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Daughter Self Supported Tour

Old 08-21-19, 08:05 AM
  #26  
Leebo
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My 30 year old daughter travels a lot and does many of outside adventures. Snowboarding, hiking, camping, water sports etc. Its about situational awareness, making good choices and being prepared. Getting lost or caught in some weather would be a bigger concern. Route planning, phone and a backup for navigation would be a good start. OP, can she fix a bike, problem solve, think on her feet? At 25 she should have those life skills. As a dad I've think I have done a good job of instilling some great life skills in both my girls. Self reliance, problem solving, situational awareness and being comfortable both alone and in the woods. OP, get her a good route, 2 sources of navigation and a reliable bike.
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Old 08-21-19, 08:06 AM
  #27  
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Originally Posted by djb
nice to see some calm responses from other Americans regarding the realities of a firearm. As a Canadian this is a completely foreign topic and frankly one I would never have even thought of.
....
As I was typing my comment on bear spray, I was thinking that if she went into Canada, that might be considered a weapon and be confiscated, but it sounded like she would stay in USA.
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Old 08-21-19, 08:41 AM
  #28  
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Originally Posted by Leebo
Self reliance, problem solving, situational awareness and being comfortable both alone and in the woods.
I don't have kids, but when I first read the OP basically the above came to mind in the form of a question: "Does she have the right skill set to deal with adversity and problem solve?"
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Old 08-21-19, 10:39 AM
  #29  
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Originally Posted by TiHabanero
I am supportive, however I know girls who have been *****, harassed and accosted, and don't want my girl to experience that kind of horror. Not over protective, but realistic. It's a mad, mad, mad world.

I may provide a sidearm to make me feel better about it. I did teach her some basic knife fighting skills, and she is not afraid of defending herself as she participates in "Israeli" fighting instruction at a dojo of some kind. Should something happen to her, I will go to prison, and I don't want that, either.
I know of 25 year olds who have been killed driving to work when the car they were driving got hot by a drunk/drugged driver. Which is worse. Put everything into its proper perspective than you can see how dangerous the world really is.
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Old 08-21-19, 12:59 PM
  #30  
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As a father of a daughter younger than yours the best I can say is that you have to let them live their lives. Mine has done the Pgh to DC ride several times with another female, lived alone for a summer in Ecuador and just spent the summer in South Africa. As far as I'm concerned her travels have matured her immensely and have given her perspective that I'm not sure she'd have otherwise. Yes, I sweat every time she travels but constantly remind myself that there will always be risk in life and I have to let her grow up.
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Old 08-21-19, 01:33 PM
  #31  
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Originally Posted by mtb_addict
Make sure she knows that you'll be worried sick the whole time.

And know that travelling alone is never a good idea...and sometimes a very bad idea. Their are neighborhoods here I would be very worried.

And out in rural area, I would be just as worry, if not more worry, because there's no one around to help you.

Alot of people disappear every year, including young women. With today's social media, we now know there are many bad people every where.
Uh... tell me you don't have kids. Please.
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Old 08-21-19, 02:15 PM
  #32  
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Originally Posted by Happy Feet
Uh... tell me you don't have kids. Please.
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Old 08-21-19, 03:06 PM
  #33  
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Originally Posted by Tourist in MSN
As I was typing my comment on bear spray, I was thinking that if she went into Canada, that might be considered a weapon and be confiscated, but it sounded like she would stay in USA.
as I am in the east, and never had bear spray here, I dont really know the laws about it. I did buy some 20 odd years ago out in British Columbia, in grizzly land, for hiking, but thats the only time I've had some (that bottle is still in a closet in fact) so am not up on current laws in any Provinces to be honest, or cross border stuff either.
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Old 08-21-19, 04:19 PM
  #34  
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Originally Posted by Tourist in MSN
That is why I suggested you give her a can of bear spray.
+1 to bear spray. It can stop virtually ANY mamailian-critter. That side-arm thing is a very bad idea.

During my time cycling-touring & backpacking I've met quite a few solo-female-adventurers. I've only heard good things from their experiences.
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Old 08-21-19, 04:48 PM
  #35  
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Originally Posted by djb
as I am in the east, and never had bear spray here, I dont really know the laws about it. I did buy some 20 odd years ago out in British Columbia, in grizzly land, for hiking, but thats the only time I've had some (that bottle is still in a closet in fact) so am not up on current laws in any Provinces to be honest, or cross border stuff either.
I have cycled through bear areas in both the US and Canada. My experience:

1. In 2016, I bought bear spray in BC a short distance front Banff after seeing multiple "trail closed due to bears" signs. Purchasing this required me to sign and turn in declarations that essentially said "I realize bear spray is a weapon, and promise to only use it on bears". So there was an official record of my purchase. I didn't declare it but don't believe there was any issue bringing this across the border to the US.
2. Some years before I started a trip in Haines Alaska and crossed into YT. The Canadian border guards started with standard questions about "any weapons" but then specifically asked "even bear spray". The way they were asking seemed to give mixed messages of (a) cyclist you are a fool to travel in this part of YT without bear spray and (b) if you did have it, there would be special rules/restrictions you should follow...
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Old 08-21-19, 05:13 PM
  #36  
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Bear-spray is legal in US & Canada, BUT some pepper-sprays are not. That confuses people so border guards will want to inspect what you are carrying.
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Old 08-21-19, 05:25 PM
  #37  
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The suggestion of a firearm was more rhetorical than serious. Crossing state lines with a weapon can present issues depending upon the laws of the state and their municipalities. On a bicycle is it considered a concealed weapon or not. The point is that I have serous concerns about a girl traveling alone. She lived in France on her own, but quickly made friends and traveled Europe with them. She has lived in other states by herself, but always did things with a friend, especially in Los Angeles where being hit on every two feet on the way to work was normal.

She is very independent and smart, and I want her to have the same feelings I enjoyed when I set out on my first tour. I also want her to live long enough to tell me about it.
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Old 08-21-19, 05:57 PM
  #38  
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all understandable feelings Mr Ti
from a fellow dad
Im sure I would feel a lot better if my daughter headed out with a companion.
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Old 08-21-19, 06:00 PM
  #39  
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My daughter frequently does on solo bike tours that last several weeks. She has had very little trouble. One night she did have a little problem, I told her to immediately hang up and call the police. The problem was resolved.

On her way to Pennsic, she had a total failure of an IGH. The local SCA people were a great help. In all, she considers solo cycling tours to be great. I will try to get her to post here soon.
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Old 08-21-19, 06:07 PM
  #40  
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Originally Posted by TiHabanero
The suggestion of a firearm was more rhetorical than serious.
good

Originally Posted by TiHabanero
I want her to have the same feelings I enjoyed when I set out on my first tour.
My feeling is she will.

Originally Posted by TiHabanero
I also want her to live long enough to tell me about it.
Worry is what you signed up for as a Parent.

BTW: I have a grown daughter, AND I worry too. BUT a lot of the worry was just that...worry.
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Old 08-21-19, 06:24 PM
  #41  
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Originally Posted by BigAura
Bear-spray is legal in US & Canada, BUT some pepper-sprays are not. That confuses people so border guards will want to inspect what you are carrying.
Yep.The difference is that bear spray is made to be used against bears and mace type products are made to be used as weapons against humans so the law sees it in two different ways ie. intent. The major difference is spray pattern; Shotgun spread for bear and stream for humans. I carry bear spray all over the place in western Canada when hiking, kayaking or biking, including walking into cafes and coffee shops with it stuck in my jersey pocket - no one seems to notice.


Also, dad of 18yo daughter. Worrying is part of the deal, along with attitude it seems, and mostly the skill at this point seems to be letting go. Teach em well, provide a safe haven when they need it, become selectively deaf.

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Old 08-21-19, 06:43 PM
  #42  
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"become selectively deaf."

Well said. Certainly lost some hearing when she became a college student.
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Old 08-21-19, 08:02 PM
  #43  
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No one has addressed the greatest danger to all cyclists:
A fat lady in a silver Honda, holding a cell phone flat in its left hand, and a makeup brush in its right hand.

Daddy, get the girl interested in a mountain bike.
Like this one, scroll down and look at the tires. Go places Hondas do not go.
https://bikepacking.com/bikes/laels-...e-rig-and-kit/



Is it safe to take a boat ride on the upper tributaries of the Amazon river, for about 1,000 kilometers?
or
Is visiting indigenous villages in the jungles of Peru something a person needs to do in their life?

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Old 08-21-19, 08:39 PM
  #44  
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Originally Posted by TiHabanero
"become selectively deaf."

Well said. Certainly lost some hearing when she became a college student.

Before I had kids I had all sorts of opinions as to how my kids would behave, how they would talk to me and what they would and wouldn't do.

As the saying goes: no plan survives contact with the enemy I've since learned that raising teenagers is a delicate long term negotiation with lunatics in which it is best to ignore or forget most things you hear them say. Also don't look in their room or, if you do, somehow try to block out what you see.

I am told things get better when they hit age 30 but remain sceptical...
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Old 08-22-19, 04:38 AM
  #45  
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On the parental worry thing... I am a man and was 55 when I did my first tour. It was a Trans America, I wasn't alone and my 91 year old mother still was very worried. This despite the fact that I had done much more risky stuff my whole adult life. I think it is just in a parent's job description to worry.
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Old 08-22-19, 04:49 AM
  #46  
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I see a lot of solo female tourists come through on my regular route.

And although I understand the fear, crime rates have actually declined since our youth.
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Old 08-22-19, 08:25 AM
  #47  
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While I'm sure that you are well meaning, and this comes from a place of love for your daughter, I hope you haven't approached your daughter to discourage her from this trip.


As a solo bike tourist (who also happens to be a women) I can tell you a couple things:


1) As another poster said, your 25 year old daughter is likely much more versed in the dangers of womenhood than you are likely to know. She is making a decision based on her knowledge and you should respect that.


2) Despite the constant barrage of news stories related to violent crimes, the U.S. (indeed the world at large) is a much SAFER place than it was 40 years ago. You enjoyed your own adventure then; support your daughter in her choice to do so now.


3) Most people are generally kind to randoneers and touring cyclists. The general response is curiosity and wonderment, not animosity or ill-intent.


4) Here is my general protocall to make sure things go smoothly on long distance solo trips:


Have a fairly solid itinerary. Share your plan with those close to you, so they know where to expect you, when. Keep in contact with at least one person to let them know about your progress. Be well versed in camping/sleeping options along your route. Be flexible when you need to.


Don't tell random non-cyclists that you meet where you're camping. Don't excessively highlight that you're solo (although I've never hidden this info either). Oh course, feel free to talk to people in the community, as this is an enjoyable part of touring.


Secure your stuff while camping. I am a frequent hammock user, so that means keeping my stuff underneath me and my bike nearby. Use your common sense while camping. If a campground seems busy or excessively exposed, keep your belonings closer. If a campground (or camper) makes you feel uncomfortable, leave. I have definitely pulled into some sketchy camp areas along the coastal route from Seattle to San Francisco and decided I'd be better off to put in another 10 miles than sleep somewhere that seemed risky.


5) Please don't act like women are frail creatures that cannot complete ambitious tours. This idea has been rooted in male minds throughout the history of the bicycle and women keep proving you wrong. Unless there is something that you are not sharing about your daughter (a medical condition or a need for supervision in her daily life), please stop acting like your adult daughter cannot accomplish this reasonable goal.

Last edited by angelabikes; 08-22-19 at 09:08 AM.
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Old 08-22-19, 10:41 AM
  #48  
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@angelabikes I'll be the first to admit that I'm guilty of gender bias when it comes to my kids. I bite my cheek with regard to my fears when she's around and lose a lot of sleep and hair when she's traveling but never discourage it. One thing we do for added peace of mind is enable share our location on our phones so I tend to know where she's at when she has cell service and we try to touch base at least once a day when she's traveling alone.
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Old 08-22-19, 09:59 PM
  #49  
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Sometimes the women make it places I can not get to
https://www.athousandturns.net/2010/...ld-things-are/
no matter how hard I try.

https://www.pushbikegirl.com/category/blog/?lang=en
Chanced to meet her in Baja, as I pedaled north, she was alone, and headed south.
https://www.pushbikegirl.com/baja-di...-info/?lang=en
She takes good photos
https://www.pushbikegirl.com/fotografie/?lang=en


Need to go outside, dad.

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Old 08-23-19, 03:39 AM
  #50  
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Originally Posted by mtb_addict
Make sure she knows that you'll be worried sick the whole time.
I don't have the words to explain just how wrong I believe this advice to be.
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