Some observations and advice from a fellow rider:
Don't be a professional victim. As best you can, just get on with your life. You were dealt a crap hand in your childhood. Your only good choice is to not fold and instead play out the hand you were dealt.
If the doctors and pills aren't doing you any good, you don't have to keep taking the medication, and you don't have to keep seeing the doctor. All medicines have side effects, and most have serious side effects for a lot of people. The doctors can't turn back time. You are the one who has to live with your past and with your current problems.
A diagnosis of mental illness is extremely common. It getting out to friends and coworkers is not a welcome development. But honestly, it may be juicy gossip for short while, then very soon it will be old news and no one cares.
In short, your life is not even close to ruined. You are much better off than the child that you used to be. Learn to forgive yourself. Both for not being stronger, and for any mistakes that you may have made.