The pride of achieving a goal through physical suffering is a form of enjoyment for some, but I have to think that one day, everyone will wake up and think to themselves; "what is fun about making myself hurt?"
It may be time to replace "How far do I want to go?" with "where would I like to go today?". As you get used to riding again, you can revisit your original goal, or decide that it's no longer the main goal for you.