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help! i don't get what women want!

Old 10-08-05, 05:49 PM
  #51  
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i used to buy an x tools and that, as we both shared my other great passion, car's she used to like getting her hands dirty, doing the mods.
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Old 10-08-05, 06:32 PM
  #52  
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Originally Posted by lauren

Nothing says "commitment" like a lifetime warranty from Craftsman.
my bf gave me a cordless drill for my birthday last year; he thought i was crazy for asking for one, but got it for me anyway. we are no longer dating....shall i send him your way?
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Old 10-08-05, 06:34 PM
  #53  
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Originally Posted by chipcom
Here's a good example of a no-no - talks like an intelligent, non-pig, human - then the word 'chic' comes tumbling out.
Originally Posted by Nicodemus
I was just going along wondering "what's he saying?" when that also slapped me in the face. Glad you noticed as well
Heh, heh... it's good to be unpredictable. It's a sick and twisted aspect of human-nature that we don't value what comes easily or cheaply. Imagine you spent 3-summers working to save up for your dream bike. You finally buy it and it's the happiest day of your life. You spend hours cleaning and polishing it between rides. You lovingly tune and adjust it to work to perfection. Then your grandma gives you the exact same bike for your birthday. When the hurricane hits and you have to flee by bike because of the congested traffic, which bike do you think you're gonna take? The one you got for free? Or the one that you've put your blood, sweat and tears into? Which one do you deem to be more "valuable"?

That's the same lesson that Turbonium learned. If you dote and pursue and "be there" all the time with a chic, there's no challenge, she's gonna think you're "nice" and want to be your "friend". While her true pursuits will be with someone who's being distant and aloof, making her do the chasing. Like what he found out with the ones he's no longer interested in, now they're chasing him!

This brings up a point that I alluded to earlier, relationships evolve and develop over time, it's not static and you can't immediately jump into an everlasting marriage with bliss & happiness forever and after right away. It's something that you build and create between the two of you, it's not an automatic thing that "just happens", regardless of what Hollywood tells you. It takes time, it takes communicating your ideas and values, it takes being committed to a future together. So the general evolution of a relationship tends to happen in stages:

1. primal/animalistic physical/sexual attraction
2. curiosity and inquisitiveness, common interests, getting to know you
3. fun, lightheartedness, humor, excitement, sex and dating
4. trust, respect, dependability, commitments (takes communications and time, can't speed this up)
5. future planning, negotiations, developing into a "we" and "us" stage
6. implementing future plans, i.e. exclusive relationship, marriage, kids, retirement, etc.
7. fine-tuning/changing future plans, re-committing to shared goals, go back to #6 as necessary

What you need to do and who you need to be at each stage will be different. Some characteristics appear to be mutually exclusive, such as being a flighty playboy vs. a nurturing supportive mate, but those personalites exist in everyone at one stage or another of their lives. And those characters are also most effective for certain stages of a relationship as well.

If you're a sappy, lovey-dovey guy in the beginning when you first meet a girl, she's gonna think you're kinda creepy, sticky, clingy and suffocating. Sure that may be beneficial later, but you won't ever even get that first date much less a 2nd one if you don't turn her on and have her feel "attracted" to you in the beginning. How many times have you heard girls talk about guys they've gone out with and for all intents and purposes, the pairing is perfect; they have common goals, similar values, enjoy the same past-times, but she just wasn't "attracted" to him? Most likely he was being way too easy and not much of a challenge. How often do you pursue a relationship with a woman who slept with you the 1st night you met?

Which brings up "what do women want"? Well, the girls have already said they don't always know what they want; and it changes as well. A lot of times, it's just to have fun, enjoy themselves in the moment, and feel good about life. What it takes to provide that will be different with each one. Again, you have to be observant, flexible, resourceful and responsive to your mate. All I'm saying is to take a more active involvement in your relationships and life. Be intentional, write down birthdays, anniversaries, her parent's birthdays and actively be aware of the special events in her life. If you're going to take her out on a date (so passé), then be aware of the kinds of foods she likes, what kinds of movies/shows she likes, etc. The "I don't know, what do you want to do?" thing gets old. Being assertive and confident reaps tonnes of bonuses, don't be a wimp!


Actually, I'm not usually so analytical, I've spent enough years studying and learning this stuff through lots of trial & error and heartaches. Now I just like to have fun and the "chics" dig it. It's NOT a derogatory term, get with the times! Most of the girls I know use this term to talk about themselves, it's a very SoCal thing where the limits of social interactions and behavior are constantly being pushed and evolved to new bounds (not all of it good). Oh yea, doing things with a lot of different ladies definitely makes you more desirable in all their eyes. Some fun stuff I do all the time:

- Happy Hours and hitting the clubs, and house parties.
- throw a valentine's Day party and invite the ladies
- throw a birthday party for your buddy and take everyone on a salsa-club tour of S.F.
- throw a Christmas party and invite the ladies, and some chics, and some chicas.
- so your girlfriend won't get jealous when you throw a "friend" a B-day party, make it a combo New Years/Birthday party
- take other "friends" to a concert.
- help your "friends" break into the modeling biz by taking some photos: 1, 2, 3, 4 for her portfolio.

There's so many ways to have fun, don't worry about "dating" so much.

Last edited by DannoXYZ; 12-13-05 at 04:59 PM.
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Old 10-08-05, 06:54 PM
  #54  
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Originally Posted by DannoXYZ
Actually, I'm not usually so analytical, I've spent enough years studying and learning this stuff through lots of trial & error and heartaches.
Dude, I gotta ask...how old are you?
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Old 10-08-05, 07:24 PM
  #55  
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Originally Posted by Turbonium
ok here is the story made short...
i asked a girl out, she said just to be friends. then she does not act like just friends. but now, the whole past week she been wanting to play sports after school with my friend! and next week she wants to do some yoga! like she is suddenly went from being minimal friends to lets hang out all the time! my feelings for her hasn't changed and i don't know what to do..
Ummmm... cause that's what friends do? She said she wants to be friends, and it sounds like she's asking to hang. What do you think friends do if they aren't hangin'?

It seems pretty loud and clear, man.

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Old 10-08-05, 07:33 PM
  #56  
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Here's my opinion as a clueless 17 year old male, women want different things. To me, the ladder theory just describes the type of women you should try and avoid.

Now if you'll excuse me I'm off to masturbate alone.
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Old 10-08-05, 07:59 PM
  #57  
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Originally Posted by Turbonium
ok here is the story made short...
i asked a girl out, she said just to be friends. then she does not act like just friends. but now, the whole past week she been wanting to play sports after school with my friend! and next week she wants to do some yoga! like she is suddenly went from being minimal friends to lets hang out all the time! my feelings for her hasn't changed and i don't know what to do..
OK, I am going to do something I don't do much in here - be serious...mostly.

Dude, don't let your 'feelings' get in the way of a perfectly good friendship. You might think them feelings are from the heart, but trust me, that ain't where they are coming from. I have probably fallen in love with every woman I have ever known that I was physically attracted too...more accurately, it's called falling in 'lust'. Them feelings you have are not the feelings you are going to find in that special someone who you WILL meet someday. Those feelings come from all the things you do as friends, cuz you will be best friends.

Let me ask you this - isn't it better to hang out and have fun with this gal, appreciating each and every moment you get to be with her, rather than not spending time with her just cuz you have feelings? Ain't that kinda like not riding your bike because it's such a kickass ride? Ride that girl...err...bike, amigo, you never know where the ride is gonna take you and you sure as hell don't want to miss any part of it. Quit worrying about what you ain't got and appreciate what you got.
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Old 10-08-05, 08:10 PM
  #58  
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That fat dude's gotta have a 12" pecker and 10 zeroes in his bank account. Or is it a 10" pecker and 12 zeroes in his bank acoount?

Get the girl drunk and see what happens. If it doesn't work, get her drunk again. Repeat until desired outcome is achieved. Don't make her so drunk she throws up and you end up holding her hair out of her face all night. Don't get her so drunk she falls asleep. Just get her drunk enough to talk about sex openly and happily. Don't get yourself so drunk you get sick or can't perform. This may take a few times to get right.
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Old 10-08-05, 08:16 PM
  #59  
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Originally Posted by lauren
Nah, I want someone that gets excited at the thought of buying a drill . Maybe I should wait in front of the Weber display at Home depot hehe.
First thing that jumped into my mind reading this was Bill Murray going to the dentist (Steve Martin) in 'Little Shop of Horrors'.
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Old 10-08-05, 08:46 PM
  #60  
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Urmmmm... weberrrr....

You can imagine its sleekness in your mind's eye even before you arrive. The wide sturdy strong base, heavy and solid as a rock... You feel a certain uneasiness low down in the pit of your belly as you round the corner and see it... sitting there quietly... confidently sure of itself. As you approach slowly... carefully... your vision narrows until it's all that you see... the surrounding sounds quiet down to a murmur... it's just the two of you now... face-to-face...

Just imagine the coolness of the flawlessly smooth... stainless steel surface... as you slide your hands along its sleek sides... You gently cup the gentle curves at the top of lid as you push it up... A silent >click< greets you as the lid falls away and your heart pauses... it skips a beat... then races as your tension and anxiety builds in anticipation of what you'll find underneath...

Ahhh.... the warm golden sunset glistens off the shiny exposed grill... hardly thick enough to provide any cover to the powerfully potent set of 4 burners lurking in the shadows below... You can sense their danger, their 44,000 BTUs of heat just waiting to be unleashed... Your hands reach forward tenatively.... shaking nervously... as you take aim....

The RED BUTTON fights your touch.... you push a little harder... harder still... it won't budge! With a final lunging shove you push it home with a solid CLACK! Ahhh... psffhhttt... and the threatening burners roars to life and you jump back in surprize... feeling a soft brief caress from the hot searing flames across your cheek....

Weber Platinum C4...

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Old 10-08-05, 09:19 PM
  #61  
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Originally Posted by lauren
Ahh, yes. The warmth welcomes you as your eyes dance across the powerful flame. Down the lid goes, and you rush inside to get your offerings. Today you give the grill two new york strip steaks.

You use tongs to place them gently on the now heated grate. The grill makes then sizzle and your heart races in delight. The grill is happy with your choice. You close the lid again and wait for the grill to work it's magic. Then, slowly, you open the top and peer at the steaks. Carefully you lift a corner, then commence the turning ritual. Again, sizzles tell you that you have done well.

After another anxious wait, you gently remove the steak, hoping that the grill is done. A quick check shows you that you have done well - medium rare. You remove the remaining steak, and move your hand below the grill. You gently caress the tank's knob, and thank the flames one last time for their transformation. Then you slowly, deliberately turn the knob, until the flames rest, lying in wait and anticipation of your next offering. You notice that it is almost time for another ritual, the propant tank exchange. The things we must do to keep out grills happy.
mmm, grill porn
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Old 10-08-05, 09:22 PM
  #62  
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.... you can see that it's a race... who's going to finish first! The sizzing, popping steaks protest ever so gently as you shove them closer to gather them around the remaining flames... You feel your legs and throat tighten up as you see the pressure-gauge drop ever so lightly... You reach out and firmly grab the knob on the tank and give it a firm twist... full-pressure! The needle perk up and you see the flames growing in response... just a couple more seconds.... a little more... you're almost there... The anticipation's almost unbearable as you see the needle flicker down ever so slightly... You squeeze the tongs tighter.. feeling your nails bite into your palms... the pain yearning against the heat coming from the grill... POP!!! The thermometer signals the steaks are DONE! Ahh.... you relax and feel the tension release... the race's over... you've won...

... as you gingerly carry in your plate... you can hear the clicks and ticks as the weberrrr settles down after its work, fully spent after giving its all. The intoxicating sweet scent from the steaks gently waft up and you feel it penetrating deeply into your nose and reach far up to the nether reaches of your brain... AAhhhhh.... You hold your breath... it's too much... too soon... you're not ready yet... The dark, deep juices swirling around the edges of the steaks... in perfect rhythm to your footsteps like a dance that knows how to hold you and lead you exactly where you want to go... you give up and take another deep breath... feeling your nostrils spread out fully to take in the full richness of the delights awaiting you...

As you set the heavily loaded platter on the counter... you see the juices just bursting out of the plump fat slices... they jiggle just a titillating amount on impact... You reach out deftly to the butcher block without taking your eyes off the oozing glistening stack... noticing the crispy burnt edges calling to you hungrily...

The 12" knife slides gently out of the block... a soft and comforting swissshhh you felt more than heard. It triggers a familiar tightness in the back of your jaw... a teasing tension you've felt numerous times before... you feel the edges of your tongue getting wet in anticipation... The light glances off the blade with sinister efficiency...Your fingers wrap tightly around the smooth handle... You strongly pierce the steak in place... the tips of the fork causing a depression in the surface that quickly fills up with the dark juices... You feel your mouth drip in anticipation even more and your jaw muscles instinctively tighten up... the tension builds tighter... and stronger... you can literally taste the sweet nectar on your eager tongue at a distance....

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Old 10-09-05, 07:59 AM
  #63  
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I think we have a match. Danno, get thee to North Carolina.
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Old 10-09-05, 09:42 AM
  #64  
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Turbonium, I always found that when I was single and in your situation, masturbating while crying in the corner seemed to help.
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Old 10-09-05, 09:44 AM
  #65  
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Is love really the answer to what you're thinking about? Personally, I think it diminishes at times, it all depends on your mood. If you want to "date" someone, I think the term "meeting with a friend" is better. Say you want to be engaged in a relationship, do you want her for her looks (answer TRUTHFULLY, think it out) or do you like her as a friend (mentally, does she REALLY suit you? Do you sort of...put on an act to cause her to like you? Do you have to rethink all of your choices when youre around her?) Many a time I've realized I only like a girl for her looks, I accomodate to be as nice to her as possible, but that's faking yourself. Wouldn't you rather be yourself and have a best friend as your partner for life?

Sometimes we wake up and think...what is love? Is it your dependance to be with a person because you think of them as a best friend in everyway? Quite possibly. Personally, I'd rather have a good friend as a partner (I do a lot of thinking in my spare time, and 14 is too young for a partner in my honest opnion. I just think of these things sometimes, my mind wanders).

The only thing that conflicts with my statement is if you're heterosexual and all your best friends are males. I'd have no problem waking up in another bed with my best friend in the other bed accross from the room. In the end, I think we are still driven by sex, and love is just a term created by humans to give an excuse to reproduce or have sex for pleasure. A real partner should be a best friend, connected emotionally. A best friend knows you best.
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Old 10-09-05, 10:40 AM
  #66  
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(wow, this is what I get coming into the thread four pages late, too many things to respond to!)

re: pic of large man and petite thong-wearing girl. I'm reminded of a saying I once heard, "A man falls in love with who he's attracted to; a woman becomes attracted to who she falls in love with." In other words, the guy might have the right combo of charm, wit, humor, and confidence to keep her mentally stimulated. It may be simply that he had the balls to actually talk to the girl. Or he owns a couple learjets. Or she's paid company. As another old saying goes: "No matter how hot she is, someone somewhere is sick of her sh*t"


Originally Posted by lauren
A quick check shows you that you have done well - medium rare
Sadly, my dear, this is why we won't work out. You take a perfect culinary instrument and then ruin the meat by cooking it medium rare?! Make mine rare, please. If I have to chase it around the plate, even better.


And to the OP: Women want to be wanted, but they need to chase. Makes for a very touchy dance along a very fine line. It can be exciting and exhausting all at once. The trick? There is no trick. Wash, rise, repeat until you find someone that sees the world pretty much as you do, and excites you more than exhausts you.
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Old 10-09-05, 11:02 AM
  #67  
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Sounds like yer coming around then. All in good time, my pet, all in good time....
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Old 10-09-05, 02:50 PM
  #68  
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Well, canines are carnivores, so they would in theory eat meat from an animal they killed, so raw meat does make sense.
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Old 10-09-05, 03:01 PM
  #69  
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We do also. Fresh raw meat is the most nutritious. Cooking and refrigeration is only a way of preserving and using meat long-term away from the fresh-kill. As we specialized into narrowly-focuses jobs in society, distances and time got greater and more wide-spread. Thus it was no longer feasible to eat meat raw anymore, because it was no longer fresh. Spices and salts for preservation developed and cooking was a way to ensure safe preparation. A lot of the tasty sauces from various nations was a way to hide the smells and tastes of rotten meat. The advent of refridgeration allowed us to preserve meats in more pristine ways than before, however the practice of cooking using sauces and spices still carried on. Back when i was a carnivore, I still thought gnawing on a fresh warm bloodly slice of meat off the wild game as it still quivered and twitched on the ground was the best!

BTW - liqueurs and mixed drinks were developed as a way to mask the cheap, low-quality booze that was created during the Prohibition era. Nowadays with high-quality gin, whiskey, vodka, tequila, etc, there's really no need to cut it with liqueurs, which tastes way too sweet and smooth. You can still use them with paint-thinner if you want.
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Old 10-09-05, 03:46 PM
  #70  
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Originally Posted by superdex
(wow, this is what I get coming into the thread four pages late, too many things to respond to!)

re: pic of large man and petite thong-wearing girl. I'm reminded of a saying I once heard, "A man falls in love with who he's attracted to; a woman becomes attracted to who she falls in love with." In other words, the guy might have the right combo of charm, wit, humor, and confidence to keep her mentally stimulated. It may be simply that he had the balls to actually talk to the girl. Or he owns a couple learjets. Or she's paid company. As another old saying goes: "No matter how hot she is, someone somewhere is sick of her sh*t"


Sadly, my dear, this is why we won't work out. You take a perfect culinary instrument and then ruin the meat by cooking it medium rare?! Make mine rare, please. If I have to chase it around the plate, even better.

And to the OP: Women want to be wanted, but they need to chase. Makes for a very touchy dance along a very fine line. It can be exciting and exhausting all at once. The trick? There is no trick. Wash, rise, repeat until you find someone that sees the world pretty much as you do, and excites you more than exhausts you.
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Old 10-09-05, 04:50 PM
  #71  
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Well, some women are hard to read, so just ask them what they want. If you were to ask me what I want, I would tell you straight out - I want to go back in time 13 days, to September 26th.

Simple.

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Old 10-09-05, 04:58 PM
  #72  
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Originally Posted by MsVicki
Well, some women are hard to read, so just ask them what they want. If you were to ask me what I want, I would tell you straight out - I want to go back in time 13 days, to September 26th.

Simple.

OK, I'll bite. Why September 26th?
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Old 10-09-05, 05:50 PM
  #73  
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Originally Posted by MsVicki
Well, some women are hard to read, so just ask them what they want. If you were to ask me what I want, I would tell you straight out - I want to go back in time 13 days, to September 26th.

Simple.

Maybe it's time we got back to the basics of love...

Let's go to Luckenbach Texas with Waylon and Willie and the boys
This successful life we're livin' got us fueding
like the Hatfield and McCoys
Between Hank Williams pain songs, Newberry's train songs
and blue eyes cryin' in the rain out in Luckenbach Texas
ain't nobody feelin' no pain
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Old 10-09-05, 06:32 PM
  #74  
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All women really want is to lull you into letting your defences down. Then when you're least expecting it they sneak up behind you and bash your head in with a brick or crowbar or, in rare occasion, their own fists. Then they eat your brains with a spoon. Seriously.

You can have a meaningful LTR with a woman without your brains being devoured. But this entails you going out, at least once a week, to bash and scoop some innocent sap (innocent brains taste the best) and leave said brains in a bowl in the fridge. Then they'll go the easier route and eat the brains in the fridge instead of going after yours. But you gotta be diligent. When they get the cravin' there ain't no stoppin' it.

Just remember, if things get too bad, a bullet to the head will drop her. Nothing else will. Then you have to burn the corpse. And DON'T LET HER BITE YOU! Seriously.
 
Old 10-09-05, 08:37 PM
  #75  
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Originally Posted by MsVicki
Well, some women are hard to read, so just ask them what they want. If you were to ask me what I want, I would tell you straight out - I want to go back in time 13 days, to September 26th.

Simple.

Simple, indeed!! If I could build a time machine, I would do it. Then anyone could go back in time to erase bad things, correct mistakes, or win a lottery. I would be rich!! Heck, we all would be!!
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