i feel for your loss, life is too short!
much luck on your Journey, hope you discover clues in your quest!
i am in simular shoes, but humanly unique! i am planning my 2nd x-USA, this time west to east, am exploring bikecentennial-Adv/Cycling's souther tier, Fall 2010, post masters degree. first x-USA was in 1982 (age 22, e-w).
i have toured with groups, but now mostly self-contained. i encourage you to explore options of group inclusion for first trip. there are lots of details and techniques about touring to learn and the
group will (should) assist!
kevlar works!
welcome to BF! check out crazyguyonabike.org (or .com) for more ideas and have a great tour!!
pm for more specifics.
tomg