Kapusta

The OP is long, rambling and hard to follow, so I can’t answer questions 1 and 2.

But to answer #3...

I currently own. FS MTB and a rigid Fat Bike. The fat bike is no substitute for the FS mtb. Not even close.

I bought the fat bike after moving to Upstate NY where the winters serve up 5 months of trails in various stages and combinations of muddy, leaf-choked, snowy, slushy, and icy. This is where the fat tires shine.

But outside of that, I find a standard tired bike outperforms it in every way I can think of. And if I were to move back to Virginia I would likely sell the fatty.

Granted it is not fair to compare a rigid bike to a FS, but even if I was talking about a HT, I would still go for either a standard or Plus bike over a fatty for non-sloppy/snowy riding.

Not sure if this really answers your question, because I am unclear what exactly you want to do with the bike. You mention gravel and pavement but I think you already have a hybrid.

If you could condense you question to a few sentences you will get better answers. You can leave you marital history out for the sake of conciseness.