I am not sure if the cat and the body builder are part of the 'bike crap' but here you go.
http://philadelphia.craigslist.org/bik/1790231403.html
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“One morning you wake up, the girl is gone, the bikes are gone, all that's left behind is a pair of old tires and a tube of tubular glue, all squeezed out"
Sugar "Kane" Kowalczyk