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how to get a GF into cycling?

Old 10-27-09, 06:40 PM
  #1  
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how to get a GF into cycling?

I just got into riding this year but I spend a lot of time riding. I'm usually riding all weekend. I also just got engaged My fiance is the reason I ride my bike so much, she bought me a bike to loose weight for our wedding pictures and I just really got into it. I bought her a decent starter MTB for her birthday but she has only ridden it once. She's starting to hint that my cycling is interfering with our relationship. I think it would be good to ride together but it's almost as if she sees my bike as a rival woman. How can I get my fiance into cycling?

ok go!
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Old 10-27-09, 07:12 PM
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Originally Posted by garethzbarker View Post
I just got into riding this year but I spend a lot of time riding. I'm usually riding all weekend. I also just got engaged My fiance is the reason I ride my bike so much, she bought me a bike to loose weight for our wedding pictures and I just really got into it. I bought her a decent starter MTB for her birthday but she has only ridden it once. She's starting to hint that my cycling is interfering with our relationship. I think it would be good to ride together but it's almost as if she sees my bike as a rival woman. How can I get my fiance into cycling?

ok go!
Find out what kind of riding she is interested in. I bought my bride a very nice GT Slipstream "hybrid" back in 2000. She was willing to ride it a bit because she knows I love to ride. She didn't ride it very much except when we rode together. She has problems getting the hang of shifting a triple front and 8 speed rear, even with indexed shifting.

Fast forward to 2006 we went to the ABCE (All British Cycling Event) one of the door prizes was a 1971 Raleigh Colt 3 speed coaster brake in her size, we won it. Brought it home and put a wicker basket on it. It has become her favorite bike and is ready for a new set of tires on it. She rode that bike more in the past 3 years than she ever rode her GT.

Also be willing to ride at her speed and ride where she wants to go. One of my wife's favorite rides involves putting the bikes in the truck and driving 25 miles down into the nearest town so we can ride a rails to trails that has an ice cream store on one end. But it gets her riding, we have also gotten a tandem and I am hoping that we will be able to move up to some longer rides in the spring if our schedules allow it.

Your bride to be may never develop the love for cycling you have, but you may be surprised.

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Old 10-27-09, 07:26 PM
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Originally Posted by wahoonc View Post
Also be willing to ride at her speed and ride where she wants to go. One of my wife's favorite rides involves putting the bikes in the truck and driving 25 miles down into the nearest town so we can ride a rails to trails that has an ice cream store on one end.
x2 ... ride to a hang-out area ... coffee house or something. Maybe go into a historic area and look at the homes, architecture. Maybe head over to the library to pick up some books/videos. Make it more than just about biking.

I finally got my GF to buy a casual MTB bike. I've been slowly trying to get her more accustomed to riding casually instead of driving everywhere. She has concerns about safely riding on the road, and I try to make her comfortable and more self-assertive/confident. That said, I try to connect MUPs and low traffic areas for more enjoyable routes. But if your fiance doesn't like road-riding, stick to MUP etc.

Just my two sense. Good luck.
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Old 10-27-09, 07:43 PM
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1) Make sure the bicycle really fits her and that she feels comfortable on it. If she doesn't feel comfortable on it, she won't be inclined to ride it.

2) Even though it is a mtn bike, that doesn't mean you have to do rough trails and narrow track with it. Ride with her on the road (quiet roads) and on quiet paths.

3) Ride with her ... even if it means you've got to slow down and take it easy.

4) Know that you may never get her interested in cycling. But if she isn't interested in cycling, is she interested in doing some other form of exercise? Does she like going and swimming laps at the pool, or attending aerobics classes or something? If so, then you go for a ride while she's doing whatever she likes doing. However, if she is not interested in any sort of exercise and you now are ......... then you've got to make a choice.
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Old 10-27-09, 08:37 PM
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Originally Posted by Machka View Post
+1
my GF and I ride often, now married over 25 years.
Have to find a balance - before you get married.

1) Make sure the bicycle really fits her and that she feels comfortable on it. If she doesn't feel comfortable on it, she won't be inclined to ride it.
IMHO- the guy being a good chauvinist getting a bike for his partner is a major mistake. Each rider should pick our his/her bike - this fosters ownership. Now that said- sometimes one of the partners needs to help create a good opportunity for bike selection.




2) Even though it is a mtn bike, that doesn't mean you have to do rough trails and narrow track with it. Ride with her on the road (quiet roads) and on quiet paths.

After #1- if your partner has a mtn bike & does really ride over any mtns - put touring type tires on it.
they will be more comfortable on the roads and paths - plus a little more responsive.

3) Ride with her ... even if it means you've got to slow down and take it easy.

My partner and I ride - TWOgether. Once a month we, leave the kids home and go on a bike date.
Others have mentioned cycling, not for the only goal of cycling- but incorporate that into some
activity or interest. My partner can list a most of the ice cream shops within about a 100 km
and what she prefers to get at each one. Another example - on saturday we go grocery
shopping - with the car in the morning. However on sat afternoon [ not our bike date] - we
often cycle to an original country store with a great meat counter, its about 30 km round trip.
Just to get something for sat or sun nite dinner. They have ice cream and great oatmeal
cookies.

4) Know that you may never get her interested in cycling. But if she isn't interested in cycling, is she interested in doing some other form of exercise? Does she like going and swimming laps at the pool, or attending aerobics classes or something? If so, then you go for a ride while she's doing whatever she likes doing. However, if she is not interested in any sort of exercise and you now are ......... then you've got to make a choice.
Another good example- my partner goes to stretching and exercise once or twice per week - depending upon the season. It is about 15 km, I often ride there and get a lift home.
My partner has annual cycle trips outlined for the about next decade - this is another good way to keep everyone connected to cycling. Go where the partner wants [that is part of partnership], the between trip cycling is important to keep in cycling form for the trip.
I'll be quiet now.
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Old 10-27-09, 09:07 PM
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For me the answer is Saturday morning coffee shop rides. Our bike club has on once a month and it is strictly a social event of 7 to 12 miles for all bikes and a stop for coffee and pie for some. My wife got interested and now it trying to get used to riding five to 10 miles before the next one.
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Old 10-27-09, 09:44 PM
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If you could get other people into exercising, that weren't interested otherwise, there wouldn't be any fat people. Short answer is, that you quite likely can't do it. There's no law that says you and your girlfriend have to have the same hobbies, though. Work around it.
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Old 10-27-09, 10:28 PM
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that's some good advice. she's actually more athletic, younger and way healthier than me but she likes to switch things up. For instance she will study swimming for 3 months, then racket ball, then yoga, then karate. I really wish I was like that.
I should probably let her pick where we go and maybe even plan the times. She really enjoys being in control . The first day we picked up her bike I said I would just follow her, man she had me sweating up some hills.
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Old 10-27-09, 10:49 PM
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Or, if she doesn't like cycling, let her do her own thing while you enjoy riding solo. Nothing wrong with that either.
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Old 10-28-09, 01:23 AM
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Originally Posted by garethzbarker View Post
I should probably let her pick where we go and maybe even plan the times. She really enjoys being in control . The first day we picked up her bike I said I would just follow her, man she had me sweating up some hills.
Well there you go ... problem solved!
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Old 10-28-09, 05:53 AM
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Originally Posted by Nachoman View Post
Or, if she doesn't like cycling, let her do her own thing while you enjoy riding solo. Nothing wrong with that either.
+1. I've been married for closing on 26 years now. It is not necessary to share all the same interests. My wife loves to sew. I do not. I love to ride. My wife has no interest in bikes. She has our large bedroom cluttered with sewing gear and machines and boxes of spare fabrics and what not. I have the basement cluttered with bikes and parts. Actually, that situation's rather funny now that I think about it in that way.
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Old 10-28-09, 06:00 AM
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Originally Posted by garethzbarker View Post
...but she likes to switch things up. For instance she will study swimming for 3 months, then racket ball, then yoga, then karate. I really wish I was like that.
You've made an interesting observation that's worth keeping in mind. Some will pick up a hobby or a passtime and stick with it for life. Others jump all over the place. I've tended to jump around a lot. I'll latch onto something for a year or two, dive deeply into it, and then I lose interest and move on to something else. I've gone through photography, downhill skiing, hiking, cross-country skiing, book collecting, coin collecting, home improvement, building my own computers, kayaking, etc. Cycling is actually unusual in that it's held my interest for, oh, about eight years now. That's probably a record.

Sometimes I wish I could be like the people who stick with one thing and develop deep expertise.

It's not like I never do any of those other things I mentioned. But the passion is gone. They do not consume my attention anymore.

I should make a point now, shouldn't I? I think the point is to know yourself, to know your fiance, to be accepting of each other. And laugh at your foibles.
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Old 10-28-09, 01:11 PM
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she's right, cycling is a mistress. doesn't she need to lose weight too?
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Old 10-28-09, 01:29 PM
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Originally Posted by garethzbarker View Post
My fiance is the reason I ride my bike so much, she bought me a bike to loose weight for our wedding pictures and I just really got into it. How can I get my fiance into cycling?
ok go!
Tit-for-tat. Tell her she needs to lose weight, then buy her a better bike.
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Old 10-28-09, 01:35 PM
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For the guys who immediately jumped to conclusions about her physical condition:

Originally Posted by garethzbarker View Post
that's some good advice. she's actually more athletic, younger and way healthier than me but she likes to switch things up ... The first day we picked up her bike I said I would just follow her, man she had me sweating up some hills.
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Old 10-28-09, 01:55 PM
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Originally Posted by calamarichris View Post
Tell her she needs to lose weight
That's a very effective way to lose a fiancee.
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Old 10-28-09, 02:35 PM
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Originally Posted by coffeecake View Post
For the guys who immediately jumped to conclusions about her physical condition:
I read that much. Just figured she would be inspired and challenged by his example. Every woman wants to be inspired and challenged, right?

(I'm just jealous of the OP because all the women I've been finding on internet dating are a bunch of couch-doilies who categorize themselves as 'fit' because they got a Wii or tried jetskiing this summer.)
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Old 10-28-09, 11:42 PM
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Originally Posted by Nachoman View Post
Or, if she doesn't like cycling, let her do her own thing while you enjoy riding solo. Nothing wrong with that either.
We have a winner.
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Old 10-29-09, 03:42 AM
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I tell my wife if she isn't riding the bike then it's whoopee time. She has her helmet on so fast your head will spin
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Old 10-29-09, 04:09 AM
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Stuff I've learned over the years:

-At all times, lots of positive reinforcement, "I could barely keep up with you!", "Wow! You cleaned that rock garden first time!" Keep the pace and distances modest and attainable. DO NOT DROP.

-Figure out what style of riding appeals to her the most. Plan rides around that. Does she bore easily? Put some more effort into finding interesting routes.

-Don't hedge your bets. Get her, or encourage her to get, a bike she absolutely loves. Ideally, better than your own. Can even things out a bit. I see too many car roofracks with a men's size carbon superbike beside a smaller crapper. That's just silly.
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Old 10-29-09, 04:44 AM
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Last night I went out and cleaned her bike then changed the handle bars, adjusted a brake and lubed the gears. I lied to her and said I upgraded the gears and brakes. Then I took it for a 2 hour ride and said, "I dunno, this bike rides so much better than my mountain bike...I might change the stem and start using yours."
She saw me adding my lights and bags to her bike and snapped, "Who said you could have my bike? I'm about to start using it for morning workouts."
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Old 10-29-09, 06:25 AM
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Originally Posted by CCrew View Post
I tell my wife if she isn't riding the bike then it's whoopee time. She has her helmet on so fast your head will spin
if i told my girl that i would never get to ride my bike!
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Old 10-29-09, 01:32 PM
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Well your latest response makes it seem like your partner is ready to ride again, but regarding the resentment you alluded to in your first post- you'd mentioned getting really into cycling yourself; I'm wondering if this involves buying tons of gear and accessories, and I'm wondering if you two operate on a shared budget, and if so, I'm wondering if you're buying all this new gear without discussing it with your partner? Perhaps it's as simple as discussing with your partner what kind of things you want to get, and why that gear is important/essential to your ride enjoyment/safety. And heck, even if you're on separate budgets, it really can't hurt to talk about the gear you dream about with x-mas just around the corner, right?
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Old 10-29-09, 01:52 PM
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Dump her. It'll only go downhill from here.
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Old 11-02-09, 06:56 AM
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Yeah I've been real careful about spending cash on cycling. When People talk about expensive hobbies cycling really isn't one of the first things that comes to mind but it has more potential to cost than any other hobby I've ever had. I talk to her about everything I purchase, now that I've been doing it 6 months, I've made significant progress in weight lose and I know more about what kind of riding I like I have ordered a nicer rode bike but we talked about it for weeks and I did a lot of research before the purchase. We made a deal no more new bikes for a long time But yeah I could see the cost of cycling putting a strain on a relationship.
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