Leisesturm - I do actually like weight lifting and even though the gym is not my favorite, once I get a bit more skilled at cycling and I'm not sore, I would like to get into the gym or do a home routine. I have always had an absurdly easy time building and maintaining muscle, so I think a home routine could probably be adequate for me.
ev780- I do think if you truly HATE the gym, though, you should find other ways to get exercise, even weight bearing exercise. Last year I worked as a Paraprofessional in a special education classroom with kids with disabilities and I was lifting and helping them all the time, so I feel like I got a good amount of weight bearing exercise. We all have to do what works for us and I think if you really hate something you won't do it.
Daniel4 - I agree. In Michigan it often snows sparsely in December and the really snowy season is from January-March. I don't mind the cold all that much, so if I can find a way to bike all year around, I will.
friday1970 - When you say the "chain rings" do you mean the gears?
CAT7RDR - Do you find that weight training would impair your ability to ride due to soreness? Maybe I need to just chill out on the weight equipment a little, as I usually work pretty hard at it, lift heavy. I won't give up because I can't - I have to do something about my health or I will not be around as long as I want to be. I am SO sorry to hear about your brother. I struggle hugely with eating issues, binging, emotional eating and it's been a beast to tackle all that; in a way I think exercising is the easiest part!
livedarklions- I have to agree that it's important to have something you will stick with. While weight training is good advice, I do feel using a simple home set up with some hand weights and benches is probably adequate. I build muscle easily, and I have never sustained any fitness inside a gym. It's just not for me.
Thank you SO much to everyone who replied to help me. It really did help - I feel more motivated, have practical tips as well as philosophical things to ponder about biking.