Originally Posted by HarborBandS

I'm an aging 40-something Gen X-er who has been married 15 years, and I can't agree more with the statements above. Though I do often see other marriages, usually in older couples, that don't conform to these concepts of mutual cooperation and respect. Is it an old school of thought that a wife is this fragile, volatile creature that requires stepping on eggshells and constant attention? Like a mid 20th century family sitcom? That seems awfully sexist in 2019.

My still-married parents are bordering on elderly, but my mother shared this with me years ago: It is not the responsibility of a husband to make a wife happy, and it is not the responsibility of a wife to make a husband happy. If you are not a happy person independently, you will not be happy in a marriage.

Also, I believe a marriage is a lot more healthy without unreasonable demands and ultimatums. Clearly you have to hold up your end of the bargain and meet your responsibilities in terms of housework, income, or whatever share of tasks you can equitably divide, depending on work schedules, health, and other factors. And you should make some time for your relationship aside from these responsibilities. But if cycling makes you happy, your wife should not demand that you give it up, assuming you are not neglecting your responsibilities or dropping everything on her.