Well, now I know what I was doing wrong. My wife and I were on vacation in Savannah and had taken our bikes. We went to a bar at like 3 in the afternoon and were there thru dinner and shift change. I could still ride, but my wife could not (she could walk, but walking with the bike was above her skill level), so drunk AF I was one handing my bike and holding her handlebar with the other to tow it alongside. We made it, slowly, meanderingly, back to where we were staying. But next time I'll know to bring the proper bike.