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Post a Lie about the poster above - Volume 2

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Post a Lie about the poster above - Volume 2

Old 03-01-21, 01:46 PM
  #15826  
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Don't get no overtime cause he work on celery...
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Old 03-01-21, 04:28 PM
  #15827  
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Says it's not a bald spot, it's a solar sex panel.
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Old 03-01-21, 04:44 PM
  #15828  
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Got picked up by the cops at a Flying J truckstop for indecent exposure when he wandered into the restaurant while the law was doing a caffeine and donut fix. One thing led to another and his open warrants as "Possum Pete" aka "The Okie Opossum" aka "Marvin the Marsupial" aka "Peter Pocket" were served when his prints came back. Fortunately @thook was there to post bail so he's back on the road, for now.
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Old 03-01-21, 07:12 PM
  #15829  
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Is storing his remaining yellow snow cones for the summer when he'll melt them and pass them off as fresh squeezed lemonade.
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Old 03-01-21, 08:06 PM
  #15830  
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...sometimes, when he dresses in drag, he replaces his striped referee's top with a T-shirt that says "Squeezed Fresh Daily" right across his fake boobs. He got it when he worked at Orange Julius, in the mall.
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Old 03-01-21, 11:29 PM
  #15831  
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sometimes, when he's touched, the honesty's too much
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Old 03-02-21, 12:59 AM
  #15832  
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...he got touched a lot by creepy old men, when he worked at Hot Dog on a Stick, in the mall. And not in a gentlemanly way, either. But the tips were good, and he really liked the outfit.

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Old 03-02-21, 05:50 AM
  #15833  
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A certain ex-Congressperson from Minnesota has accused him of unwanted Hot Dog on a Stick consumption.

""He seemed so sweet, took me to the fair, took me on the Tilt-a-whirl, showed me the pigs and the pies; the next thing I know, don't you know, is he's got me gobbling corndogs in front of the press..."
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Old 03-02-21, 10:44 AM
  #15834  
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...whenever he "gobbles a corn dog", he likes to first say, "I looks so BIG. But maybe just the tip." Then he giggles. I know it sounds odd, but on him it is charming.
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Old 03-02-21, 06:08 PM
  #15835  
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Just realized that when Dr. Suess is outlawed only outlaws will read Dr. Suess...
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Old 03-02-21, 09:15 PM
  #15836  
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....as a longtime collector of stamps, sent on the first day of issue, with a commemorative, special cancellation, he doesn't get all the complaining about cancel culture.
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Old 03-02-21, 09:41 PM
  #15837  
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The only culture that he ever got in life, grew in his fridge.
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Old 03-02-21, 10:37 PM
  #15838  
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the only culture....and fridge...he ever got in life was/is in his van....down by the river. them solar panels have come a long way, ain't they?
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Old 03-03-21, 07:04 AM
  #15839  
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Was happy to learn his family entered him into the contest to get one of the 8 trips to the moon until they told him it was a 1 way ticket.
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Old 03-03-21, 08:06 AM
  #15840  
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Has hocked his van down by the river, in order to open a celery stand on Mars.
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Old 03-03-21, 09:19 AM
  #15841  
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He's been here five years and they only hung him the right way up yesterday.
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Old 03-03-21, 11:05 AM
  #15842  
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...when posting here on the lies thread, he favors a flowery print housecoat.
Such a garment allows the omission of pants, but is still well within the boundaries of societal norms.
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Old 03-03-21, 03:37 PM
  #15843  
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Pushes the limits of normal behaviour so much he changed his name from Norm to the dude formerly known as Norm.
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Old 03-03-21, 04:34 PM
  #15844  
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no motor? on the playground:

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Old 03-03-21, 06:01 PM
  #15845  
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...sometimes, he is mistaken for the black browed babbler. Until recently rediscovered in the wild, it was thought to be extinct.
The essential difference (and this is mentioned in the field guides,) is that the unibrowed babbler is found only on the North American continent.
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Old 03-03-21, 09:22 PM
  #15846  
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An excellent specimen of the common cross-grained geezer; this species is often confused with the even more common gimpy legged oldfart. Some observers believe that there is a hybridization of the species...
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Old 03-03-21, 11:09 PM
  #15847  
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...he once tried to cross a possum with a jelly donut. He was hoping to get an endless jelly supply from that delightful marsupial pouch.
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Old 03-04-21, 09:09 AM
  #15848  
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The only thing he crossed lately was his local bank, for not wearing a mask while trying to give them cash.
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Old 03-04-21, 09:44 PM
  #15849  
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all this talk of crossing, he's gotten excited to take a chance and wear his prettiest dress out in public more regular like. fortunately, he'll be masked....so he can get away with it
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