Also, most of us don't think that use of a term makes it a slur. What matters is what it does and how it works. 'Slurs' for white people don't do the social harm and structural oppression that other slurs do. So no, 'how you use it' doesn't make it a slur. Slurs are terms where the derogatory content can't be separated (that is, can't be used in non-slur contexts). 'Cr@cker' can be used to talk about tasty snacks. The TERM, the word itself, is not a slur. The n-word IS a slur, since it doesn't have non-slur contexts. Issues of slur reclamation are separate from whether the term is a slur, though. Don't get that twisted.