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Florida man?

Old 04-29-19, 06:06 PM
  #101  
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Originally Posted by ahsposo View Post
So, while you were walking this "dog" were you

a) carrying a gun, rifle, crossbow or sword

b) naked

c) high on drugs

d) en route to committing a crime

e) all of the above

?
My public defender told me not to answer and to drink a fifth of Amendment, so I'm off to the liquor store with my 'dog'.
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Old 04-30-19, 05:45 AM
  #102  
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Originally Posted by chewybrian View Post
My public defender told me not to answer and to drink a fifth of Amendment, so I'm off to the liquor store with my 'dog'.
Okay, I respect that; but answer this: Have you ever licked a doorbell?

Floridaman caught on video licking doorbell

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Old 04-30-19, 06:08 AM
  #103  
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Originally Posted by ahsposo View Post
Okay, I respect that; but answer this: Have you ever licked a doorbell?

Floridaman caught on video licking doorbell

https://youtu.be/HICXOH0FR6I

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Old 04-30-19, 06:17 AM
  #104  
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Originally Posted by ahsposo View Post
So, while you were walking this "dog" were you

a) carrying a gun, rifle, crossbow or sword

b) naked

c) high on drugs

d) en route to committing a crime

e) all of the above

?
f.) shootin' at some food.

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Old 04-30-19, 09:22 AM
  #105  
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Originally Posted by ahsposo View Post
Okay, I respect that; but answer this: Have you ever licked a doorbell?

Floridaman caught on video licking doorbell

https://youtu.be/HICXOH0FR6I
Is he a FloridaMan licking a doorbell, or is he a FloridaDeliveryMan ringing the doorbell with his tongue, because his left hand is full of food, and he forgot about his right hand because of all the meth?
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Old 05-01-19, 05:18 AM
  #106  
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The Righteous Wrath of Floridaman:

Floridaman Threatens To “Shoot All The Employees” At Pet Store Over Sick Puppies
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Old 05-02-19, 03:59 PM
  #107  
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Floridaman usually has that same look in his eyes in all those pictures.
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Old 05-02-19, 04:25 PM
  #108  
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https://www.yahoo.com/news/man-plumm...202237982.html

^Possibly a tourist from Florida; one assumes... All he did was climb over the barriers into the volcano and fall 70 feet onto a narrow ledge, which prevented his death in liquid hot magma.



They should put up a big sign saying "Don't go into the volcano". How else would he know?
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Old 05-02-19, 04:45 PM
  #109  
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Originally Posted by chewybrian View Post
They should put up a big sign saying "Don't go into the volcano". How else would he know?
I remember once touring an old castle in Wales, visitors were free to roam walkways around the inside of the walls, probably 10m off the ground, with no railings, no warning signs
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Old 05-02-19, 05:12 PM
  #110  
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Florida man claims sexual role-play led to shootout



https://www.hawaiinewsnow.com/2019/05/01/florida-man-claims-sexual-role-play-led-shootout/
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Old 05-05-19, 12:35 PM
  #111  
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Wanted Florida man hoped blonde wig would disguise him from deputies as he biked away: report

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Old 05-06-19, 11:21 AM
  #112  
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This podcast was advertised in the Chicago Tribune yesterday. Felonious Florida Podcast | South Florida Sun Sentinel
I'm sure Floridaman is in there somewhere, and I admit to thinking it had something to do with Thelonious Monk at first
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Old 05-07-19, 09:26 AM
  #113  
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I heard this story about Florida woman pulling an alligator out of her yoga pants this morning while I was waking up and wasn't sure I heard it correctly. But I did. https://jezebel.com/florida-woman-pulls-foot-long-alligator-from-her-yoga-p-1834570365
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Old 05-07-19, 11:53 AM
  #114  
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Sure; goat yoga, cat yoga, puppy yoga, scaly reptile yoga; it's a thing.
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Old 05-07-19, 04:59 PM
  #115  
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Maybe that's that the TSA is looking for when they pat down women in yoga pants.
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Old 05-07-19, 05:58 PM
  #116  
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Who among you doesn't have an alligator in their pants right now?

Tell the truth...
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Old 05-07-19, 06:13 PM
  #117  
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I'm just happy to see you
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Old 05-08-19, 04:35 PM
  #118  
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Floridaman jailed for ‘I eat ass‘ bumper sticker refuses to back down

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Old 05-08-19, 04:48 PM
  #119  
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Originally Posted by ahsposo View Post
Sure; goat yoga, cat yoga, puppy yoga, scaly reptile yoga; it's a thing.
I like yoga with fruit in it. I hear Britney Spears likes yoga too. I could use help stirring it.
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Old 05-08-19, 06:06 PM
  #120  
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Originally Posted by Rollfast View Post
I like yoga with fruit in it. I hear Britney Spears likes yoga too. I could use help stirring it.
This doesn't make any sense! You like a Star Wars character covered in fruit?
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Old 05-08-19, 06:32 PM
  #121  
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Originally Posted by ahsposo View Post
This doesn't make any sense! You like a Star Wars character covered in fruit?
Nono you misread completely. Not covered in fruit, FILLED with fruit ('fruit IN it')
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Old 05-09-19, 04:20 AM
  #122  
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Originally Posted by Rollfast View Post
I like yoga with fruit in it. I hear Britney Spears likes yoga too. I could use help stirring it.

Britney Spears gets restraining order against former friend

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Old 05-09-19, 04:36 AM
  #123  
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Originally Posted by ahsposo View Post
This doesn't make any sense! You like a Star Wars character covered in fruit?
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Old 05-09-19, 03:00 PM
  #124  
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VIDEO: Floridaman in speedo waves down deputies to show off his marijuana plant
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Old 05-11-19, 12:33 PM
  #125  
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Don't ask. Don't even think about it.

Floridaman says he would rather 'go to jail' than to his wife as he gets caught driving on sunroof



A Florida man claiming he would rather “go to jail” than back home to his wife was arrested Friday after being caught driving on a highway while sitting on top of his sunroof.

Leonard Olsen, 70, was detained after an off-duty deputy at Hillsborough County sheriff's office recorded the man and reported him to the Florida Highway Patrol.


The deputy said Olsen was speeding more than 100 mph down the highway and later slowed down to 40 mph, WTSP reported. The man then stood up and sat on his open sunroof while the car was still moving.https://www.foxnews.com/us/florida-m...ing-on-sunroof
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