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Post a Lie about the poster above - Volume 2

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Post a Lie about the poster above - Volume 2

Old 12-05-20, 07:45 PM
  #14976  
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Spending Saturday night bonding with his couch, watching wrestling on the tube and squirting Cheez Whiz directly from the can into his lying mouth.
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Old 12-05-20, 09:48 PM
  #14977  
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...his early 1950's experiments using Cheez Whiz, directly from the can, as a bonding agent, led to the modern family of epoxy adhesives we all take for granted now.
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Old 12-05-20, 11:31 PM
  #14978  
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UPS told its drivers to stop picking up his lies since he reached capacity allocations set by the delivery company.
So for now, all you'll get from him is 100% truthiness.
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Old 12-06-20, 12:19 AM
  #14979  
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Used to invent intricate lies with evidence to corroborate them. Now he just makes them up on the fly.
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Originally Posted by bragi "However, it's never a good idea to overgeneralize."
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Old 12-06-20, 07:53 AM
  #14980  
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The only evidence he leaves is in his under shorts, and that, dear friends, is behind the fly.
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Old 12-06-20, 09:26 AM
  #14981  
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Would be wondering if wearing long underwear is like wearing pants if he lived somewhere where the family had more than 1 set of teeth amongst the group.
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Old 12-06-20, 09:58 AM
  #14982  
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Was run out of Possum Holler when it was discovered that he was the only person in town that had a teeth brush.
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Old 12-06-20, 10:45 AM
  #14983  
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...he has sent in his request to the Make a Wish foundation. He wants nothing for himself, only that the family get a new set of teeth to share after he's gone. Hoping to go viral if it hits the local evening news on WHUT, the one TV station that still broadcasts in his location.
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Old 12-06-20, 11:07 AM
  #14984  
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Has 5 tooth brushes; 1 for each tooth.
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Old 12-06-20, 11:23 AM
  #14985  
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Doesn't worry about flossing as his 2 teeth aren't next to each other.
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Old 12-07-20, 05:55 AM
  #14986  
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When I bared my fearsome teeth he peed in his pantslessness.
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Old 12-07-20, 07:58 AM
  #14987  
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Couldn't handle the marsupial lifestyle.
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Old 12-07-20, 10:05 AM
  #14988  
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...he has shortened all the handles on his tools and kitchen implements to fit his smaller, three fingered hands.
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Old 12-07-20, 03:36 PM
  #14989  
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Is the only one who believes Ahsposo when he says he's "san-culottes" as a means of expressing his solidarity with the common man instead of being just another pantsless drooling weirdo.
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Old 12-07-20, 04:30 PM
  #14990  
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Is claiming to be smarter than my avatar; the New York Times, Fox News and the Washington Post all say "Fake news".
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Old 12-07-20, 08:11 PM
  #14991  
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...he only adopted his new, bag of hammers avatar, because he knew that it would mean there are many people dumber than him.
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Old 12-07-20, 10:09 PM
  #14992  
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Demanded multiple recounts when he was beat out by a box of hammers in his quest to be elected as the local dog catcher.
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Old 12-07-20, 11:30 PM
  #14993  
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...he's proud of the fact that he's a real, hard working American. Just another hammer in the bag we call, "America Great Again !!"
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Old 12-08-20, 04:58 AM
  #14994  
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Keeps insisting "That's Kraw Hammel! Not Kraw Hammel!"...

Last edited by ahsposo; 12-08-20 at 06:27 AM. Reason: speling
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Old 12-08-20, 11:27 PM
  #14995  
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Is the secret love child of Sister Sledge and Mike Hammer.
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Old 12-09-20, 01:57 AM
  #14996  
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...if he had a hammer, he'd hammer in the morning. For about 45 minutes, then he would break for coffee, take a long lunch, return for another 20 minutes of hammering right before quitting time at 5, and punch out.
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Old 12-09-20, 03:30 PM
  #14997  
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Wants to be M C Hammer.
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Old 12-09-20, 05:16 PM
  #14998  
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...still has the Hammer pants he bought in 1990 when "You Can't Touch This" was playing nonstop on the radio. They are in the original packaging, tightly sealed, with all the tags on them....never worn.
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Old 12-09-20, 05:31 PM
  #14999  
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Likes a nice tight seal...
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Old 12-09-20, 09:20 PM
  #15000  
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...he can't touch this.
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