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Saying yes sir and yes ma’am

Old 10-29-19, 04:04 PM
  #151  
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My cat calls me "@sshole."
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Old 10-29-19, 04:11 PM
  #152  
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Originally Posted by bbbean View Post
At lunch today, my server called me sweetie, honey, darlin' and sugar by the time I left. Put a smile on my face every time. Nothing in the world inappropriate about being nice to people.
That wouldn't be interpreted the same way if it was a man addressing a woman
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Old 10-29-19, 04:28 PM
  #153  
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Originally Posted by RubeRad View Post
That wouldn't be interpreted the same way if it was a man addressing a woman
Because sexism
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Old 10-29-19, 04:30 PM
  #154  
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Originally Posted by bobwysiwyg View Post
You missed my point entirely.
I'm listening.
Originally Posted by RubeRad View Post
That wouldn't be interpreted the same way if it was a man addressing a woman
Just so we're clear, what is that interpretation? Also, I've never heard a male server/waiter use endearing terms to refer to a customer they did not know. Have you?
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Old 10-29-19, 05:59 PM
  #155  
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Originally Posted by KraneXL View Post
Just so we're clear, what is that interpretation?
Depending on the woman, they might feel flattered, or insulted, or patronized. And I guess the interpretation is also variable coming from a 'mature' woman to a younger man; you would be insulted, and everybody else would be fine.

Also, I've never heard a male server/waiter use endearing terms to refer to a customer they did not know. Have you?
I don't know if I actually have, but I can envision a diner in the south, with just one old man as a cook, who chats with customers and takes their orders from the flat-top.
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Old 10-29-19, 06:15 PM
  #156  
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Originally Posted by KraneXL View Post
In the military, addressing superiors by sir or ma'am is not just a matter of good manners, but required by regulation.
Couldn't agree more about earning respect. My issue is regarding "assumed" respect. Be that, as it may, I also understood military regulations and generally had few problems adhering to them. Being required, chewed out, whatever you want to call it for failing to salute, when it far exceeds regs distance, didn't sit well with me and happened all too often at Fort Meade. Fortunately, most of the officers I encountered in Vietnam were less hard@sses and felt no need to rub it in.
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Old 10-29-19, 06:15 PM
  #157  
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Originally Posted by KraneXL View Post
I didn't invent manners, but I do accept them. Good manners are never inappropriate regardless of age.He was improperly trained. But he did correct his mistake and apologize.
What do manners say about telling people how to do their jobs when you aren't their manager?
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Old 10-29-19, 08:57 PM
  #158  
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Originally Posted by RubeRad View Post
Depending on the woman, they might feel flattered, or insulted, or patronized. And I guess the interpretation is also variable coming from a 'mature' woman to a younger man; you would be insulted, and everybody else would be fine.


I don't know if I actually have, but I can envision a diner in the south, with just one old man as a cook, who chats with customers and takes their orders from the flat-top.
Yep, Mel's really does exist, and so does gum chewing Flo. But they predominately located in small towns and deal mostly with regulars, so their mom and pop casual demeanor is accepted -- and in many cases expected -- as a part of the decor.

Originally Posted by Seattle Forrest View Post
What do manners say about telling people how to do their jobs when you aren't their manager?
First, you're beyond the manager as the customer is the biggest boss since you hold the cash. Second, this is a service job, and as the patron you have the right to dictate how that service is to be provided (within reason, of course).

When you sit down to get a hair cut or a shave do you just let your barber do whatever comes to his mind (assuming he doesn't know you). Or do you tell him how you want your hair cut, sometimes even which tool you want him to use? The patron is always the ultimate boss. That's a part of proper service training btw.
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Old 10-29-19, 09:57 PM
  #159  
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I went to the doctor for a physical, I told him I'm the customer and boss, he's just a service provider; I want steroids. He didn't agree with your theory.

Next I went to the grocery store, and said as a customer I'm always right and I'm in charge here, I want all the checkout people and baggers to be naked. To be honest I only wanted the attractive ones to be naked but I didn't want to confuse the situation. They told me I was free to take my business elsewhere.

At the restaurant I noticed a sign about how they can refuse service to anybody.

Go figure.
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Old 10-30-19, 12:10 AM
  #160  
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Originally Posted by Machka View Post
As a woman, I have a great deal of difficulty calling a man "sir". In fact, I don't think I've ever done it. There has never been a situation where it was appropriate.
I’ve never said ‘sir’ to man either. The view of some in this thread to need to just show respect through a word to certain groups of people feels too controlling to me. i do always try to be kind, open and polite when addressing anyone but my respect is earned by a person being honest, caring, thoughtful and especially having a good sense of self-respect themselves. In business and social settings i see greeting someone in a way that is just simply polite rather than in a disciplined/regimented respect way as both positive and egalitarian.
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Old 10-30-19, 01:03 AM
  #161  
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KISS said yes Ma’am it’s just a Texas thing. The concert was great! Starting in Perth Australia in November. Of course these are fans but still it was fun and all had a great time.
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Old 10-30-19, 01:49 AM
  #162  
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Originally Posted by Seattle Forrest View Post
My cat calls me "@sshole."
No comment just
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Old 10-30-19, 01:55 AM
  #163  
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Originally Posted by Seattle Forrest View Post
I went to the doctor for a physical, I told him I'm the customer and boss, he's just a service provider; I want steroids. He didn't agree with your theory.
Good news, there's a million other doctors to choose from. I've walked away from a half dozen that didn't provide the quality of service I needed.

Next I went to the grocery store, and said as a customer I'm always right and I'm in charge here, I want all the checkout people and baggers to be naked. To be honest I only wanted the attractive ones to be naked but I didn't want to confuse the situation. They told me I was free to take my business elsewhere.
Now you're just being adolescent. I said within reason.
At the restaurant I noticed a sign about how they can refuse service to anybody.

Go figure.
Refusal of service is contingent on the violation of policies of behavior above and beyond that acceptable by the general public: You have a right to complain. But you don't have the right to create a ruckus, trash the place, or start insulting patrons and employees.

BTW, I also saw a sign on the wall. It basically stated, "We are dedicated to providing the highest level of quality service possible". Then it gave a contact number for complaints and suggestions. How's that for keeping things in perspective?
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Old 10-30-19, 02:41 AM
  #164  
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Wow, this thread is a testament to how times have changed. People say they can easily refuse to call sir/madam even their customers/superiors. Well consider yourselves lucky "ladies and gentlemen" (i am pretty sure even these are politically incorrect for you). Cause if i was your boss, there'd be a lot of firing going on in that company
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Old 10-30-19, 03:04 AM
  #165  
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Originally Posted by bbbean View Post
At lunch today, my server called me sweetie, honey, darlin' and sugar by the time I left. Put a smile on my face every time. Nothing in the world inappropriate about being nice to people.

As the late great Jim Jackson said, "Ain't in nice to be nice when you can be nice!"

You'll get called "sweetheart" or "darl" (pronounced a little bit like "doll") here. Or at least I do!
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Old 10-30-19, 03:08 AM
  #166  
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Originally Posted by KraneXL View Post
I didn't invent titles, manners, or formality. That all existed long before I came along. I'm guessing a lot of people found the opposite offensive or titles would never have come into existence. Those "some people" apparently felt strong enough to formalize them and write them down.
Where?




Originally Posted by KraneXL View Post
In the military, addressing superiors by sir or ma'am is not just a matter of good manners, but required by regulation.
Thankfully, I'm not in the military.
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Old 10-30-19, 03:11 AM
  #167  
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Originally Posted by Newspaper_Nick View Post
Wow, this thread is a testament to how times have changed. People say they can easily refuse to call sir/madam even their customers/superiors. Well consider yourselves lucky "ladies and gentlemen" (i am pretty sure even these are politically incorrect for you). Cause if i was your boss, there'd be a lot of firing going on in that company

In the company where I work, we ALL refer to each other by our first names. I like that.

Fortunately, not referring to someone as sir/ma'am, isn't a fireable offence in this country.
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Old 10-30-19, 06:35 AM
  #168  
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My first son-in-law wanted to call me by my first name. I told him that I preferred to be called "Mr. G" or "Sir", but that I understood his explanation why and would accept it. He calls me "Phil". I still cringe inwardly, but try to simply let it go. I love him and consider him a fine son-in-law. So...

My Dad was a Marine. If he gave you direction, you responded, "yes, Sir." There was no debate. I now appreciate that so much more. I always address strangers as "Sir" or "Ma'am", particularly if they are senior to me. Much younger strangers might be "young man" or "young lady" or "miss", if unmarried.

My peeve is being called "you guys" by casual wait staff. As in, "how are you guys tonight?" Excuse me, but I am not "you guys" to you. I am most definitely "Sir".

And where I work, superiors are always Mr. or Ms. or General or some title of respect. Peers are first name, as are subordinates. That's the convention. I like it fine.
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Old 10-30-19, 07:09 AM
  #169  
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Originally Posted by Phil_gretz View Post
My first son-in-law wanted to call me by my first name. I told him that I preferred to be called "Mr. G" or "Sir", but that I understood his explanation why and would accept it. He calls me "Phil". I still cringe inwardly, but try to simply let it go. I love him and consider him a fine son-in-law. So...

My Dad was a Marine. If he gave you direction, you responded, "yes, Sir." There was no debate. I now appreciate that so much more. I always address strangers as "Sir" or "Ma'am", particularly if they are senior to me. Much younger strangers might be "young man" or "young lady" or "miss", if unmarried.

My peeve is being called "you guys" by casual wait staff. As in, "how are you guys tonight?" Excuse me, but I am not "you guys" to you. I am most definitely "Sir".

And where I work, superiors are always Mr. or Ms. or General or some title of respect. Peers are first name, as are subordinates. That's the convention. I like it fine.
What today's kids and their enablers do not understand is that when you are born, you are just a blank slate. You build yourself from the ground up throughout your life and earn each and every title as you age/mature and gain experience. These titles are not about some superiority complex or master/slave dynamic, on the contrary, they are rightfuly earned titles with experience as you increase the count of pages in your book. But of course good luck telling this to the 20 something know it all.
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Old 10-30-19, 07:16 AM
  #170  
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OK, now I'm beginning to this some of you are pulling our legs.
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Old 10-30-19, 07:18 AM
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Originally Posted by no motor? View Post
One thing I learned after moving to Texas and encountering the language difficulties was the phrase "youall". It covered a lot of ground, and no one got offended by it as it was such a common phrase. Even when I was having a hard time understanding the native Texans and vice versa we all understood what youall meant.
Remember, "y'all" is singular

"all y'all" is plural
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Old 10-30-19, 07:21 AM
  #172  
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Originally Posted by bobwysiwyg View Post
I believe myself to be polite and respectful. However, the military, long ago, cured me of the "sir" and "Ma'am" thing where, most who insisted on it, weren't worthy whereas those that did not got more respect from me.
Apparently, the military was unable to cure your innate rebellion. That's all that it is.
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Old 10-30-19, 07:48 AM
  #173  
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Originally Posted by Phil_gretz View Post
Apparently, the military was unable to cure your innate rebellion. That's all that it is.
Some truth there for sure.
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Old 10-30-19, 08:03 AM
  #174  
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I wonder, in the military of Oz, how they train the rank and file to respond to senior officers...

"Righto mate?"

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Old 10-30-19, 09:11 AM
  #175  
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Originally Posted by Newspaper_Nick View Post
Cause if i was your boss, there'd be a lot of firing going on in that company
good luck on having a productive and inspired workforce! I prefer working for and or being a ‘leader’ who earns authority through understanding, trust and moral example rather than a boss who demands blind obedience.
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