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Post a Lie about the poster above - Volume 2

Old 08-01-20, 05:14 AM
  #14226  
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Well known for bringing his betta to bull fights.
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Originally Posted by CarlJohnson View Post
i dont care who he is cos im carl and im awesome
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Old 08-01-20, 07:48 AM
  #14227  
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Would be willing to try demon sex if he could find one that would sleep with him.
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Old 08-01-20, 08:27 AM
  #14228  
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...accidentally discovered years ago that the sex demons are attracted to people without pants.
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Old 08-01-20, 08:41 AM
  #14229  
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Likes to say "Ain't no semen better than demon semen..."
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i dont care who he is cos im carl and im awesome
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Old 08-01-20, 09:15 AM
  #14230  
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Besides having pronoun trouble, he also keeps stressing the wrong sil-AH-bil.
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Old 08-01-20, 09:34 AM
  #14231  
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...those mysterious packets showing up in the mail here are the product of a brushing scam, initiated by his demon seed business.
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Old 08-01-20, 10:16 AM
  #14232  
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Now sits in his rocking chair in front of his house, reminiscing about his youthful fantasies of being a swashbuckling Errol Flynn, but he has now resided himself to being just another porch pirate.
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Old 08-01-20, 10:29 AM
  #14233  
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...stands ever vigilant by his front door, prepared to repel boarders. Which is not difficult, given his poor personal hygiene. The porch pirates look for easier targets when you never bathe or shower.
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Old 08-01-20, 01:33 PM
  #14234  
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An unrepentant backdoor buccaneer...
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i dont care who he is cos im carl and im awesome
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Old 08-01-20, 03:17 PM
  #14235  
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Back door friends are the best kind, and his van has free candy written on both the sides and back to make sure he doesn't miss any opportunities.
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Old 08-01-20, 07:19 PM
  #14236  
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...in the same way he objects to societal mandates to wear pants, he feels doors are an imposition on his personal freedoms. He likes to walk up to a house of someone he doesn't know, open the front door, and shout. "I'm home, Dear !!" every time he goes out for a walk in the neighborhood. "You can't be homeless, if people leave their doors open, " he likes to say.
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Old 08-01-20, 08:21 PM
  #14237  
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Has a knack in his ability to make a long story short.
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Old 08-01-20, 10:41 PM
  #14238  
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...loves shortenin' bread.
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Old 08-01-20, 10:44 PM
  #14239  
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The hitch in his step only appears when hes thoroughly knackered.
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Old 08-01-20, 11:05 PM
  #14240  
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...he's nobody's baby now.


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Old 08-02-20, 08:06 AM
  #14241  
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Is a reoccurring character in several Stephen King novels...
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Originally Posted by CarlJohnson View Post
i dont care who he is cos im carl and im awesome
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Old 08-02-20, 09:46 AM
  #14242  
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When his life went to the dogs years ago, he just recently purchased an extravagant plot at the nearby pet cemetery.
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Old 08-02-20, 09:57 AM
  #14243  
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Has extraordinary psychic powers; he mentally produces a noxious odor that nearly suffocates everyone around him at the slightest provocation.
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Originally Posted by CarlJohnson View Post
i dont care who he is cos im carl and im awesome
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Old 08-02-20, 10:36 AM
  #14244  
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No extraordinary psychic powers needed on his part, just a couple of bowls of his favorite aunt's split pea and ham soup will get the same results.
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Old 08-02-20, 10:36 AM
  #14245  
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...has never, ever turned and given a dirty look to the guy standing next to him, after farting in an elevator.
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Old 08-02-20, 11:25 AM
  #14246  
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Has built a huge business empire on the simple premise that "He who smelt it dealt it..."
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i dont care who he is cos im carl and im awesome
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Old 08-02-20, 01:40 PM
  #14247  
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...used to smoke smelt, but in the absence of them due to climate change he has switched to smoking farm raised salmon. And some other stuff, best left unnamed because of the legal ramifications.
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Old 08-02-20, 03:52 PM
  #14248  
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Has several family members that were models for the original Mountain Dew ads, back when they had more teef.
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Old 08-02-20, 08:05 PM
  #14249  
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...a lot of people are saying that he would lie with more gravitas if he could bring himself to wear pants. Not me necessarily, but a lot of people.
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Old 08-02-20, 10:11 PM
  #14250  
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In his youth, his goal was to become an Apollo astronaut, and get a chance at moon shot, but the closest he ever got to that goal was being stuck behind no motor on a randonneuring trip.
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