drxbmw

If you’re a cyclist living in an area that experiences snowfall, at some point this winter you're going to find yourself snowbound. So instead of succumbing to cabin fever, you should be ready to make the best of it by using your downtime productively. Here are some things to do that will keep you from going stir-crazy:

Clean Your Bikes

I am not an advocate of excessive washing, polishing, detailing, or otherwise coddling your bicycle. However, even I acknowledge there occasionally comes a time when a cleaning is necessary. Signs that your bicycle may be ready for cleaning include:

--The chain looks like hemp twine

--Corrosion has effectively rendered your geared bike a fixed-gear

--The small rodent that met its demise in your mountain bike drivetrain has decomposed completely

--You loaded your ‘cross bike on your roof rack and drove to a race the other day. When you arrived the dirt clumps had blown off and you realized you had actually brought your road bike.

The simple way to clean your bike is with a hose, or else with a bucket of water and a brush. However, if you’re a city dweller, you might not have access to a hose, and carting a bucket, a bike, and a bunch of cleaning supplies from your apartment to the street can be highly inconvenient—especially in winter. If this is you, follow these steps to cleanliness:

1) Rinse bicycle in shower (avoid using “pulsing massage” shower head setting directly on bearings)

2) Drip-dry for ten minutes, then airdry with blowdryer

3) Remove chain, cassette, and other small parts such as derailleurs and pulleys, and wash in dishwasher

4) If no dishwasher, line toilet bowl with vinyl window screen. Place small parts in toilet, fill with degreaser, and flush repeatedly

5) Blow dry, re-lube, and re-install

Upgrade Your Bikes

Now is a good time to perform all those vital upgrades that various magazines and websites insist you can’t live without. Here are some things to look out for:

--If the rear cassette of your road bike has fewer than 10 cogs, upgrade to a 10-speed system immediately

--Compact is the new triple, so if you’re still using a triple crank on your road bike discard it immediately. Triples are dorky, whereas compacts are “stealth dork” because people have to look pretty closely to tell you’re using one

--If your mountain bike has a rigid fork, replace it with a suspension fork

--If your mountain bike has a suspension fork, replace it with a rigid fork. (Rigid is the new suspension.)

--Be sure your mountain bike has the correct wheel size. 29” is the new 26”, and 69ers are the new 29ers. And 650b is the new 700c. If this is too confusing, just use 27” road wheels, declare them the new 700c, and wait for someone to make mountain tires for them.

Ride the Trainer

Not having fun on your bike doesn’t have to stop just because you can’t ride outside. Just bolt your bike to the trainer and flail away! Of course, everyone--even roadies--eventually gets bored riding indoors. If time starts passing slowly for you, here are some fun ways to speed it up again:

Make Videos of Yourself

A fan, a scenic backdrop, and some pro team kit is all you need to re-enact great moments in cyclesport. If you have a garage you can even incorporate team car hand-ups. It’s like pro cycling karaoke!

“Three’s Company” Intervals

--This popular sitcom bridged the gap between the 70s and the 80s, and it can also bridge the gap in your fitness. Simply watch it while you ride the trainer and do a 90-second interval each time either Mr. Roper or Mr. Furley looks directly at the camera. You’ll own the sprints next season.

Album/Movie Synch-Ups

--One of the biggest obstacles to reaping the benefits of riding the trainer is forcing yourself to stay on it long enough. One way to make the time fly is with album/movie synch-ups. You’ve probably heard that if you listen to Pink Floyd’s “Dark Side of the Moon” and watch “The Wizard of Oz” they match up perfectly.

Well, these aren’t the only ones. Other uncanny matches that will transport you to the end of your workout with their magic are: Bon Jovi’s “Slippery When Wet” with “Sophie’s Choice;” Don Johnson’s “Heartbeat” with “Serpico;” and “Weird Al” Yankovic’s “Dare To Be Stupid” with D.W. Griffith’s “Birth of a Nation.”

Post On Internet Forums

Whether or not you’re actually riding, it’s important to give other people all over the world the impression that you are by gratuitously posting winter-related questions and ride reports to internet forums. Posts that will impress others with your hardiness include:

--“Does anybody know of a handlebar-mounted thermometer that gives readings in Kelvin?”

--“Sheet-metal screws for homemade snow tires— Phillips or slotted?”

--“Help! Motocross tires won’t clear the stays of my Surly Pugsley!”

--“Looking for a cycling-specific periscope for riding through snowdrifts over 6’.”

--Ride reports that include phrases like: “Temps finally above 2 here in Northern Minnesota so I loaded the panniers with sterno fuel and headed out for a ride;” “Day four—we had consumed the last of the seal blubber and Dave was starting to look appetizing;” and “Cold one today—in fact my hands are too cold to move so I’m typing this with my snot-sickle.”

Gary
Williamsport,Pa

nwmtnbkr

Good suggestions, but I'm usually on the tractor plowing out my drive and my neighbor's drive. Then it's on to shoveling the areas where I can't get the tractor, like the walkway in front of the house and the unenclosed breezeway between the house and shop. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that I don't have to go up on the roof to shovel this year. I had to do that twice last year and once the year before. I'm really getting sick of the abnormally cold weather pattern that has been entrenched over us since the end of November. We broke a 50-year record for cold last winter, but it's been far colder this winter so we're setting new low records yet again. This winter, our worst temps so far have been -20F, before factoring in windchill. That's just too cold; I don't know how people in Alaska stand that kind of cold all winter long.

cranky old dude

Much like nwmtnbkr, I'm waaay too busy re-distributing snow. I spend more hours shoveling snow per day (when shoveling is required) than I would have spent riding on a warm day.

By the time I clear the drive, walk, path out to the garage, deck, and during big snow events the garage roof and the porch and house roofs, there is no time left to even think about my bikes. The stubborn Green Man in me refuses to start up the 8 horse snow thrower until such time as my old tired body can throw shovels of snow no more.

The radio just announced that when the snow finally stopped falling this afternoon we had recorded 115 consecutive hours of measurable snowfall. It's snowing lightly now and there is another three or four day event bearing down on us.

Now don't read into this that I don't like winter, I love it. When I downhill skied I would use all my vacation time during the winter. I've preached to my daughters that they should set up their permanent residence in the Great lakes Basin as fresh water will be the next gold. Snow and the Great Lakes are synonomous (sp?). The rare blue sky days after a fresh snow fall are as pretty as anyone could ask for. I hear that snow shoing and X-country sking are fun and good exercise. THERE ARE NO BUGS OUTSIDE DURING THE WINTER. I HATE BUGS!

Maybe upwind of the lake would work towards affording one more winter leisure time.

The Weak Link

Getting weird and it's only the first week of January. It's going to be a very long winter.

It already has been.

doctor j

Tonight, I bought some ZEP orange degreaser in preparation for the onslaught of the next three days... low double digits, single digits, minus single digits Snow, freezing rain tonight.

We'll clean bikes, clean house, load ammunition, and bemoan the rotten weather conditions

BluesDawg

Wash a bike in the shower? Clean a chain in a dishwasher? Are you serious?

Good ideas in general, though.

Retro Grouch 

I don't know about serious but I'm betting either single or soon to be single.

NOS88

Well, I can see that making the extensive and entertaining list you offer is one additional thing you've found that works. As is Cranky and nwmtbrk, I'm with the snow re-distribution corp after heavy snow. Since the boys are no longer in the house (one moved out the other at school) I'm the only one able to do this in my household. It's typically a three hour job when the snow is 4 to 8 inches. Last snowfall was 18 inches and that jacks the time up to over four hours. Then there's the drifting snow that has to be dealt with on the following days. Typically moving the snow and taking the dog for his daily walk is about all the "free" time I have available. I don't consider posting on bike forums as an activity done it free time. Rather, it's like taking a vitamin. I don't know if it helps keep me healthy, but I think it does. So, I'm going to keep doing it.

Retro Grouch 

It doesn't take very much snow for our school district to cancel so I'm off today (unpaid). I live in a condo so we have professional snow re-distributors. If it wasn't so cold I'd go outside to give them some pointers. Hopefully they'll be more appreciative or at least less menaceing than the hedge trimmer guy.

jedde

I just hose my bike with the Ortho pump-up sprayer, minus RoundUp.
Outdoors.
Its much less intrusive than the below methods.

[QUOTE=BluesDawg;10236879]Wash a bike in the shower? Clean a chain in a dishwasher? Are you serious?

Artkansas 

Don't forget making plans to move south.

BluesDawg

Snow forecast for Georgia later today. Probably just slush and downed power lines this far south.

Beverly

I've never cleaned a chain in my dishwasher but I have used the shower to clean the bike in the winter. It works just great. I have a large walk-in shower with a hand held shower head......great for cleaning the bike

NOS88

But, I've got to ask. How hard is it then to clean the shower?

kr32

As Cramer on Seinfeld would say "That's kooky talk"

If I I had a 8 horse snow thrower that puppy would be fired up as soon as the snow stopped falling and maybe even before.

Beverly

Not hard at all. I spray a cleaner on the walls and use the shower head to wash it down.

I don't use the shower for a thorough cleaning of the bike....just to wash the salt off it.

BluesDawg

I almost never pour or spray water on my bike to clean it. Usually I brush off the worst dirt or grime and wipe off the rest with a cloth and 409 or Simple Green. This works even after a major mudfest on my MTB as long as I let it dry first. If any of the components are too dirty to be cleaned that way, I remove them and clean them in a wash tub. That normally only is done for the annual teardown and maintenance.

stapfam

Road bikes always get a run down with a damp cloth after stripping wheels and seat post off. Only exception is the chain that gets cleaned with a chain cleaner. Just get the feeling that a road bike does not get dirty enough to wash off.

But the MTB's--- They need decomtamination and unless I clean it immediately I get home- It is going to be dirty on the next ride. Wash off with a hose- Then spray with a cleaning soap and wash off again. Then it is off with the wheels and seat post -clean the chain and then spray with a water displacing oil (WD 40 or the like). Shake and leave for a couple of hours while I clean the wheels and have a shower. Then it is back to the nice bit of polishing the thing and repairing or replacing any bits that were not working properly on the ride.

But that annual stripdown. Only done religiously on the Tandem but every part comes off the frame- Forks get stripped and cleaned and on stripdown or before- Parts are checked to see if they need replacing and wheels are sent to the builder for retension and trueing. Something satisfying about that annual rebuild. What is more rewarding is that I know that it will last another year before it needs a fortune spent on it---Again.

palookabutt

Cleaning the bike??

Suddenly I feel a lot better about hopping on the trainer...!