burnthesheep

I'm of faith, but this is the kind of stuff where "blessings" and "prayers" don't really help anyone. Sitting and listening just because someone wants to talk, going out of your way to ask someone about something because you see something on their face, acting in a positive way on that nagging thought about someone you've got.........that's what we need. Or systematic intervention.

I appreciate all the shares.

I don't have anything really momentous at all.

I got married the first time way too young while about to graduate college. We were a young couple who thought being friends and knowing how genitals fit together meant that we loved each other. It was not a positive relationship. I was a project, supposedly, down to the way I dressed. Almost like a doll or a puppy. It pretty much ended when I had to tell her that NO, we weren't ready for kids yet because I thought we had a lot of maturing to do (financially, socially, etc...). She started cheating with someone at her workplace. Figured that out by showing up for lunch one day to pick her up, she had forgotten and was headed to the other person's car. Instead of going with me, accosted me for showing up then went with them. I lived alone after college and just worked and drank for about 4 years after that and would drive 1hr 1/2 on the weekends to the other city to see friends and drink and sleep on couches. I'd sit in the $5 plastic lawn chair in the back yard and cry while drinking a 32oz Tecate and watching the sun set over the farm next to the neighborhood, listening to the bull over there raise a racket and grilling a $5 discount bin sirloin from Food Lion.

I can't say I use any of the darkness in the pursuit of sport. No amount of rehashing that crap is going to make me any stronger. It only stands the chance to bring me down. I can either tolerate physical sports pain, or I can't. I thoroughly believe I should be able to do the same with or without using "demons". If I want to go fast, it hurts, and that's all there is to it.