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Post a Lie about the poster above - Volume 2

Old 12-04-19, 04:26 PM
  #13076  
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...because he's tone deaf, he doesn't sing for karaoke Tuesdays at "The Wet Spot" bar in Waukegan. But he does get up sometimes (when he's had enough to drink), and do a karaoke strip dance to Adam Ant. No one seems to mind, which is about average for Waukegan.

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Old 12-05-19, 01:55 PM
  #13077  
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...he's never been to Waukegan, Illinois. Never, ever, ever. Not once.
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Old 12-05-19, 04:06 PM
  #13078  
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Always swore Wausau was occupied by the Germans in 1939.
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Old 12-05-19, 04:16 PM
  #13079  
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...his lifelong dream has always been to move to Wisconsin and open a chain of karaoke bars.
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Old 12-05-19, 07:25 PM
  #13080  
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Mixes karaoke up with Yoko Ono. When he sings it's just like starting over..
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Old 12-05-19, 08:03 PM
  #13081  
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When he sings the Suicide Hotline phones start ringing off the hook.
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Old 12-06-19, 06:25 AM
  #13082  
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Knows that only cheesy cellphones 'ring', telephones warble and cowboys yodel. Got Disney Plus so he would watch a baby yodel.
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Old 12-06-19, 08:04 AM
  #13083  
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Dreams of being the next yahoo yodeller.
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Old 12-06-19, 09:19 AM
  #13084  
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Dreams of electric sheep.
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Old 12-06-19, 11:04 PM
  #13085  
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Dreams of chasing sheep.
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Old 12-07-19, 05:13 AM
  #13086  
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Has a lot of sheep. He claims to flock sheep and says he's a professional sheep flocker.
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Old 12-07-19, 05:39 AM
  #13087  
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The sheep rebelled when he tried to add tinsel.
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Old 12-07-19, 10:15 AM
  #13088  
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...knows a lot about rebellion and sheep from his Tuesday nights singing karaoke.

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Old 12-07-19, 12:34 PM
  #13089  
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Can’t decide on a Xmas present for the missus...a Peloton, or a subscription to the jelly of the month club.
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Old 12-07-19, 12:38 PM
  #13090  
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Can't decide on his present to his wife either; is thinking maybe a new chainsaw but fears that may be too romantic and should save that for Valentine Day.
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Old 12-07-19, 12:50 PM
  #13091  
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...wishes he could be so lucky that someone would give him a subscription to the jelly of the month club.
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Old 12-07-19, 03:55 PM
  #13092  
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figures jelly and a chainsaw will set him up for life.... without parole.
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Old 12-07-19, 05:21 PM
  #13093  
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It never worked for Tobe Hooper.
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Old 12-07-19, 09:01 PM
  #13094  
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Is paying me $5 for every "Like" I give him. So far I've made $530 off him.
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Old 12-07-19, 09:26 PM
  #13095  
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...knows how much five dollars is in rubles.
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Old 12-08-19, 04:09 AM
  #13096  
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Does not realize how hard ahsposo is working because it's for some third world currency that takes a million of theirs to make a quarter. CARE sends him their condolences.
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Old 12-08-19, 05:57 AM
  #13097  
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The sheer volume of his lies here will require a 3rd volume.
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Old 12-08-19, 11:23 AM
  #13098  
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dawned on him that silicone implants quickly gave him easy to “read” Portable Volume III and Portable Volume IV.
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Old 12-08-19, 03:04 PM
  #13099  
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You told your surgeon to put them in back by mistake. What a comfy chair!
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Old 12-08-19, 03:55 PM
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Embarrasses Floridaman
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