A couple idea's i havn't done yet...
-Cut down a massaging car seat to a massaging bike seat.
-Replace your bike seat with a motorcycle seat so you can have the young girl on the back with a lime green thong and butt hanging off the edge...
-Make a custom carbon six pack water bottle holder that sits on the handlebars and holds heineken.
- or a single water bottle holder that holds a Fosters oil can...
-go the opposite way and have a little bonzi tree growing from the bottle holder and a flat of rosemary in the rack bag...coat the frame in chia pet paste and spray water it for a month...
- for utilitarians or contractors, make a saddlebag or panniers out of orange home depot 5 gallon buckets with hinged locking lids, wear a painters cap and those cool blue glazed safety glasses. Use pipe insulator for grip tape, and mag lights as headlights... Lock it with heavy chain and a realators box... And always have a roll of duct tape...
- wear a little train engineer's hat, make a little rack bag in the shape of a caboose, hook a delta horn to a gag shop train whistle and get a front basket in black mesh and bend/ weld it into the shape of a cow plow...
And if none of those work... two things... Goldfish and neon...