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Post a Lie about the poster above - Volume 2

Old 01-14-18, 05:26 PM
  #10501  
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Thinks that haggis is a gathering of ugly women.
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Old 01-14-18, 10:52 PM
  #10502  
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Was banned from 7 Eleven by an ugly woman when he tried to return some haggis.
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Old 01-15-18, 05:59 AM
  #10503  
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Caused a panic at his local 7 Eleven the other day when he asked for ice.
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Old 01-15-18, 09:27 AM
  #10504  
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Being a quick learner, he now wears his nostalgia Ice, Ice , Baby tee shirt to his favorite Seven Elevens for shorter lines or to do his preferred self checkout.
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Old 01-15-18, 10:27 AM
  #10505  
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Wonders when it's going to quit snowing.
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Old 01-15-18, 10:31 AM
  #10506  
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Is constantly concerned about being out of the fruit loop.
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Old 01-16-18, 06:57 AM
  #10507  
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Will kill for cereal.
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Old 01-16-18, 09:55 AM
  #10508  
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While removing his "does this include my senior discount" hat that covers up most of his hair loss while waiting for the earlybird special to arrive at his favorite Denny's he realized he had no idea when he'd quit being an excitable boy and became a crotchety old fart. And he didn't care when that happened, he just wished the waitress would hurry up with his order so he could get home before dark.

Last edited by no motor?; 01-16-18 at 10:03 AM.
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Old 01-16-18, 10:53 PM
  #10509  
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Still thinks that this thread is to tell the truth about the poster above.
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Old 01-17-18, 12:59 PM
  #10510  
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All of his conversations are limited to two-syllable words.
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Old 01-17-18, 03:57 PM
  #10511  
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Uses sign language when he talks to himself.
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Old 01-18-18, 08:05 AM
  #10512  
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With all his multiple personalities, he is constantly exceeding 140 characters.
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Old 01-18-18, 03:27 PM
  #10513  
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Is always called on the chip in for all those extra donuts.
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Old 01-19-18, 01:11 PM
  #10514  
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His idea for a new Ben & Jerry's flavor...Call of Dooty...the jury's still out.
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Old 01-19-18, 08:39 PM
  #10515  
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Is trying to open his very own pizza chain, and thought that the Clintons would be receptive in partnering with him, but he is starting to think that the Ben and Ghazi's name might be a sticking point.
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Old 01-20-18, 05:09 PM
  #10516  
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Is trying to open a pizza box and having a very hard time.
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Old 01-20-18, 11:47 PM
  #10517  
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Saw that glue sticks were on sale at Staples last week.
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Old 01-21-18, 07:41 AM
  #10518  
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Tries to get high sniffing glue sticks.
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Old 01-21-18, 09:49 AM
  #10519  
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His wife saw that the Staples glue sticks were on sale as well, now he has to stand with one leg in the toilet.
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Old 01-21-18, 10:07 AM
  #10520  
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His identical twin does all the lying. He does all the denying.
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Old 01-21-18, 10:43 AM
  #10521  
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Annoyed at his lack of success teaching his pet cockroaches to sit up and beg, he has had limited success teaching them to roll over and play dead.

"I use the can of Raid® as a teaching aid and it works pretty good after a while." he told Gregor Samsa, feature editor for Pet Pest Fancier. "They're pretty slow learners, but I'm patient and there's a whole lot of them."
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Old 01-21-18, 07:54 PM
  #10522  
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Is a firm believer in the power of positive drinking.
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Old 01-21-18, 08:05 PM
  #10523  
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Needs a wheelchair accessible 12 step program.
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Old 01-21-18, 08:12 PM
  #10524  
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Believes the funding will be there for the lift.
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Old 01-21-18, 08:51 PM
  #10525  
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Likes being treated like a king by his locker room buddies, and in that they regularly give him a royal lift.
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