bjn74

First post here! I've not cycled for about 15 years and when I did I pretty much just did mountain bike riding. Now I'm looking to get back into riding for the following use:

- slow weekend rides with the wife to grab coffee, on bike paths, through parks etc
- training road rides
- riding gravel rides to get away from the traffic and I enjoy dirt roads
- looking forward to the future I can see us driving somewhere to ride through country roads/gravel for half day type of thing.

So I started researching (I'm an engineer so I research things to death) and a friend of mine who road races suggest I get a gravel bike. So I've been sucked down that rabbit hole. Now I'm just confused! I have no intent of riding muddy, messy roads, but want the option to go on gravel roads and maybe occasional single track. While I have no intent to road race, I assume I'll probably end up joining some group rides and want to be able to do those. Comfort is important to me.

Not having ridden for 15 years and never owned a drop bar bike before, I have no baseline for comparison when I jump on a gravel bike! I can't tell if the 'this front end is going to bounce around when I aggressively climb a hill' or 'I'm getting great power transfer through this stiff bottom bracket/frame', or 'this bike is too heavy to be fast enough on road rides'.

So I've ridden the following bikes with comments next to them. I'm looking at spending up to $3k:

Specialized Diverge: Took it for an hour long. Felt comfortable. Liked it. I like the looks.
Trek Domane: Not as comfortable as the diverge. Only a short ride. I like the looks. I'm assuming the smaller tires have an impact on comfort/smoothness.
Giant Revolt Advanced. Tested a size too small. Felt cramped. Front felt nice. It was just after riding the Diverge and my ass was sore after my first bike ride in 15 years, so the back end felt harsh. May not be a fair comparison! I want to test again with a medium. I like the looks.
Cannondale Carbon Topstone 105: Felt smooth. Really liked it. Looked boring in all black!

I have a test ride this week on a Trek Checkpoint but all the reviews I've seen criticize the stiff front end.

Then I get information overload and realize that if I'm doing 75% road rides, bike path etc, do I need a gravel bike or more a comfortable endurance bike that can take a wider tire! I really am confused. Then saw some information that Trek is releasing a new Domane this week that will take a 38 tire. So that has me interested!

Looking for any advice, guidance, as well as bike suggestions. This will be my only bike. I do realize the list of bikes above are mostly the big brands, and that's because they're easy to find/test ride. I do love the look of the Argon18 Dark Matter but can't find many reviews of that and the 105 version is $3200. HELP!!!