CyLowe97

Does she know your take on this? Does she think the same thing? If she says yes, she's only amusing you. She means, "Hells YES I want that worthless piece of crap to sit on my hand. And it better be high quality."

Unfortunately? Are you thick or what? This is the reason you must ignore your own urge to call this token of affection a "worthless piece of crap" and get her a quality rock.

And of the "4 C's" of the Diamond Cartel Scam, remember this: Carat is the least imporant.

Don't cheap out.

CerpinTaxt

I've heard of engagement Cervelo. But she was crazy into cycling apparently. If your lady isn't just stick to above advices. What SHE wants.

Homebrew01

I was supposed to buy an engagement ring ?!?! Oooops. She married me anyway.

Tsuru

Because suggestions, no matter how "not her" they are, can get one started. One look online can be rather overwhelming. There's so many types of rings and styles, I think starting points, no matter how off they are, can help.

superdex

4 C's. Read up on it. Find a jeweler in your area you trust. Make sure you know what she likes (gold? silver? heart-shaped stone? Marquis? Princess?

My wife is classic and elegant; the engagement ring was a solitaire princess cut stone, right under 1ct (like .98 or something, the magical carat barrier makes $$ go up quite a bit). She has small hands, so 1ct looks great on her finger.

From there, she designed her wedding set using smaller square diamonds flanking the main stone set into the rings. Something similar to this


In the end, she'll be overjoyed, just make sure the stone is a stone she'll keep. You can redo the rings. The engagement ring we reused for a sapphire I brought back from Sri Lanka....

linux_author

my proposal was to drag her into a Zales at the mall, push her in front of the diamond ring counter, get out a ring, fit it on her finger, and ask, "Do ya wannit?"

it worked

btw, whatever engagement ring you get will be supplemented by one or more other larger, more expensive rings sooner than later, so don't go crazy right off the bat

m4ximusprim3

I totally lucked out- I asked her mom and dad first (old fashioned, no doubt) and not only were they thrilled, her mom had been saving her grandmother's engagement ring (with a very nice diamond) for just that reason, so I got out for the price of a new setting.

I would imagine that if anyone in your family has been re-married and still has the old ring kicking around, they might sell it cheap. But that's just me being fredly

crhilton

You asked for it, I'll dump:

When I got married I was fresh out of college, so I had no money. I took my wife to a nice jeweler and asked to look at rings. I wanted to get what she liked: As usual, he talked her into a several thousand dollar ring (and that's with a cheap colored stone, just the band was in the thousands). I told her that wasn't happening, bought her a $100 ring to serve as an engagement ring and a wedding ring and we got married. Before we got married I promised her a nice engagement style ring in the future, but I didn't want to start us in debt to a jeweler.

We were both happy: This is (part of) why I love my wife, she's not senseless when it comes to money and romance. She knows what scarcity means and has intelligent priorities. There was a fight (she and I were on the same side), we won, and it was all fine.

For our first anniversary I bought her an engagement style ring. I still spent far less than the ring she'd picked out. In fact, I won't return to the jeweler who talked her into the overpriced ring: He's a jerk. You can't sell me by "teaching me about women." I know my wife.

Anyway, the band was the important part, and it's an antique style with lots of filligree. She was quite happy about it. There are a lot of women though that will want a gold plain band with a big diamond.

Anyway, the ring was less expensive, she loves it and still wears it (w00t, still married).


So my advice: You should get her something she'll like. Don't blow your wad, but you'd better not cheap out (spend less than you can afford when she clearly wants more). Don't let her pick it out, that's stupid. The jeweler will try to play her against you, I'm not kidding, they can be like car salesmen.

Psimet2001 

ftw

caloso

Mrs. Superdex sounds a lot like Mrs. Caloso. One of the nice things about going custom was that we were able to incorporate some small stones from her grandmother. It means a lot.

tombailey

quality of diamond matters more than size.
don't spend more than you can afford (if you hit the big time in 10 years you can buy her a new ring for your anniversary).
unless you're trying to completely surprise her then talk to her about what she wants, and what size she is).

if it is a surprise then you can follow my friend's scheme to find out the correct size. He concocted with the local store that at a certain time on a certain day the jeweller would be outside with a clipboard doing a "survey" of how the nation's weight gain was affecting ring sizes. they walked by as arranged and took part in the survey. she had no idea when he proposed a month later. a lot of effort, but a great story.

dadof3boys

That's the same size I got my wife at Zales as well. I sold off most of my guitar gear to afford it. To a college kid, it seemed like so much money back then (8 1/2 yrs.), but now I wish I could get her something better...so I'm shopping for a road bike for her

carpediemracing 

I actually replied to a post somewhere on this, and I expanded it into a blog post:

https://sprinterdellacasa.blogspot.co...y-diamond.html

Basically it comes down to this: CUT.

You can't see the different colors once you get to D, you can't tell if it's .9 or 1.0 carats, you can't tell if it's better than a VS1 (because, by definition, you need a loupe), but you can always, always, always tell a nicely cut diamond. They sparkle.

And you can get anything you want, but if it's not cut nicely (and diamonds weren't even rated on cut until a few years ago), the thing will be a dim failure.

So get a sparkly diamond. The rest is up to you.

cdr

Ex Pres 

Mine was about as basic as you can get:

1.26 ct round - properly cut. Cut is the most important of the 4 Cs if you want it to look brilliant. IIRC (too long ago) VS1, maybe VVS2, color around G. Simple prong mount on a yellow gold band.

I bought it from an independent jeweler - one line in the phone book kind of guy - that was recommended to me by a colleague. I also checked some of the larger mall chain stores as well. None had anything near the same quality that they could show me.

NickDavid

Yes, she does know. Her response is, just buy whatever you can afford. She actually came to me the other day and said, "I want you to know that I don't care what you buy and it would be selfish of me to expect something expensive." I was touched.

It was a joke, dude. Calm your sack. Diamond engagement rings were a marketing tool that people fell for. I will always buy quality or quantity.

CyLowe97

Pay attention again to these people on the cut and clarity stuff.

Because nothing says "I Love You" like a 1.5 carat diamond that looks like it's got coffee dregs in it.


Edit... never mind.

Tsuru

Found one just like the one I got my wife!

khatfull

This.

When my wife and I shop jewelry for her we usually pay less than 50-60% of the sticker. We'll pre-shop, and then go back. We'll hem and haw let them make an offer, then walk away. Walk back a few minutes later, and then I'll usually whip out the cash and say, "this is it, take it or leave it".

They usually take it.

curiouskid55

Unless you already have $20K in savings for a down payment on a piece of real estate youd' be an idiot to spend any significant amount on jewelry. A key is much more important to your future than an inherently worthless rock.

Tsuru

Depends, eh? Our home is worth less than it was when we bought it, even with upgrades. "Owning land" in this mobile/global world we live in these days may not be the right investment for him.

TurbineBlade

Quality of diamond? Size? Pfff...none of this crap matters unless it is specific to your wife's personal tastes. I think the real key is making it something specific and personal....that's it.

My wife and I had celtic gold bands made by a local jeweler that match (mine is larger) from white and yellow gold. She is Scottish and hence they had personal meaning.

An engagement ring could be done much the same.

That's my advice anyway, we could care less about diamonds even though our rings ended up costing as much as what we would've spent on diamonds. What's the sense in doing what everyone else without a good reason?

wmt3rd

I got off lucky. My wife did NOT want a diamond, but just a simple wedding band. It was a good thing, since we were both just out of graduate school, broke as hell, but with no debt.

RoboCheme

I spent $450, but that's a lot of money .... 32 years ago. Is this going to be a surprise to her? If not, have her shop with you; it'll save a lot of grief.

My former officemate got her ring at Costco - as with most Costco stuff, good quality and good value.

tuxbailey

I did the same thing. My wife designed the setting and it was up to me to pick the stone to retain some "surprise."

For me, cut > color > clarity.

khatfull

As a follow up, talk her out of an engagement ring and go here: https://www.titanium-buzz.com/ticafiri.html

You should be able to find something for the wedding on that page! Haha!