roundypndr 

Constantly toots his horn about being a Rambin' Man.

ahsposo 

Constantly toots.

skijor

Aspires to be Chaotic Evil by using semicolons inappropriately; but he's an undeniably Neutral Good nerd.

3alarmer

.
...his new invention promises to make him a wealthy man at last. Marketed directly to consumers via a late night TV advertising blitz, The Fartbit ®, comes in seven bright colors, with a USB charger, and is programmable using the convenient touch screen for small, loudness, and volume. You can finally keep track of your farts !!! If you are not 100% satisfied with your purchase, we promise a full refund if returned to us in the original packaging within 30 days.*

*void where prohibited by law.

ahsposo 

Is seeking Venture Capital for his new company, Netfarts, a flatulence streaming service...

no motor?

Farts frequently to prove he's not full of just fecal matter.

skijor

Captain Jack will make him lie tonight.
Though he's feeling mighty sick.
Also mishears lierics.

roundypndr 

His favorite Sugar Ray shower song, "Captain Morgan, every morning, with a Dayglo bottle hanging from my four post bed"....

ahsposo 

Due to a major interruption in the supply chain, shortages of fibs, distortions, lies and Whoppers are expected and he is panic buying and hoarding all of those plus he is salting away malicious gossip, slurs and outright fabrications.

3alarmer

.
...Outright Fabrications is the name he chose for his new manufactured double wide homes business. He's selling them to the people in rural Georgia who want something they can bury with the backhoe, turning it into an instant home bunker and survival shelter. Advance orders are brisk.

no motor?

Is threatening to post pictures of Ahsposo's free candy van/shanty on the Outright Fabrication website after hacking the website (pantsless1 was such an easy guess he said) if Ahsposo doesn't come up with the ransom.

3alarmer

.
...only posted that lie above because he's desperate for a piece of the action.

skijor

Searches Pinterest for the ultimate lie.
#doomscrolling

ahsposo 

Woke in the middle of the night, stirred by a vague yet powerful instinct. Try as he might to ignore it, he was compelled to his kitchen where he devoured the last slice of pie and downed a glass of milk. Satisfied, he went back to bed knowing, deep down in his atavistic center, he had just answered The Call of The Mild.

no motor?

Having been kicked off of social media for lieing before it was cool, he's had to move his online store to the dark web. He says business is great there, but who can believe anything he says.

roundypndr 

He'll never get caught lying through his teeth, since he always removes his dentures before he does.

no motor?

Put the toots in Toots and the Maytalls.

3alarmer

.
...he's the lead for Toots and My Tail, the local Reggae cover band there at Leisure World in Waukegan.

skijor

He takes requests. Whether you dig the little white lie, the old-timey balderdash, or total bs, he'll deliver. Curbside pick-up also available.

no motor?

All his locally produced lies end in "eh?"

roundypndr 

Thanks to his disdain for wearing pants, it's easy to tell that he put the limp in Limp Bizkit.

makshima

Is the long lost brother of the Stig.

ahsposo 

Probably doesn't realize how strained relations are between Stig and his long lost brother since that ugly donut hole incident.

no motor?

Has an ironclad alibi that he wasn't part of the mob attempting to overthrow the government on the 6th. "All of those people were wearing pants, and I haven't been seen wearing pants in public since the last century".

roundypndr 

His one and only day of being a rebel at O' Possum High School, when he wore rolled upped legging blue jeans, still haunts his family to this day.