Airwick

Recently, someone special indicated she wanted to join me on the next tour. I was surprised,...It's exciting, but also scary.

One issue that we need to find a compromise on is staying in touch with friends and family. She's already indicated she's looking forward to blogging, or as I call it, journalizing.

It's her decision, but I know her decision will affect our tour. I'm against it, but want to give touring with a partner (or at least her) a fair shake,....

My brilliant idea is to ask her to limit her daily entries to "eight sentences or less."

Can this be a reasonable compromise?

jabantik00

how would it affect your tour? why limit her daily entries at all? clearly i don't understand

Machka 

Why are you against blogging the tour??

blaise_f

Your proposal is confusing until you explain said reason her "decision will affect our tour".

Airwick

Hi Machka

At this point in planning for the tour, it's just an attempt to blend our two goals for this trip. I agree she has every right to blog, I just know that it would become a factor as far as time, effort, and energy. So, just like trying to decide how much gear you're going to carry and who's going to carry it...it's just one of those things that we thought we needed to find a reasonable compromise on.

wolfpack 

i think i could live with 32 sentences/30minutes top.

Machka 

If you pull into a library somewhere and she wants to update her blog, with a decent typing speed, she could knock off several paragraphs in no time at all.

I type 60 wpm, when I get going, if a sentence is 20-30 words, I could do 2-3 sentences a minute. Given 15 minutes, I could have 30-45 sentences up on a blog.

It would probably take me longer to try to figure out how to sum everything up in 8 or fewer sentences than it would to just give me 15 minutes at a keyboard to type as much as I wanted.

Rowan and I travel with his pocketmail device. It's great!! Not only has it kept us in touch over the years, but it's a wonderful way to keep in touch with friends and family on a tour ... and to write up the tour story. In the evenings, after we've arrived at the campsite, I type an email to my parents, and type up the day's events in an email to myself ... and save. The next day, when we get to a phone, we send the emails. When I return home from the tour, I put all the emails I sent to myself onto my website, and I'm done.

If a person had a blog, the person could copy and paste the email they sent to themselves the day before and post the story. Quick and simple.

Wogster

Placing a limit may annoy your travelling companion, and that can make the trip unpleasant. It can also hurt a relationship, so if this is someone you really like, you may not want to go there. Probably better to see how you want to plan the tour, if touring together is even possible. For example if your one of those guys who wants to be up a 5AM and on the road at 5:30 and ride constantly until 8PM before collapsing in camp, and she wants to ride 4-5 hours a day, with lots of down time, it isn't going to work.

xyzzy834

My tendency is to tread lightly into other people's relationships. However, you did ask, so...

You've indicted in a followup your concern for the time and effort it might take for your companion to blog/journal her trip. Asking her to limit it to eight sentences or less is essentially asking her not to spend any effort or take any time doing it. I don't see the compromise. She gives up blogging (except for the equivalent of a couple of twitter updates) and you give up what?

People tour on bikes for different reasons. For some, its an individual accomplishment. "Gee, look what I did. I rode across the entire US by myself."

For others it's a vacation, a chance to see the country from a bike's perspective and pace. "Gee, look at what I saw on my bike trip."

If you see the pending tour as an opportunity to log another accomplishment and your companion sees it as a chance to spend some time with you and share her experience with friends and family, the seeds of conflict are already sewn. I don't know that I've characterized your motivations accurately at all. You're the best judge of that.

It seems to me, the first order of business is to agree on the purpose and goals of the joint tour. Once you two really agree on that, I think the blogging and other details will work themselves out nicely.

bobframe

I think its a wonderful idea. Have you decided how much water she gets yet?

Machka 

+1

I would be annoyed if Rowan told me I had to limit my typing to 8 sentences. I could see making a deal where we would spend 30 minutes at a library in the middle of the afternoon, during which time (in our case) we would both get on computers and do our thing for the 30 minutes. If Airwick isn't a computer person, then maybe he and his partner could go to the library, agree to 30 minutes, and he could read a newspaper or flip through a magazine or something during that time.

It can be nice to take a break like that in the middle of the day, but I could see agreeing to limit the time in that way so that you don't end up spending several hours at the library in the middle of the afternoon, and thus arrive at the campsite really late.

And yes, before discussing gear, bicycles, or anything like that, partners need to determine the following types of information ... and come to an agreement on it all that works for both partners:

-- what time do you feel comfortable getting up in the morning?
-- how long do you think it will take to get ready to ride?
-- do you like a fairly long lunch break in the middle of the day? Or not?
-- would you like to stop and visit tourist attractions along the way? Do you prefer to stay in one place a couple nights in order to take in a particular tourist attraction? Or are you more interested in riding than seeing the sights?
-- are you the type of cycletourist who likes to ride pretty much every day ... your "rest days" might be a 30 mile day instead of the usual 80 mile days? Or do you like to arrange a pattern of 3 days of riding and 1 day off, or something similar?
-- how many hours of riding would you like to do each day? (or how far could you see yourself riding each day?)
-- what time would you like to arrive at the campsite?
-- what are some things you might like to do between arriving at the campsite and going to sleep? Do you need to eat immediately upon arrival at the campsite? Do you like to relax at the campsite in the evenings? Do you prefer to seek out some night life in a nearby town?
-- what time would you like to go to sleep?

robow

In this day and age of three second sound bites, eight sentences is a novel. No big deal, worry about other stuff.

Airwick

All good points and valid, but it is also fair for it to be a topic for me before the tour. I now enjoy very little communication on my tours and she did ask to come along, after all.

I think I've already won this discussion with my mighty persuasion skills,... she wrote me indicating she likes my postcard touring proposal.

Airwick

Marvelous idea, Machka,.... I took your test.

Machka 

One additional question might be regarding days off. Are you the type of cycletourist who likes to ride pretty much every day ... your "rest days" might be a 30 mile day instead of the usual 80 mile days? Or do you like to arrange a pattern of 3 days of riding and 1 day off, or something similar?

Airwick

I pm'ed her and ask her to take your test, Machka. Really good questions.

She's a roadie, this should be interesting.


Sundays are rest days but usually some riding. (unless ahead of schedule for the week) - Happens sometimes,....

wolfpack 

good idea...

Machka 

For this one ...

-- how long do you think it will take to get ready to ride? does this include breaking camp?

I always think that it shouldn't take me any time at all to dash off to the toilet, break camp, and have breakfast. But it always seems to take me a good solid hour or more for some reason. Maybe it is because I'm not a morning person and I move slower in the morning or something.

Airwick

rats, I don't see an automatic built in excuse to say no in her answers,...

but she's a roadie, she'll grow tired of this in two weeks.

wolfpack 

roadie, schmoadie

Airwick

Machka, now to eliminate her if she chooses the wrong way to carry her gear,.....

Bruce Enns

Once again I'm reminded why solo riding/touring is so attractive to me!

semperfi1970

Airwick, slow down its not a race, its a tour. Enjoy her and her blog, you are the one that said she is special.

Airwick

Don't go giving her the upper hand, semperfi1970

The Impossipede

So your plan is to ride from sun up to sun down, have sex, and go to sleep? You really should make that explicitly clear to your prospective partner. So far, all I know about her role on this expedition is that her doing one of the major things she's looking forward to will annoy you, and she'll provide camp entertainment in your few non-riding minutes. Hmmm.

If I've misinterpreted your winking answer to the second to last question, I apologize now, but this sounds less like touring WITH a partner and more you're like condescending to allow someone to accompany you on your tour on your terms.