I can understand. Today was a year since I was hit by a car. I celebrated with a 6 mile round trip to and from physical therapy for the injuries. And I'm looking at months more of PT. After a nap I took the road bike out for a 24 mile workout on the quietest route I know of, but still found myself tense and just wanting to get the day over with. I suppose I expected some magical reassurance connected to an arbitrary anniversary event. But I'm glad I did the rides and got home safely.
And there have been way too many close calls since, both as a cyclist and pedestrian. I still believe 90+% of drivers are fine. But there's a tiny fraction of them who need to be off the road. The worst aren't necessarily distracted drivers. I'm bothered more by the drivers who make eye contact but drive directly toward me, missing by inches, while I'm in the crosswalk with the walk signal, etc.
I wouldn't criticize anyone for giving up on the losing battle with motor vehicles. It takes only one careless, negligent or belligerent driver to change a life or take one.