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Post a Lie about the poster above - Volume 2

Old 01-27-18, 12:36 PM
  #10551  
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His lies are time-delayed. You know..like Congress.
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Old 01-27-18, 03:14 PM
  #10552  
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His whole cloth prevarications are just chock full of fiber and essential fatty acids and are part of a healthy breakfast.
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Old 01-27-18, 06:45 PM
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Unlike a Florida mayor, he only takes a bag full cash into Dunkin Donuts, and sticks to his story that he takes nothing out since he eats all of the donuts there. He's always exclaiming "My story maybe full of "holes", but it's the truth, and I'll swear on a stack of assorted donuts too!"
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Old 01-28-18, 08:22 AM
  #10554  
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Is seeing a slander therapist to help him work on his truth impediment.
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Old 01-28-18, 10:54 AM
  #10555  
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Humbly wears his merkin hair shirt.
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Old 01-28-18, 07:45 PM
  #10556  
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Has a cold so the fact that their own hair shirt was made in a sweat shop has not dawned on them yet.
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Old 01-28-18, 08:04 PM
  #10557  
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Invited the gang over last night to watch the video of his latest colonoscopy.
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Old 01-28-18, 10:23 PM
  #10558  
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Was sure Carly Simon sang You're So Vein and was ready to demand it be moved to Pills and Ills if posted.
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Old 01-28-18, 11:21 PM
  #10559  
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His surgical staff regularly hears the sound of the Operation Game buzzer, just before any of his surgical procedures.
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Old 01-29-18, 12:09 AM
  #10560  
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Is Dr. Rollfast's favorite patient.
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Old 01-29-18, 12:34 AM
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His wife is still trying to put enough bottles in front of him to have him sign his frontal labotomy papers.
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Old 01-29-18, 09:11 AM
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His lawfirm, Bickers &
Argues,
specializes in oo killed oo.
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Old 01-29-18, 11:44 AM
  #10563  
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Would rather have a bottle in front of him than a frontal lobotomy.
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Old 01-29-18, 12:16 PM
  #10564  
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Would rather have his bird in his hand than put it in the bush.
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Old 01-29-18, 06:21 PM
  #10565  
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Was paying attention to the fish sonar when the ship hit the iceberg.
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Old 01-30-18, 08:16 AM
  #10566  
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When he lost a six pack of Budweiser overboard, he mourned for days.
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Old 01-31-18, 12:47 AM
  #10567  
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After hearing this he volunteered to help with fish rehab.
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Old 01-31-18, 05:23 AM
  #10568  
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Operates a black market to supply rabbits with Trix® cereal.
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Old 01-31-18, 08:34 AM
  #10569  
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Turns Trix on a daily basis............into waste management material.
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Old 02-01-18, 06:38 AM
  #10570  
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Has a group of Hawaiian stoner buddies he calls the Coco Puffs.
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Old 02-01-18, 08:26 AM
  #10571  
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To this day, he still harbors ill will in the fact that Mikey had edged him out on his Life achievements.
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Old 02-01-18, 12:35 PM
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After his first High School PE class was known by the nickname Grape Nuts.
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Old 02-01-18, 03:11 PM
  #10573  
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Is hoping that the line of port-a-johns in the front yard will keep the curious at bay for this year's big Super Bowel party. Plans include multiple big screens displaying colonoscopys from around the world, a half time buffet with a variety of laxatives, stool softeners and barium laden chili washed down with untreated water imported directly from a variety of third world countries. Pregame all you can eat sliders, post game parting gifts of commercial sized rolls of toilet paper and a swinging after party for the truly brave featuring do it yourself enemas.
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Old 02-01-18, 11:52 PM
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His MiraLax laced Jello shots are no longer a hit at any of his company parties, though there is still hope, since no one at any of his family reunions have caught on.
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Old 02-02-18, 10:29 AM
  #10575  
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Could serve the same Jello shots at his family reunion as it's one of the foods they can eat without teef.
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