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What would you do in this situation?

Old 02-01-08, 07:15 PM
  #26  
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Convince yourself she is a transvestite. You think I'm kidding, but that's probably what I would have to do.
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Old 02-01-08, 07:20 PM
  #27  
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Now, in exchange for this great advice it's time to reveal your true identity. What is your regular username?

(you can PM me. I promise not to tell. )
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Old 02-01-08, 07:23 PM
  #28  
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I think you should stare at her boobs the next time you see her. You will pick up an entirely different vibe off her which will help you readjust your expectations.

Once that's done, start acting normally again so you can work together effectively. This solution is good for everyone. You will know what's going on crystal clear without causing anyone great distress or permanently damaging relationships. Your wife will be happy except for some slight annoyance when she finds out about you ogling, and the woman will forgive you if you make up for it by being a great workmate and don't repeat your "mistake."
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Old 02-01-08, 07:30 PM
  #29  
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Originally Posted by Portis View Post
Now, in exchange for this great advice it's time to reveal your true identity. What is your regular username?

(you can PM me. I promise not to tell. )
But how would you know I wasn't just outing some other guy to deflect attention from myself? Though that would be a cruel joke.
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Old 02-01-08, 07:33 PM
  #30  
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Originally Posted by Lamplight View Post
Convince yourself she is a transvestite. You think I'm kidding, but that's probably what I would have to do.
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Old 02-01-08, 07:39 PM
  #31  
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Originally Posted by Lamplight View Post
Convince yourself she is a transvestite. You think I'm kidding, but that's probably what I would have to do.
Unconventional, but possibly effective. I must admit that this thought changed my emotional state in an instant so I may try this. The tactic reminds me of people who inflict pain on themselves to avoid laughing at inappropriate moments.
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Old 02-01-08, 08:35 PM
  #32  
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Bang the co-worker until you've had enough and can't stand any more. Then kill her and bury the body somewhere it'll never be found. Never, ever tell your wife.
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Old 02-01-08, 09:46 PM
  #33  
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I think Air has it right.

It sounds like acting on your feelings would damage the chemistry you feel with this woman at work in addition to messing up both of your lives. The only productive reason to tell her how you feel would be to take the mystery out of things so you can both get on with work and life.
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Old 02-02-08, 05:42 AM
  #34  
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Invite her over for dinner and suggest a menage a trois instead of an apertiff.
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Old 02-02-08, 09:16 AM
  #35  
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I feel like a moth drawn to a flame.

Just remember that most of the time the moth ends up toasted!
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Old 02-02-08, 09:48 AM
  #36  
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Originally Posted by DannoXYZ View Post
Bang the co-worker until you've had enough and can't stand any more. Then kill her and bury the body somewhere it'll never be found. Never, ever tell your wife.
Brilliant! I'll file that one away for future reference.
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Old 02-02-08, 10:40 AM
  #37  
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Originally Posted by banerjek View Post
I think you should stare at her boobs the next time you see her. You will pick up an entirely different vibe off her which will help you readjust your expectations.

Once that's done, start acting normally again so you can work together effectively. This solution is good for everyone. You will know what's going on crystal clear without causing anyone great distress or permanently damaging relationships. Your wife will be happy except for some slight annoyance when she finds out about you ogling, and the woman will forgive you if you make up for it by being a great workmate and don't repeat your "mistake."
this is actually not bad... it's just crazy enough to work...
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Old 02-02-08, 10:55 AM
  #38  
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Hit it one time you'll be over it. It's the pursuit and the kill that's exciting. Once done you'll be good to go.
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Old 02-02-08, 11:02 AM
  #39  
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Time is the only way out... and space but since you cant afford that, time.
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Old 02-02-08, 03:00 PM
  #40  
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Originally Posted by rando View Post
this is actually not bad... it's just crazy enough to work...
One thing to be aware of is this method could backfire if she feels the same way as the OP or actually likes the attention. However, the odds of that are a thousand to one.

Originally Posted by Alfster View Post
BTW, my guess is that you are completely misunderstanding her "lighting up" as innocent flirting. Some people just flirt naturally.
+1
Even if they like you, flirting often means nothing beyond that they find you nonthreatening. For example, one of the women I work with in my office is right around 20. We get along well on a work and personal basis and we like working together. We sometimes chat via IM (nothing inappropriate), and she even has cute names that she refers to me by.

However, I am positive that she means nothing by it and it is simply friendly office banter. Social rules in the case in my office dictate that the flirting must be one way only, so I don't reciprocate even if I am friendly. You may have a similar situation on your hands.

Another way of thinking about this is that there are lots of old guys (70+) who are just a hoot to be around. Women of all ages like them and may even flirt with them. They're just having fun with someone's company they enjoy.
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Old 02-02-08, 03:33 PM
  #41  
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Originally Posted by qwertyasdf View Post
Enough blubbering. What should I do?
Do something crazy. Something that would make a great, made-for-TV movie on the women's channel.
 
Old 02-03-08, 11:10 AM
  #42  
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Originally Posted by USAZorro View Post
Be really careful. There's a thin line between "a little spark" and "sexual harassment".
So true...leave her alone.

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Old 02-03-08, 04:03 PM
  #43  
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Bring up your wife somehow in a conversation with the coworker. Her fem instincts will automatically go into that "protection of all women" pact thing they do, the signals will stop being transmitted, you'll cry in the men's room when you realize it is over, and you go home to your wife.
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Old 02-03-08, 04:37 PM
  #44  
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Originally Posted by Spreggy View Post
Her fem instincts will automatically go into that "protection of all women" pact thing they do,
Hmmm...most women I know would go into competitive mode and kick the flirting into a higher gear. Depends on what she's looking for but a man who's in a relationship is battle tested since there's usually something the matter with the single ones.

I know a few guys who get fake wedding rings to wear out at bars - works quite well.
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Old 02-03-08, 04:50 PM
  #45  
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It depends on what your definition of "is", is.

edit: And thanks Danno for being the voice of reason!
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Old 02-03-08, 06:11 PM
  #46  
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Originally Posted by Air View Post
Depends on what she's looking for but a man who's in a relationship is battle tested since there's usually something the matter with the single ones.

I know a few guys who get fake wedding rings to wear out at bars - works quite well.
This makes no sense. Battle testing is a good thing only when performance in battle was good.

If a married guy is hanging out in bars in the hopes of hooking up with a sufficiently inebriated and desperate woman other than his wife, he can be presumed to be a dud.
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Old 02-03-08, 07:10 PM
  #47  
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You did ask what I would do in the same situation...right?


I'd make sure to have vigorous sex with my wife every morning before going to work. Not only would my attitude about the situation improve, the temptation lessen...but I'd be having sex every morning!
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Old 02-03-08, 07:21 PM
  #48  
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Go pay a bouncer to kick you in the groin. That should get rid of any sexual thoughts.

YOUR married!


.
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Old 02-03-08, 07:22 PM
  #49  
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Originally Posted by Wordbiker View Post
I'd make sure to have vigorous sex with my wife every morning before going to work. Not only would my attitude about the situation improve, the temptation lessen...but I'd be having sex every morning!
Fantastic advice!
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Old 02-03-08, 07:58 PM
  #50  
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Originally Posted by Portis View Post
I, qwertyasdf,
Take you, (your wife)
To be none other than yourself.
I promise to stand by your side;
To encourage you, and be open and honest with you;
To laugh with you, and cry with you;
To always love and honor you;
Both freed and bound by our love,
For as long as we both shall live."


Any questions?

Simple enough.
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