OK, no more x-rays of dilapidated birdhouses built while drunk, please!
Let's see ... Hit by a car in 1972. Very lucky, just shoulder and head abrasions. Nowadays, I suspect we'd have sued the ass off the motorist. Back then, she just put me and my bike in her station wagon and drove me home.
Bruised some ribs when I missed a turn on a fast mountain bike descent in the early 90s. I didn't realize there was a gully there! First time I'd ever had the wind knocked out of me, was convinced I was going to die.
A year later, while touring fully loaded and coming down out of the Sierras, I took a hairpin a bit too wide to the right. Off the shoulder, no problem, brake a little bit ... hit a sandy patch, skidded, went down. Nice of the CHP officer to drive right by me as I sat on the side of the road wondering what happened a minute later. The hotel bar was a god-send that night. Kept going on the tour; was only a week into a five-week tour.
A few years later ... clipped a handlebar on a very stiff hedge while riding the sidewalk to get around some construction. Went down, breaking my left humerus near the shoulder. That one kept me off the bike. In a sling, taking the bus to work, doing physical therapy.
And lots of little mountain-bike dumps and falls over the last two decades. Usually just scrapes and blood.