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What are your favorite Strava segment names?

Old 07-28-16, 01:28 PM
  #26  
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Just poking around the lake...
tail winds can kom too... big guy!
Cysquatch
Baby Head
Col du Hazel (on Hazel bridge)
Sip it Grip it and Rip it
Mountain of the Lord (goes to a Mormon temple that is visible for miles around, actually the former site of my employer's rec center before they sold the land)
Rollerblader's Revenge

And from the MTB area...

please don't be sandy turn
Penis REAL MATURE, guys
Underwater? (from low reservoir time I think)
les2alpes: Alpe du Matt-Daddy
Smash the Fundies
Hey Get Off My Lawn!
Beware of Psychotic Horserancher
Climb to Avoid Crazy Guy's House

That's probably enough for now but this is bike heaven and I'm sure I could poke around the map for hours
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Old 08-03-16, 08:59 PM
  #27  
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I found a new one on tonight's club ride:

They threw me in the tank with a drunk called Otis.

Not sure about the reference, but the name gives me a smile never-the-less.
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Old 08-04-16, 09:28 AM
  #28  
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I've inspired myself: all new segments I create will have a Futurama theme. I started with a favorite episode title:

Spanish Fry

Next segment I create will be: Death by Snu-Snu

Last edited by Hypno Toad; 08-05-16 at 09:55 AM.
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Old 08-05-16, 06:22 AM
  #29  
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Congrats, if you are KOM, you are a pathlete
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Old 07-12-18, 09:53 AM
  #30  
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I saw this one on last night's ride and needed to add it to this list: Shadow Falls Park *****

Look at the map of the segment and try not to laugh (or I'm just an immature kid's mind in an old guy's body)

Edit/warning - this segment has a banned word in it's title... mild word, but BF banned
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Old 07-12-18, 01:46 PM
  #31  
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Originally Posted by Hypno Toad View Post
I like this one a great deal.

I kind of like this one:

The Lobster in Palos here in Chicago. It really does look exactly like a lobster.
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Old 07-12-18, 01:47 PM
  #32  
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Originally Posted by Hypno Toad View Post
I found a new one on tonight's club ride:

They threw me in the tank with a drunk called Otis.

Not sure about the reference, but the name gives me a smile never-the-less.
"High Plains Driifter" by The Beastie Boys from the classic "Paul's Boutique" album.
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Old 07-12-18, 02:47 PM
  #33  
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There's one on my commute through a sketchy part of town called "Marijuana on one, Reefer on two!" which is a quote from Dazed and Confused.
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Old 07-13-18, 02:52 AM
  #34  
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"the b1tch magnet" -- Presumably because other Strava users b1tched about a Strava segment on one of the narrowest lanes in one of the busiest areas, often crowded with families and kids, while cyclists blast through at 20-35 mph. Frankly it's a stupid place for a segment, between the kids and the speed bumps which wannabe racers ignore. You may need to check the waiver box to see it.

"The Rugged Wooded Ironman...Sissays Do Not Enter" -- Another pointlessly dumb segment, memorable only for the gaseous juvenile chest thumping name. It's too short to reliably record accurately with GPS, in a heavily wooded very narrow and dimly illuminated path even in daylight, and it switches back on itself. It's the sort of segment that makes pedestrians and joggers despise cyclists, and makes cyclists despise some cyclists. Fortunately the KOM of 289 mph and 2nd place of 52 mph put it out of reach for most folks. I quit participating in group rides on that route because of this particular segment. It's fine for a leisurely spin but a peloton of MAMILs blasting around that corner at 20 mph has pissed off plenty of local residents who use it for walks with kids and dogs.

"End of the Road Butt Whipper" -- It is, too. Besides being the end of a long segment of road that gets rougher and more bombed out as it goes along, it ends in a climb. And the person who created the segment made it almost impossible by setting the end point in the middle of the highway, based on flawed GPS data, so only the most suicidally ambitious cyclists will top the KOM.

"Plantation Owner" -- A gleefully, smirky un-PC nod to the Gone With the Wind movie references in this neighborhood - Plantation Drive passing Tara Drive, where there are actual plantation style homes in an ordinary suburban neighborhood. Hey, it's just south of White Settlement, which in the late 19th century was exactly what it sounds like. Never change, good ol' fellers and gals, never change.

"Shotgun Blast" -- A 1.3 mile, -3% downhill sprint that goes by the local skeet, trap and sporting clays range. The most dangerous bit is the narrow shoulder and ridiculously fast drivers passing. I've ridden it a few times -- it's fun for a 30+ mph sprint. Probably won't ride it again until/unless the shoulder is widened. It didn't used to have so much fast traffic but local development has made it increasingly dangerous for cyclists.

"Two to Tango" -- A segment I created as a challenge to myself, although my best time is only middle of the pack. It's a popular route with some very strong cyclists so I don't expect to crack the top ten on this segment. It's deceptive, 2 miles (or 2.2 miles, to be precise), nominally a 2% average but a roller coaster with lots of short, steep climbs. Tactically it's a tough one. There's rarely any wind assist. I've really had only one ride I'd consider successful out of about 100 tries on that segment. Usually I get it wrong and gas out too soon. However it may have just gotten a bit easier, as some of the chip seal bits have recently been smooth coated so it should be faster for awhile until traffic beats it up again.
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Old 07-13-18, 09:17 AM
  #35  
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Originally Posted by Hiro11 View Post
"High Plains Driifter" by The Beastie Boys from the classic "Paul's Boutique" album.
[/hiding face in shame]

Last edited by Hypno Toad; 07-13-18 at 12:08 PM.
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Old 07-13-18, 12:05 PM
  #36  
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Dodge it drag strip

So called because of a lot of inconsiderate dog owners failing to clean up after their mutts. It's usually a bit of a zigzag course along there.
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Old 07-13-18, 12:06 PM
  #37  
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I created this one a couple years ago - everybody loves hypnotoad - First time Lisa rode that segment, she's looking at her segments after the ride and looks at me... "you did that, didn't you?!? [/SMH]" LOL!
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Old 07-13-18, 03:55 PM
  #38  
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Old 07-16-18, 09:47 PM
  #39  
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"LAME" is a loop around the parking lot at a local MTB trailhead.
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Old 07-16-18, 11:04 PM
  #40  
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Get to the choppa!
Ascending near Mt Hollywood by the helipad.
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Old 07-19-18, 06:42 AM
  #41  
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Det lukter sokker her!

Norwegian for "it smells like socks here!" ... it's a bridge through a marsh.
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Old 07-19-18, 04:04 PM
  #42  
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This is a couple mile downhill segment to a gas station where a local shop ride regroups after some climbing.

My Get Up and Go Musta Got up and Went
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Old 07-20-18, 01:55 PM
  #43  
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I don't ***** in your sink, please don't walk in bike lane

People uses the bike lane as a sidewalk. Very frustrating. They added bollards to discourage this but some still wanders in the bike lane.
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Old 07-22-18, 08:20 AM
  #44  
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liquor store sprint
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Old 09-17-18, 11:18 AM
  #45  
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From the Delaware shore:

Taking it up the Assawoman (a local bay)
After riding Pushing it all the way Down Miller's Neck I had to create the reverse Pulling it back out of Miller's Neck
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Old 09-17-18, 03:13 PM
  #46  
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I just created one called Double Dinkey Donkey Dogleg. It passes a lot with two small donkeys. There's a smaller segment that pass the same critters called Little Donkey Incline and Little Donkey Decline. (What I lack in creativity is made up for with alliteration.)

-Matt

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Old 09-09-19, 07:27 AM
  #47  
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Crabby Edina Ladies with Little Dogs https://www.strava.com/segments/18727484 It's funny 'cause it's to damned accurate! As I rode through, I got stink-eye from a blue hair with her bichon.



FYI - Edina is a suburb with a lot of old wealthy people, they fought hard against this new region trail through their town.
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Old 09-09-19, 08:36 AM
  #48  
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I like descriptive names

Stroller Slalom - local MUP, very true, THE busiest stroller and dog section on the whole thing
Outrunning the M*******s - self-explanatory
Runway 225 (Cleared For Takeoff) - nice, long, straight stretch of road

Finally, I think this is more of a ride route, but it's still a great name - ~2K feet over 32 miles to the summit of a local mountain
Monsters
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Old 09-09-19, 11:00 AM
  #49  
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My favorites are...
  • Puck Hill
  • This hill made Scotty cry
  • Dead Bunny Hwy
  • Watch out for the Jerk in the white Dodge Truck
  • My legs are crying
  • We all die (next to a cemetary)
  • If you can dodge a ball, you can dodge cars

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Old 09-09-19, 11:40 AM
  #50  
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Anything that takes a dig at a local phenomenon or road name.

We have a street in the neighborhood named Transylvania Ave.....segment is......Where's Dracula?

We've got a little tiny segment around here on a greenway that goes past an all girls college. It's up a pimple of a hill, takes like 30 seconds. Name is ..........Big Girl Climb. Lol.

Our state has a federal prison one county over that's on a road that roadies frequent. Right by the prison is a segment or two dedicated to Bernie Madhoff. One is "hi Bernie!" the other is "bye Bernie!".
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