I can echo the comments of the OP almost verbatim.
I've been off the bike for pretty much 20 years. Before that, I really didn't have a whole lot of fear of being hit. In the mid to late 1980s, I'd ride my bike all over the place. I'd draft school busses and semi trucks following inches behind them at 50-60mph, spun out in a 53x13 riding the pocket of air behind it on 210/Indian Head Hwy from Accokeek to Indian Head, and Rt301 from Waldorf to LaPlata. I'd ride 24 miles in pitch black at 10pm on 2-lane roads with nothing but a reflective construction vest (again, think 1980's mesh vest with 2 reflective vertical stripes on it) pretty much ever Friday or Saturday night to come home from my girlfriend's house in Waldorf while I lived up against the Potomac.
Now I have a son who is not far off from the age I was when I started riding, and there's NO WAY IN HELL I'd let him go ride the roads himself for hours on end. And I have absolutely no idea how my mom let me do all those rides and stayed sane. I'd ride from Indian Head up to Southeast DC onto South Capital Street, around the Capital to North Capital street, then Georgia Ave and over to Bonifant Street to the Bike Shop I raced with. And then I'd ride home again. And THAT was as a 16 year old. To think back on that now that I'm a father... NUTS.
When I first ventured back out onto the road this summer, I was terrified of every car that approached me from behind. I'm riding WAY on the shoulder whereas before I'd pretty much ride the white line or within 6" of it to avoid the glass and debris and rough shoulder. Now I feel like I'm doing a mtb ride on road tires as I jackhammer my way down the road as far from the white line as I can safely get. And cornering? Forgetaboutit. I'm so chicken now. I never really was a good crit rider, but I was pretty good on road courses and twisty decents. NOW? Pffft. Scared to slide out in sand. Pain hurts. My days of sticking to the sheets are behind me and I hope they stay that way.
I haven't splurged on new led lights-- I still just have the old stuff that was common back in the 1990s-- but every time I drive by a cyclist who has some nice, super-bright ones I feel like pulling over to ask the what brand they are so I can go buy myself some similar ones!