Bicycles are people too. Like corporations....
If you have high ceilings, attach the bike up there since warm air rises.
Or give it a hot tub in the hot tub.
Stand it over the furnace vents. If you don't have a furnace, connect the hydronic heating supply to the head tube, and BOTH chainstays to the hydronic return line. If you only connect one chainstay, you get uneven heating of the frame and it will bend. That is how 126mm rearspacing happens.
Start a pottery hobby and put the kiln where the bike sleeps. have a batch of pottery ready to be burned before the bike comes home.