250 miles a month doesn't sound like you are overdo8ng it. Obviously better time management can help.
I ride about that, but we also have a 7 year old daughter, which cuts into lot of riding time.
Maybe your wife wants you be inactive and obese? What does she do for sport or fun?
Maybe the online bike time or upgraditis can be a problem, but you didn't sound excessive in that. I'm online when I do domething else, like watching movies or so. So it doesn't really steal time.
Unless you neglected to mention something important, it sounds like you do not do much wrong.