weird, I guess like most modern MTBs. Slack headtube angle, sloping top tube, high bars. The ride is cushy for sure.
I still think something is weird with the sizing. It "feels bigger" than my wife's size medium Raleigh Hybrid, and bigger than my 51cm road bike; but it claims to be a womens size small (15") frame. It is a Dick's Sporting Goods exclusive and only comes in 2 sizes 15" and 17". With the seatpost to the max insert line and the bars adjusted just a touch forward, it fits me fine at 5'8".
I guess it's my grocery-getter now.