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Post a Lie about the poster above - Volume 2

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Post a Lie about the poster above - Volume 2

Old 01-20-21, 04:54 AM
  #15301  
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His poor mother spends her life in a wheelchair because he carelessly stepped on that crack.

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Old 01-20-21, 07:52 AM
  #15302  
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Being single his whole life........he whipped it, he whipped it good.
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Old 01-20-21, 08:15 AM
  #15303  
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Doesn't think we should have stopped doing the spork thing.
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Old 01-20-21, 08:59 AM
  #15304  
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As he has a warehouse full of NOS spork lies he bought on closeout when the whole "spork" thing was going out of fashion, he would love to see it get going again.
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Old 01-20-21, 11:25 AM
  #15305  
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Knows that the only thing more fashionable than being pantsless is the spork.
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Old 01-20-21, 04:50 PM
  #15306  
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Always carefully planning the future, he recently visited a monument company and commissioned his headstone. Knowing how famous this line is, spoken so many years ago in his first High School PE class, he's having it etched on his grave marker; "That's not a spork you ninny, that's a possum thingy!"
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Old 01-20-21, 05:07 PM
  #15307  
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Always looking to the past, he points to his families lineage in the LAR (Liars of the American Revolution) and claims his family sold George Washington the "I can not tell a lie" lie, but all he has to offer as proof is a family tradition of eating cherry pie with sporks.
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Old 01-20-21, 09:20 PM
  #15308  
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When he saw a letter in his mail box marked "Warrant", he immediately thought that it was signed photograph of his favorite "Cherry Pie" band. Upon opening it, to his disappointment, the letter was just from his local sheriff informing him about his missing his court date for indecent exposure.
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Old 01-21-21, 08:57 AM
  #15309  
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His lies are decent, despite being long-winded. The drum solo at the 7-minute mark is a nice touch.
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Old 01-21-21, 09:40 AM
  #15310  
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Is still trying to get my goat, after he let it fly away.
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Old 01-21-21, 03:11 PM
  #15311  
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...would probably still have his goat, if he head not depended on tethering it to a plastic spork.
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Old 01-21-21, 07:38 PM
  #15312  
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Modern tire technology cannot make up for his gargantuan weight.
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Old 01-21-21, 08:07 PM
  #15313  
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...knows that it is really spelled "tyre".
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Old 01-22-21, 08:08 AM
  #15314  
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His monologues always did lack any form of colour.
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Old 01-22-21, 08:16 AM
  #15315  
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And humour.
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Old 01-22-21, 08:49 AM
  #15316  
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As a young pre-pubescent opossum he was scarred for life when he was repeatedly exposed to all these uncouth bull possums hanging around his mom without shirts on.
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Old 01-22-21, 10:10 AM
  #15317  
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He's the reason his parents stopped having kids.
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Old 01-22-21, 10:35 AM
  #15318  
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...recently started using the gratuitous "U" in hopes of getting Canadian citizenship. It's a struggle, what with all their rules about wearing pants and such.
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Old 01-22-21, 10:53 AM
  #15319  
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H's nvr bn a fn f vwls.
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Old 01-22-21, 02:23 PM
  #15320  
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...he used to use the excuse, "I have loose vowels", when he wanted to stay home from school.
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Old 01-22-21, 04:17 PM
  #15321  
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Abandoned his use of calligraphy to drive his lies home. His crayons weren't sharp enough.
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Old 01-22-21, 04:54 PM
  #15322  
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Hoards hordes of lies for the brutal Wisconsin winters.
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Old 01-22-21, 05:35 PM
  #15323  
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Jokes on you. We don't get no winters no mo.

Will be rootin' for Mr. Rodgers' neighborhood this weekend.
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Old 01-22-21, 07:52 PM
  #15324  
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He's gotten so pale it brings him down; so he wrote a song "I Got Them Mayonnaise White Blues".
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Old 01-22-21, 08:14 PM
  #15325  
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...as long as the spray tan stuff holds out, he's golden.
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