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Busted! N+1 discovered by wife...how to placate?

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Busted! N+1 discovered by wife...how to placate?

Old 04-19-17, 10:46 PM
  #51  
wgscott
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I have a Rel subwoofer in a box in the garage that I impulse-bought on line last November when it was on sale for 1/2 price, but I haven't yet worked up the courage to bring it into the house.
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Old 04-19-17, 10:49 PM
  #52  
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Originally Posted by wgscott View Post
I have a Rel subwoofer in a box in the garage that I impulse-bought on line last November when it was on sale for 1/2 price, but I haven't yet worked up the courage to bring it into the house.
If the box is dusty enough when you bring it in, you can say you're reusing an "old" one from the garage.
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Old 04-20-17, 02:03 AM
  #53  
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Originally Posted by johngwheeler View Post
she-who-must-be-obeyed spotted the new bike.
There, you just said it all. Now go to her and ask her what you should do. Whatever she says, you obey.
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Old 04-20-17, 03:08 AM
  #54  
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I use the tactic of talking about the new bike I've spotted and really would like to add to my inventory until it makes her ears bleed. Sometimes it takes weeks, sometime month. But so far it has worked every time.
She knows I love to bike and that it is a huge stress reliever for me and my last bike (full suspension MTB) she even suggested I should just buy it and not just drool over it.

I am a lucky dude.
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Old 04-20-17, 04:41 AM
  #55  
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Originally Posted by TimothyH View Post
A resolution to stop lying to and hiding things from your wife is my suggestion.

OP has a fundamental problem in his relationship with his wife. It really isn't funny and I almost hope his wife sees this thread.


-Tim-
I'm going to agree 100% percent with @TimothyH here, and take it further. Assuming that the OP was written entirely in humor and that the offense wasn't that great against his wife, it still must be said that lying to your wife just isn't right. It's a sign of unhealthiness that will pervade other areas of the marriage. Better is to discuss what you want and why, and if the spouse "pours cold water" on an idea, then maybe it wasn't that great of an idea. If the two of you cannot find a workable solution, then try again another day. "Hiding" things from our wives isn't the answer.


And to the OP, maybe she'd appreciate your cleaning out that stuffed garage and selling some things, and giving away others. Might free up space and a few dollars to put toward your next project... Just a thought. PG
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Old 04-20-17, 04:49 AM
  #56  
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Busted! N+1 discovered by wife...how to placate?


Rowan would have to buy me a similar bicycle.
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Old 04-20-17, 05:20 AM
  #57  
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OP, do you know how I know that your story is more tongue-in-cheek? Because your new bike is a drastically different color than the old one. If you were really trying to hide this purchase, you would get the same color. To most non-cyclists all bikes look the same.


And I bet your wife isn't mad at all by now.
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Old 04-20-17, 05:59 AM
  #58  
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Get her into cycling. Worked for my SO! Lol.
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Old 04-20-17, 06:27 AM
  #59  
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Last crazy purchase I made, did not tell my wife about it... she calls me right when I am buying the thing (old, nib, lever espresso machine) that I drove two hours to pick it up. The conversation went something like this:

Me: Hi Vida!
Wife: Where are you?
Me: Why?
Wife: Because I was expecting you early and now I see via Find iPhone that you are in Ocala! What are you doing in Ocala??
Me: I am with the Mistress, can't talk right now. Let me call you in a few minutes
Wife: <Dead silence> so I hang up...

A few minutes later she calls (I can tell the tension in her voice)...
Wife: Where are you and what are you doing?
Me: Well honey... just buying this new in the box 1979 espresso lever machine that I could not pass up...
(I can hear the sound of relief)
Wife: Okay. Not sure why we need another espresso machine, but okay. We can talk when you get home. Drive safe.

She still does not know that I bought a bike... but she is getting there as she is starting to see the parts/boxes come in... so far it has been small boxes... wheels arrive today... lord have mercy on my soul... lol
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Old 04-20-17, 07:08 AM
  #60  
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Originally Posted by wgscott View Post
We killed three of those in a row. I had a Dyson graveyard in the garage. Dyson is to vacuums what Bose is to audio.
Poor Trek. Poor Bose. Can't get any love around here.

I've had a set of Bose speakers ran from a Harmon/Kardon amp for over 10 years now and they are still going strong and sound good enough for my ears.

Back to topic of the thread... I justify new bikes to my wife by application and/or need for a backup. My next purchase will be a Fat bike so I can ride in the snow. I already have two roads, gravel and two MTBs.
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Old 04-20-17, 07:16 AM
  #61  
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Do you have a friend with bills from cardiologists, heart surgeons, oncologists, etc? Show her some of those. Eat healthy, excercise, make bikes a part of your long term well being. If she's going to be a drag on your mental health, pull the handles on her ejection seat.
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Old 04-20-17, 07:21 AM
  #62  
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I love how our in house psychiatrists immediately clamp onto OP for his 'bad' ways.....and not wrong, per se...but what about the lack of support from the OP's SO?
In addition to being OPEN in a relationship, it is also of paramount importance to SUPPORT your SO in interests and activities they enjoy and are healthy, productive activities.

OP, I feel your pain. The wife and I went though a few years of this before we came to agreements about at what LEVEL it was ok to pursue that interest. In our books, if it wasn't making us want or be short on anything else then it was mostly open game. This has worked well for paintball and biking interests I have. She "sort of" shares the biking interest.....
Point being that IF I asked the wife about something and she put the poo poo on it, then it didn't matter WHAT I wanted or had to say about the matter any longer. At that point that she had closed HER mind about it, then I was in super deep **** if I went behind her back about it, regardless.

Sometimes you just got to sack up, and do what you want, and be ready to pay for it.
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Old 04-20-17, 07:22 AM
  #63  
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How to placate: jewelry. Gold and precious gemstones not some trinket. It works every time.
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Old 04-20-17, 07:27 AM
  #64  
Jim from Boston
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Originally Posted by wphamilton View Post
How to placate: jewelry. Gold and precious gemstones not some trinket. It works every time.
@wp, do you find yourself (often) in similar situations?
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Old 04-20-17, 07:30 AM
  #65  
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Originally Posted by Jim from Boston View Post
@wp, do you find yourself (often) in similar situations?
Naw, I'm so cheap that she practically begs me to buy stuff for myself. Then she gets jewelry, and all is good! It's bound to work for OP
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Old 04-20-17, 07:39 AM
  #66  
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Originally Posted by johngwheeler View Post
My OP was meant to be slightly tongue-in-cheek, but it does raise a serious question (apart from the imperfections of my married life), on how we juggle our interest / passion for cycling and bikes with a non-cycling partner or family.
Actually quite simple. Me and the fiancee contribute towards all the living/savings expenses at proportional amounts of our income, the rest of our income is ours to do with as we individually please. She doesn't have to sign off on me going out and dropping cash at the brew or bike shops (which she often finds to be a ridiculous waste), I don't have to sign off when she wants the latest cell phone as soon as she is eligible for an upgrade (which I find to be a ridiculous waste).
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Old 04-20-17, 07:43 AM
  #67  
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Seriously, how to handle the situation will depend on why the wife is objecting. Was it because the bike was bought with community funds, without her being consulted? Can the budget take the hit? Does she feel like you're getting all the toys? I agree, the problem started before the bike arrived.
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Old 04-20-17, 07:45 AM
  #68  
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I bought a couple of co2 cartridges yesterday. When I read this thread I decided to fess up.
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Old 04-20-17, 07:53 AM
  #69  
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Originally Posted by DomaneS5 View Post
Poor Trek. Poor Bose. Can't get any love around here.
Shouldn't it be "Poor Specialized", given their propensity to sue everyone?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bose_C...ed_States,_Inc.
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Old 04-20-17, 08:00 AM
  #70  
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Try to find an activity that your spouse likes to do and do it with her. Might help to show that you want to be more involved and bring you closer together. It doesn't have to be a sport. Just whatever she likes. Then maybe you can invite her for a short ride in the local park? She could see what you do and like as well. I feel your pain since my spouse also does not ride a bike. But I try to reserve that for family outings at the park with our son. Then I can bring out her dusty MTB out of the basement so it can see the light of day.
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Old 04-20-17, 08:02 AM
  #71  
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Originally Posted by jefnvk View Post
I don't have to sign off when she wants the latest cell phone as soon as she is eligible for an upgrade (which I find to be a ridiculous waste).
The latest and greatest smart phones are a huge waste, IMO. I have $100 Samsung Android phone that runs good and has a decent size screen, etc. When I see people blow tax refund money on the latest iPhone or Samsung Galaxy S8... or whatever phone costs $700+... I have to shake my head. At least bikes provide cardio exercise when used properly.
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Old 04-20-17, 08:17 AM
  #72  
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I learned from my first marriage.............in my second one we have separate accounts and my money is mine and her's is her's. Of course I pay all the bills with the exception of her personal bills like credit cards and such. As a result, I have had no financial issues in this marriage....other issues but not financial issues.
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Old 04-20-17, 08:17 AM
  #73  
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The problem is thinking that 2 bikes are too much. 10 bikes here, just getting by. Barely Some more openness might be good. I don't tell my other half everything but she does the bills. I commute about 2,000 bike miles per year, so some savings on gas and car use. She likes my sculpted legs too, so theres that. It is my sport, passion and hobby. No gym fees either. 110/78 for PB, damm good numbers there. And cheaper than therapy.
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Old 04-20-17, 08:20 AM
  #74  
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The first page of this thread is the funniest. it had such great potential until the "buzz killers" arrived.
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Old 04-20-17, 08:48 AM
  #75  
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Originally Posted by DomaneS5 View Post
The latest and greatest smart phones are a huge waste, IMO. I have $100 Samsung Android phone that runs good and has a decent size screen, etc. When I see people blow tax refund money on the latest iPhone or Samsung Galaxy S8... or whatever phone costs $700+... I have to shake my head. At least bikes provide cardio exercise when used properly.
I agree with you. I have a $150 Windows Phone I bought new and unlocked, and have a $45 MVNO cell plan with far more data than her far more expensive Verizon plan. That said, she doesn't agree, and our setup allows her to buy with her money what she wishes, and for me to buy my money with what I wish. Keeps the peace!
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