urbanknight

I haven't touched either of my bikes in 3 weeks now, and the week before that was just commuting 5 miles to work and back a couple of times.

My new son takes up ALL of my time. Aside from having to eat every 3 hours, he screams bloody murder most of the daylight hours unless he is being bounced (at least I'm getting some sort of a leg workout). Because of this, my wife doesn't want to watch him for hours on end by herself unless she absolutely has to (me going for a ride doesn't qualify) and I can't blame her because I feel the same way.

Do I just have the most fussy baby in the world, or am I doing it wrong? How do you make time to ride, or are you just spending all your time on the forums typing with one hand while holding the baby with the other, like me?

NickDavid

I'm expecting to experience this next year. Trainer next to the crib? Maybe the sound of a wooshing trainer will ease him?

brianbeech

I had the same fussy baby just about two years ago. The first three months were HORRIBLE! She cried constantly it seemed and never slept through the night. We could tell it was tummy problems, but couldn't get her to feel better, even with Mylicon <sp?>. If he's on formula, I suggest trying something called Nursery Water - sounds stupid to buy water, but when they constantly scream I would've tried anything.

Anywho, once we hit the three month mark, she was a different baby. The doc said her tummy just developed enough to handle things better. I suggest spending time with the family until things settle down and if you have a trainer, ride it when the baby is sleeping. If your wife stays home all day with the child, she'll very likely need some relief from all that fussiness.

I know it probably doesn't seem like it, but it does get better. Your ride time will come soon enough.

AngryScientist 

e'gad, my wife is pregnant as we speak, not looking forward to this! good luck.

Steev

Hang in there, it gets better. Trainer while he/she sleeps if you need to keep up your fitness.
For me, it was commuting that kept me on the bike, but I had a 20km to 30km (depending on the house/office at the time) daily commute.

kleinboogie

Once they get moving your whole life is forever changed. Just got to find the right balance with your wife and once you hand off just grab your bike and go. Those swinging chairs work wonders if you want an hour of peace. Otherwise, dig in like the rest of us. I got back to riding when my daughter hit 10 (but that had more to do with working at home and being fat and lazy). GL

Phantoj

one kid, lol

hao

Is trainer/roller possible?
Do y'all have relatives that can help your wife out while you go ride for a few times a week? Maybe get a baby sitter?

Menel

Take him with you on rides!

1. Get some aero bars on your roadie.
2. Loosen your stem and rotate the entire bar assembly until aero bars are vertical, re-tighten.
3. Get one of those baby chest carriers.

Ride upright, with baby in chest carrier, hands up high on the aero bars as far away from brakes and shifters as possible, elbows bent pulling you in close to hold your baby securely (aka squishing the **** out of him) between you and the bars. If you get it positioned just right, the front of levers can act like elbow rests, just don't lean on them too hard.

I kid you not, I saw a woman doing this on the MUP a few weeks ago.

wiscoerik

I ride between 10pm - midnight on weekdays.

Weekends, I get up very early to ride. Then I come home and make sure that my wife can get some time to herself if she wants it.

Trainer is a plus.

Phantoj

What's the age of the little babe?


This too shall pass... incredibly, you will look back with fondness on this period.


One adult should be sufficient to watch a baby. So make a deal with your wife... you watch the baby while she gets out of the house; she watches the baby while you get out.


There are basically two baby parenting philosophies: attachment parenting and scheduling. Scheduling worked great for us!


Finally, consider that your roles of husband and father are more important than your role as a bike rider/racer.


Get a trailer at age 1.5 or so, if you have a good place to ride it!

slowandsteady

My significant other had premature twins after an emergency C-section. Nearly died from liver failure. Then two months later I broke my leg in 8 places. She then had to pump for breast milk since they were too weak for breast feeding, do the extra care because they were premies, AND take care of me(including bed pan) because I was bedridden. That meant, 45 minutes to bottle feed for two very hard to feed twins, every three hours PLUS 20 minutes to pump. That is 65 minutes of time every three hours JUST for the babies to eat. Not to mention cooking, cleaning, going to work, sterilizing bottles, laundry, shopping, and caring for my every need. Not to mention the 200 diapers a week.

Time for you to HTFU.


As far as the crying baby thing. Get a sling and carry the baby everywhere. Also get a swing. Those things are a godsend. But get the kind that swings side to side, not forward and back like a playground swing. It works every time.

You also need to get the baby on a different schedule. If he knows nothing but being bounced, he will expect to be bounced. Get him to be accustomed to the swing instead and it will give you a break. Also, try to negotiate a deal with your wife that you get one hour three days a week for yourself, and she gets one hour three days a week to herself with no baby. That shouldn't be too hard to do. Taking care of one baby for one hour by yourself isn't that difficult. You won't be able to do 4 hour rides or centuries, but you can certainly do three hours a week to at least attempt to maintain your sanity and fitness until the baby is less demanding. It should only be a few more weeks.

drdhsimon

Ours is 21 months now, and number 2 on the way...I really didn't ride much for the 1st 3 months after she was born, but then when the routine was more settled, I resumed weekend rides. All about giving mom some time alone too...tough if she's nursing. Riding just took a temporary back seat, but I've been out a lot since then.

idoru2005

Don't despair, infants go through various stages especially in their first year. So he may grow out of his fussiness. Remember that once you get used to the way your baby feeds/eats, he'll change and you'll have to get used to it all over again.

But, you gotta come to grips with the fact that you have to give up cycling for a while (unless you get a nanny). That's what I had to do (aside from bike commuting). I even had to give up teaching yoga (which I was doing as a 2nd job). I still haven't gone back to teaching and my kid is now 2 1/2. Getting back on the bike meant buying a hybrid that I could attach a baby seat onto. I ended up getting a Bobike Mini and started doing more family oriented rides when she was about 11 months old (strong enough to wear a helmet). Now I attach a Burley to my Allez and I take my kid on 10-20+ mile rides. I've even done hill repeats pulling 40+ extra pounds of weight. The hybrid has now become a spare/grocery getter. Having a both a hybrid (with baby seat) and a burley now means we can take my daughter and her cousins for outings on bicycle.

Biking becomes a whole new experience when you have a little one to consider.

Getting back into serious road riding is going to take a lot of cooperation from your partner. When my kid turned 2, my wife started getting into cycling when we started training for our first century together. This meant leaving our kid in daycare or with family whenever we had a long ride planned. It also meant taking more vacation/PTO days to make things work (schedule-wise). Lately, we take turns watching our kid while the other does long rides. Generally she rides on Saturday and I ride on Sunday. During the week, she does yoga 3 nights a week (while I feed and put our kid to bed), and twice a week (starting next week), I'll be going on nighttime group rides.

BTW, riding your trainer next to the crib or somewhere near the nursery isn't too bad an idea. Just do it safely, you don't want your kid getting tangled up in your rear wheel while its spinning!

The Weak Link

My first chld was colicky and had day-night sleep reversal for 5 months.

My next two were somewhat better.

We wanted a fourth child, but we didn't want to have to go through all that crap again, so we adopted.

Now we have 3 grandkids. Sometimes to spell the evil parents we watch them overnight.

But grandkids are the key. It may take a few years, but it's worth it.

And your baby will someday grow up and kick your ass on a bike.

wunderkind

^
That is just so selfish and sad. I feel real sorry for your newborn. Hopefully your attitude will change once you laid eyes on him/her.

OP, having kids is a joy and a blessing. Something that one will not comprehend until one becomes a parent. Also every child is different. Take this opportunity to enjoy the moment because before you know it, it will be all over. And you will miss it. Your infant may be colic. Try gripe water. Works real well. They sell them in LPS (local pharmacy stores).

https://www.babyslumber.com/articles/...-infant-colic/

I keep telling my 2mth old don't grow up so fast. It's my 2nd child and I love every moment of it. My elder 3-yo goes on rides with me now. I take her to the Montessori and use that opportunity as strength training going up hills.

MinnMan

+1 to all of this. It's a shock at first and you have to let go of some of what you thought was important for the time being. But you'll slowly get your other life back with some changes that will surprise you in a good way.

bonz50

I've got 3 kids, 9.5, 8, and 6 (the 8yr old has down syndrome as well so she's like having a toddler in many ways)... I wouldn't trade em for the world... if riding had to give, then it would give... kids are number one priority in my life, period. if you can't accept this kind of change in your life you have no biz having kids, you are WAY to selfish for this responsibility... seriously.

brianbeech

Surely AngryScientist meant he/she wasn't looking forward to constant fussiness. Let's be honest, who would? I loved my baby with all my heart, but the fussiness was really really hard at times. For our next child, I won't be looking forward to fussiness. I think this was just a misunderstanding.

Velo Dog

Pardon the editing here--go back and read all of this post if you want--but this covers the basics very well. I went through this 30 years ago, and it's still fresh in my mind. A few additional points:
--You're not a cyclist anymore. You're a father. Nothing you'll ever do on the bike is as important as raising that child.
Don't like it? You should have thought of that before you had the baby.
--This is a two-person operation. Taking care of the baby isn't your wife's job, with you "helping" now and then. Especially if she's going to be working, you need to pick up your end of the load. Even if she's going to stay home, the days when you could come in after work, change and head out for a long ride are over. She's going to be just as tired as you are, maybe more so (if you don't believe that, trade places with her on a Saturday--you stay home and do what she does all week, and let her take off for eight or 10 hours so you can't call for help).
I especially endorse keeping the baby with you, rather than parking him or her out of sight. Swings are great--we used them with both kids. When they were small, though, up to maybe six months old, I carried them in front packs whenever it was practical, going to the store, eating, reading or working (I was a journalist who did a lot of writing at home).
As for sleeping through the night...good luck with that. Neither of my kids did it reliably until they were a year old. That's apparently unusual, but we tried EVERYTHING recommended by grandma, the doctors, everybody. Nothing worked. But you don't have to respond to every little whimper. You'd get a new puppy on schedule for eating, going out to poop, whatever. It takes awhile, but you can do the same thing with a child.
Finally, something to cheer you up: If you think it's tough now, wait 13 years.

Phantoj

That's too harsh.

big chainring 

Yep, a good 10 years, and then you are carting them to baseball, soccer, hockey, etc. I'm gearing up for when my kids head off to college. But then I am going to be paying some hefty bills, and will be working my a$$ off to pay for it all. Maybe by the time I'm 65-70yrs. old I'll get the time to ride. Oh, but then I'll be called on to babysit the grandkids.

Face it, life as you know it has forever changed. The quicker you realize it the better. Took me about 6-8 years before I realized it. But after 10 you get in the full swing of it.

slowandsteady

I love my kids(now 21 months old) more than anything. But lets not be delusional. The first few months totally suck. It is constant, exhausting, draining, sleep deprivation. Frankly, it would be a violation of the Geneva convention if the military did to you what a collicky newborn does. You can love your children but still dislike some of the drudgery that goes along with it. It isn't selfish. It is being honest. That is great that you love every second of it. But your experience is not representative of what normal people feel.

Frankly, your attitude is what makes it so much harder for people when the reality hits. They were expecting some Norman Rockwell painting of unending bliss, joys and blessings, but end up with vomit, screaming, and total exhaustion where taking time for yourself to urinate is a luxury and eating meals and sleeping is optional and highly unlikely.

nesdog

Hey Brian...

When our daughter was born, I was between jobs. I ended up a stay at home dad for over 2 years. My wife would leave to teach spec ed at 7 am, get back at 3:30 and then needed her time for lesson plans and her own workout. I was beat to death! I never got to surf, sail, breathe! I had the most high maintenance daughter in the world!

But...over time we began to settle in. And we discovered that 24 Hour Fitness (then Family Fitness Centers) had babysitting for kids 5 months and up! Only $2. It was heaven!! So I bundled her up and did my workouts then. (except for the one time I was in a quiet corner of the gym doing abs on the floor and fell asleep there).

Buy a trainer and do some workouts during nap time. Take the bike with you to work and ride a bit of the valley during lunch. It doesn't matter how far...it's just to get out.

And yeah, accept that having a child means changes.

BTW, our daughter is 16 now and STILL high maintenance but I'm back to surfin', sailin', and riding my bike.

datlas 

UK, this is a difficult situation.

Try to use your trainer.

Accept the fact that you will be riding less, especially the next several months (and possibly years).

Once the little one is on a schedule you may want to try to negotiate a weekly club ride with the Mrs, but pick your battles wisely.

There is a reason why the guys who cycle the most are the young ones without kids or the older ones whose kids have grown up.

In the end, although cycling is wonderful, your family comes first. I know of no parent who feels he/she spent too much time with their young kids.

I did virtually no cycling from the time my first one was born until about 4 years ago (kids are now 9 and 10).

Good luck and feel free to PM if you want further discussion.