Speaking from my own experience and location, the motorists who come too close are not doing so accidentally. They are crowding me because they believe I shouldn't be on "their" road (and I always ride as far to the right as possible). A pool noodle would simply be, from their perspective, further provocation, and would serve as a target.
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Don't complain about the weather and cower in fear. It's all good weather. Just different.