alan s 

Nothing scary or funny I can think of. Just thought we needed another thread for those who feel left out.

Bassmanbob

I’ve done one, two-day tour with my dog. Nothing notable happened. I’m planning a solo three day “commute” to a professional conference in January on my bike. So that will be my second tour. My wife will drive there for the weekend and drive me home, so I’m not expecting anything notable either.

saddlesores

i was touring out in the middle of nowhere in late july, i think it was maybe somewhere in the sonoran dessert. i'd been riding all day long, it was hot....extreme hot, 105 degrees in the shade.... and i was really thirsty despite drinking literally gallons of water.

i had no cell phone, no gps, no way to pinpoint my location other than with paper maps. help, if needed, was a hundred miles away. this was empty rangeland, no farm buildings, discounting a few dilapidated collapsing sheds, and had only seen a few rusty pickups go by all day.

as i was cruising along, i went over one of those cattle guards, you know the ones......there's a concrete pit crossing below the road with some 4-inch steel pipes lying over it to keep the cows inside the fenced areas. yeah, the ones that some silly congressman said was gonna be put out of work due to ranch foreclosures a decade or two ago.

well, anyway, as i was rolling over the pipes, probably at about 15mph, i didn't hear any sounds out of the ordinary coming from my rear wheel.

anyway, after another hour or so i stopped and set up camp.

mstateglfr 

Ill play!

I did a weekend trip with my kids recently. We set up tents in a river valley and the next morning our tents were soaked even though it hadnt rained. We dried the tents out later that day without issue.

dgodave

I recall an afternoon touring when I got hungry and couldnt find a store or restaurant so I had to eat a Clif Bar.

Happy Feet

Well.. just this weekend I did a little over nighter to Gabriola island. I never carry cash but looked online and saw the campsite was $17 so I stopped at the cash machine to get a twenty as many campsites don't take visa. After a days riding i arrived at camp and saw it was self registration but the fee was $25! What to do? I put the twenty in the envelope and prepared my defense for the staff but no one ever came round. I cannot determine if I spent a bit too little or a bit too much.

indyfabz

More times than I can remember. I did miss a turn yesterday. Doubled back and asked a local for directions. He kindly gave them to me. Then I got delayed by a long unit coal train. Wondering now if it was a conspiracy. 😀

stardognine

Don't feel bad, kids, I had to stop for a red light yesterday. 🙄😉

indyfabz

I had to stop for flashers.

dualresponse

Since I started the funny thread, I feel a little guilty. Here's my story. I was riding my bike up a local mountain. It's a gravel road with at least 20% gradients. It's very steep, and puts you into pretty much a gasping for breath anaerobic frenzy just trying to stay upright. As I ascend, grasping for every last bit of traction and breath, trying to keep momentum up not to spin out on the gravel washboard- the unthinkable happens. Down the mountain comes a work truck, from a work site, carrying a full (needing to be emptied) Porta-John. This is a single lane road btw. This required me and my touring bike to pull into the ditch on the side of the road and power through some messy rocks/debri, requiring more power. This put me in a full anearobic 3 mph effort. As this mass of porta-john descended upon me, I was (concerned- not scared) it would break loose and fall on me. It didn't- but as it passed, on the washboard bouncing gravel road, it was very evident, the full porta john was full, and splashing it's contents all over the inside itself as it bounced by (you could hear sloshing sounds). Undetered, and trying not to visualize the inside of the churning porta john, I kept climbing, but was immediately covered in a vacuum of 100% porta- John fumes. Since I was breathing at maximum capacity trying not to pass out, keeping traction on the incline not to spin out, I needed every molecule of oxygen I could get. The oxygen was gone, and might as well have been methane. I stopped dead in my tracks and started dry heaving. Although I find it funny now, I didn't at the time (Ok- I did), therefore, this experience was neither scary, nor funny (well maybe to my wife, or others, or me now, but not then (actually even then)- and, they weren't there) so it doesn't qualify under this thread. Sort of. Not really-O.K. sorry. So there.

djb

I never commented on how this made me chuckle.
There, now I have....

ortliebsforever

Back in the day nobody rode hwy 101 thru Forks, WA. In those days the locals celebrated James Watt appreciation day. The decades of logging destruction were coming to an end (spotted owl controversy) and the rednecks were afraid that they would run out of beer money. Cyclists were seen as tree-huggers.


Ya, I rode the route, fully loaded, headed for California one year. Too bad 101 has been re-paved several times since then. The mini-crater left in the pavement from the 1/4 stick of TNT that was thrown at me would still be there.


But I could tell you many stories from decades of touring and the majority are uplifting and inspiring. So many good people out there. You had to tour on a bike in the 70's and '80s to appreciate the difference then to the loud, manic traffic today on the Pacific Coast route (or any other route in the US).


Today, Forks welcomes tourists of all kinds. So take a ride on the Olympic Peninsula and try not to look too far past the 'leave strips' along the highway that mask the clearcuts. Hwy. 101 is quite safe with wide shoulders. Bypass the highway around Lake Crescent by using the Spruce Trail on the opposite side of the lake. You might have to walk a bit if you have skinny tires, but it's gorgeous. Also take advantage of the Larry Scott Trail out of Port Townsend (my home) as well as the completed portions of the Discovery Trail that parallels 101 into Port Angeles. But the shoulder on 101 is great, and the trail has it's ups and downs. So most loaded bikes use the highway.


The ride south to the Astoria bridge is good fun. The bridge? Not so fun. I call it 'The Beast.' Back in the day (yes, I'm old) they charged you fifty cents to cross the bridge on a bike. Today you can take your bags off and put your bike on a county bus bike rack and not have to endure the stress of four miles of very narrow bridge into Astoria.

alan s 

I was riding south today along the Oregon Coast. At Neskowin, I took the alternate route recommended by ODOT, and in contrast to the 101, there was almost no one around. At some point, literally the only vehicle, a pickup truck, approached from behind and passed me as I slowly climbed the hill. A couple minutes later, I saw the truck on the side of the road. As I approached the truck, the engine started, but I continued on. As I passed the truck, a bearded man looked at me and said hey. I said hey back, and rode on. A few seconds later, he passed me and headed up the road. That was the last I saw of him.

ortliebsforever

That little section of Forest Service road is actually in a pretty nice rural community. All the men have beards and pickup trucks, and everyone there has been seeing loaded bicylces for a very long time on that section of road.

Not that there can't be crazy people driving around that you want to avoid, but in all the years I've rode that section instead of getting blasted by big-rigs on 101 as they struggle up the Cape, I've always enjoyed the ride.

It's easy to get freaked out in places where you've never been before.

Try this on for size:

In the summer of '84 I was crossing Northern California from Arcata to Shasta, then from there over to hwy395 and eventually into in Nevada. I asked directions from a farmer, hoping he could give me a route over some mountains so I could avoid pavement. The route turned out to lead to a very old fireroad that's never used. There are two mountain passes to climb. Coasting down the extremely narrow dirt path after the second pass there was vertical cliff on one side, and vertical drop on the other. The trail was about six feet wide.

I came around a curve to face an enormous timber rattler sunning him/her self by stretching across the trail. This sucker was huge. The width of the jaws was as wide as my closed fist.

I skidded to a stop before mangling the monster in my wheels. We looked at each other for a minute or so until the creature decided to crawl off over the cliff. Whew! I thought, as I clipped into my right pedal to go on my way. Then I found out something was wrong. I looked down and my rear tire was flat. I had to tear the bags off, get out the tools and fix the flat on that narrow stretch of trail while imagining all the monster rattlers ready to surround me.

My fears were not far off - I camped that evening at Castle Crags State Park (close to Intersate 5). In the ranger's office are huge glass jars full of pickled timber rattler heads. They also had bare skulls displayed on shelves. The ranger listened to my story then confirmed my suspicion. That particular area grows the largest timber rattlers in California.

That backcountry cutoff that I used turned out to be a great ride, though. If I'd been Crocodile Dundee I'd have had a feast for dinner.

For anyone savvy, yes, I was headed to the '84 Rainbow Gathering held in the mountains east of the little town of Likely on hwy395. That was the largest gathering ever. It was historic. I hung around for half the summer helping with cleanup. Then ended up heading down the moutain into Nevada and south to Reno. Did I ever mention that I hate cities? By the way, the ride south from Cedarville to Reno is a real kick - all dry lake desert. Carry water!

indyfabz

I am planning a long weekend trip starting Friday. Hoping to see a friendly kitty that lives at a farm stand I will pass along the way. She's really sweet. I'll let you know if I do.

stardognine

I'm riding South on AZ route 95 this morning. This is the section called the Mohave Valley. I always carry plenty of water or pop, of course, but this morning, I bought a 1/2 gallon of chocolate milk, too.

It didn't go bad on me, but I did get a tummy-ache, from drinking too much chocolate milk. This really happened. 😲😉

Erick L

Me, myself and I went to a bar. I had three beers.

saddlesores

sorry, soldier, you are a no-go at this station!

the point of this useless thread is to mock all the other useless threads by being even uselessfuller.

you came upon a scary snake, and then you had a flat. these are things that happened.

to pass this station, you would have NOT seen a snake, and then NOT gotten a flat.

for your sins, you shall be temporarily reassigned to remedial sarcasm classes.

carry on.

ortliebsforever

Too many words for you? Is that it?

I've got a slew of snake stories. I categorize them first by 'rattles' or 'no rattles.' The 'no rattles' category is then broken up into subcategories such as 'coral snakes' and others. I'd throw in a coral snake story but it has girls in it. Not sure if I can speak of girl stories on a forum like this. Anyone who wants to hear that story can hit the like button. I sorta like the story. 'It was a sunny afternoon and I'd just rode into Yosemite National Park . . .' (Henry, you out there man? You wanna tell the story?).

But, perhaps there are better kinds of stories to query the cycle touring masses on. Like 'where is the best/worst place that you hung out during the 4th of July weekend to avoid the traffic?' I've got a ton of those since I hate that holiday weekend with a passion and if I'm near civilization when it takes place I panic. I suspect there are many others with the same loathing for that summer weekend when on the road. Probably nobody wants to admit there fear and loathing, though.

Bear stories? Nah.

How about best/worst overnight stay in a cemetary or graveyard? I really like that one. There is a significant difference between the two.

Sarcasm has deep, unexplored depths - just like dry humor or a dry martini. Waving the unopened vermouth bottle no closer than 24" from the glass is my kind of dry.

I do like girl stories a lot though. So I should start a thread titled 'tell us about the time that someone told you that there's a girl on a bike a couple of days ahead of you.' Except that there are quite few solo female riders out there who would feel totally left out since the inverse is not at all interesting, especially to the solo female cycle tourists.

Now, if I were ever to get serious about a blanket call for truly interesting bike touring stories, I'd want to ask about the most inspiring solo female cycle tourist you've ever encountered. I really like that one. There have been so many, and they've been a huge influence on my younger self who used to cling to maps and known routes.

What say? Anyone want to play?

Hey, maybe raccoon stories would bring some meaningless attention. I categorize them as well.

Another good one would be 'tell us about the time you were chased down by newspaper reporters for an interview.'

djb

just the other day I saw your name in an old thread, and wondered, "hey, havent seen that guy on here for a while"
and there you are now, drinking a cerveza or three.

Happy Feet

Speaking of snakes.

One time I was riding down a trail that was sort of narrow and there in the track was what looked like a large snake, at least 5 feet long, stretched out perpendicular to the road so I could not pass on either side.
I stopped and waited for a good long while, hoping it would slither away but it seemed to be content to sun itself where it lay.
It was too far to go back the way I had come, and I wanted to make camp before dark, so finally I screwed up my courage and decided to ride past.
It made for a few tense moments as I got closer and closer but then I saw it was just a stick and passed without issue.
I made camp before nightfall.

stardognine

And if we can invent a new word or two, even betterer. 😁

indyfabz

A yellow bellied racer slithered across the road while I was photographing some pronghorns in South Dakota. It disappeared into the grass.



These guys similarly ignored me. Must be the anti-social type.

Happy Feet

Makes sense. There appears to be no pub nearby.

stardognine

You need some old Buffalo nickels, to motivate those guys. They'll think it's their in-laws, & stampede. 😉