I'm no expert in fitting, but I do have expertise in body issues, and I've ridden a lot of bikes over the years and many miles. You should not have pain in your crotch, at all, with a properly fitted bike.
Listen to your pain, don't ride in pain.
The bike should be comfortable in all your riding positions, immediately, and you will "know" it because you will "feel" the comfort of the positioning.
Something isn't right, and riding more will not help, you don't identify yourself as female or male but both can be injured by improperly fitted and set up bikes.