Lol, reminds me of a story. (People here going
right now)
Back in the 70's, my girlfriend and I were visiting relatives out on the cape. I had a 340 Duster, and a lead foot. I was a young and stupid, and thought that I was Mario Andretti. It was dark and foggy, and I was flying down the road, going way too fast. My common sense meter was pegged at zero. We saw some white shapeless object in the road ahead, and I thought it was just a newspaper, so kept my foot on the gas. It was a seagull - a living seagull (probably named Jonathan) - just sitting there in the middle of the road, probably enjoying what little warmth the pavement still radiated from the day. Or, he may have been disorientated, I don't know. but by the time I recognized what it was, I was already on top of it. The ol' Duster just exploded him into a cloud of white and grey feathers.
My girlfriend cried, and I had to deal with that all the way back to Bar Harbor. She said they were going to get me for that, "they" being the gulls. I laughed and asked her if they had a union or something. That really soured her mood. She was going to college to become a veterinary assistant, so obviously her love of animals was on a much higher level than mine. The ride home was a long one that night.
We finally got into town and I dropped her off at her home and drove on back to mine. I came by the next day to take her out for an ice cream, and by then her mood lightened somewhat. The day was nice, and we rolled down the coast a bit with the windows down and Peter Frampton on the 8-track. Then - before I could react at all, a flock - no - a whole SQUADRON of seagulls swooped in from the channel, and deposited a copious amount of poop on my car! There were splatters all over the hood, windshield and top. We sure laughed hard at that! My girlfriend was in tears laughing so hard, and kept using words like retribution, vindication, and revenge!
True story.