The older I get the less I care
12-24-18, 01:27 PM
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The older I get the less I care
Pushing 51 and I have noticed that as time passes by the less I care. Is this normal when being 50+? I’m a newbie so any insight will be helpful.
12-24-18, 01:57 PM
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I care less about things I never cared about all that much in the first place. I think as you get older your assessment of what really matters tends to change. Externally imposed 'norms' begin to carry less weight, but those things which have always personally meant a great deal to you remain important.
12-24-18, 02:35 PM
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The less you care about what?
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12-24-18, 03:29 PM
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57 here and, yes, I really don't give a damn about what other people think anymore. I march to the beat of a different drummer. Wish I could have realized earlier on that it is okay to be different instead of trying to always conform to what I thought others expected.
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12-24-18, 04:54 PM
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If you really don't care then you might not even care enough to know what you don't care about.
12-24-18, 07:17 PM
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I care more about the things that matter to me ... and less about the things that don't.
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12-24-18, 07:18 PM
#9
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Hondo, you know how close I came to dying this year in a workplace accident.
Yeah, there were a few things in my life that I didn't care about since my mid to late 30s. But after the incident last March, I care a much more about my health, thinking about the safety level of the things I might be thinking of doing, and above all else, thinking positively about the people who saved my life, and/or expressed their care and attention, and are still active in their efforts..
My wife, Machka, fits most of all in that entirely.
There always will be the selfish, self-centred few who exist and make themselves known to me in a negative way, but they oddly have virtually no influence over what I think about staying alive, or my return to a comparatively normal life.
And take it from me... your and other 50+ forum members' postings in Machka's post on me has (a) generated huge respect for others' expressions about my welfare and health, and (b) been hugely valuable to me in giving me reason for surviving (with cycling as the truly fundamental part of my life after Machka).
Yeah, there were a few things in my life that I didn't care about since my mid to late 30s. But after the incident last March, I care a much more about my health, thinking about the safety level of the things I might be thinking of doing, and above all else, thinking positively about the people who saved my life, and/or expressed their care and attention, and are still active in their efforts..
My wife, Machka, fits most of all in that entirely.
There always will be the selfish, self-centred few who exist and make themselves known to me in a negative way, but they oddly have virtually no influence over what I think about staying alive, or my return to a comparatively normal life.
And take it from me... your and other 50+ forum members' postings in Machka's post on me has (a) generated huge respect for others' expressions about my welfare and health, and (b) been hugely valuable to me in giving me reason for surviving (with cycling as the truly fundamental part of my life after Machka).
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12-24-18, 08:46 PM
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57 here and, yes, I really don't give a damn about what other people think anymore. I march to the beat of a different drummer. Wish I could have realized earlier on that it is okay to be different instead of trying to always conform to what I thought others expected.
Seriously,enjoy your life and do what satisfies your spirit. If you are depressed, been there also, then you need to seek a professional as that is a whole different story and nothing to take lightly.
Be safe, Frank.
12-24-18, 10:10 PM
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If by "don't care" you mean different priorities, that's a normal part of aging.
At 61, having spent much of the past 20 years as a caregiver for three successive older family members until they died, I've watched the effects of aging and, now, am experiencing it firsthand.
I used to joke that old people drove recklessly, carelessly or indifferently because their attitude was "I'm old, dammit, get outta my way. I don't care anymore!" Actually it turned out most of them simply have diminished vision, reflexes, and situational awareness.
But it doesn't affect everyone the same. For example, there's a bit of conventional wisdom tossed around the media and pop culture that claims most people become more "conservative" with age. That hasn't been my experience at all. They do tend to become more intolerant. But that doesn't indicate anything about their views on politics, the economy, religion, etc.
Some of my friends my age and older, including a couple I've known since college, range from extreme right to extreme left. What they share is the same intolerance for opposing views. They aren't interested in conversations or persuasion, only in shoving their opinions at everyone else. On Facebook they just meme at each other, posting a dozen or more times a day, all extremist right or left articles, images, etc.
A few folks are still very tolerant and moderate in views, but they don't express themselves often. In part that's because our acquaintances who hold extreme left or right views tend to regard with mistrust or contempt anyone who has a moderate or balanced perspective. So I tend to avoid conversations or debates with some of my acquaintances because their attitude is usually "My way or the highway. Disagree in the slightest tiny detail and I'll unfriend you."
So in that regard they care. They care about their own perspective and no one else's. They don't care about other people's differing or nuanced perspectives or experiences. They've lost some capacity for empathy. I've watched it happen gradually over the past decade. It's not just due to social media or pop culture or anything else. They've gotten older and, facing imminent mortality, they feel there's no time to waste on anyone or anything who doesn't meet their standards and demands. They care. They just don't care about you.
Retaining a sense of empathy, compassion or a moderate and flexible perspective takes a lot of effort. It's harder to hold onto as we see death around us, experience the effects of aging -- less energy, chronic pain, diminishing physical functions -- and see others committing the same mistakes we made when we were younger.
Caring is a PITA. It means I can't just drag rude and reckless drivers out of their vehicles after they've nearly killed me and beat them like pinatas until the candy spills out. It means we have to show equal regard for deaths of loved ones of friends as we do for births, despite not having the right words to offer in a show of compassion. It's easier to find something to be angry about as a distraction, because it feeds our brain chemical triggers that invigorate us and make us feel alive. We rarely feel more alive than when we're under the sway of righteous indignation.
At 61, having spent much of the past 20 years as a caregiver for three successive older family members until they died, I've watched the effects of aging and, now, am experiencing it firsthand.
I used to joke that old people drove recklessly, carelessly or indifferently because their attitude was "I'm old, dammit, get outta my way. I don't care anymore!" Actually it turned out most of them simply have diminished vision, reflexes, and situational awareness.
But it doesn't affect everyone the same. For example, there's a bit of conventional wisdom tossed around the media and pop culture that claims most people become more "conservative" with age. That hasn't been my experience at all. They do tend to become more intolerant. But that doesn't indicate anything about their views on politics, the economy, religion, etc.
Some of my friends my age and older, including a couple I've known since college, range from extreme right to extreme left. What they share is the same intolerance for opposing views. They aren't interested in conversations or persuasion, only in shoving their opinions at everyone else. On Facebook they just meme at each other, posting a dozen or more times a day, all extremist right or left articles, images, etc.
A few folks are still very tolerant and moderate in views, but they don't express themselves often. In part that's because our acquaintances who hold extreme left or right views tend to regard with mistrust or contempt anyone who has a moderate or balanced perspective. So I tend to avoid conversations or debates with some of my acquaintances because their attitude is usually "My way or the highway. Disagree in the slightest tiny detail and I'll unfriend you."
So in that regard they care. They care about their own perspective and no one else's. They don't care about other people's differing or nuanced perspectives or experiences. They've lost some capacity for empathy. I've watched it happen gradually over the past decade. It's not just due to social media or pop culture or anything else. They've gotten older and, facing imminent mortality, they feel there's no time to waste on anyone or anything who doesn't meet their standards and demands. They care. They just don't care about you.
Retaining a sense of empathy, compassion or a moderate and flexible perspective takes a lot of effort. It's harder to hold onto as we see death around us, experience the effects of aging -- less energy, chronic pain, diminishing physical functions -- and see others committing the same mistakes we made when we were younger.
Caring is a PITA. It means I can't just drag rude and reckless drivers out of their vehicles after they've nearly killed me and beat them like pinatas until the candy spills out. It means we have to show equal regard for deaths of loved ones of friends as we do for births, despite not having the right words to offer in a show of compassion. It's easier to find something to be angry about as a distraction, because it feeds our brain chemical triggers that invigorate us and make us feel alive. We rarely feel more alive than when we're under the sway of righteous indignation.
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12-24-18, 10:39 PM
#13
Senior Member
By the age of 50
most have figured out what’s important
...
the rest of the stuff ...
we don’t waste much time thinking or caring about it
at 60, there’s some adjustments made
Retirement refines it some more
Then
Expect subtle changes to continually occur.
?what was the question?
most have figured out what’s important
...
the rest of the stuff ...
we don’t waste much time thinking or caring about it
at 60, there’s some adjustments made
Retirement refines it some more
Then
Expect subtle changes to continually occur.
?what was the question?
12-24-18, 10:41 PM
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If by "don't care" you mean different priorities, that's a normal part of aging.
At 61, having spent much of the past 20 years as a caregiver for three successive older family members until they died, I've watched the effects of aging and, now, am experiencing it firsthand.
I used to joke that old people drove recklessly, carelessly or indifferently because their attitude was "I'm old, dammit, get outta my way. I don't care anymore!" Actually it turned out most of them simply have diminished vision, reflexes, and situational awareness.
But it doesn't affect everyone the same. For example, there's a bit of conventional wisdom tossed around the media and pop culture that claims most people become more "conservative" with age. That hasn't been my experience at all. They do tend to become more intolerant. But that doesn't indicate anything about their views on politics, the economy, religion, etc.
Some of my friends my age and older, including a couple I've known since college, range from extreme right to extreme left. What they share is the same intolerance for opposing views. They aren't interested in conversations or persuasion, only in shoving their opinions at everyone else. On Facebook they just meme at each other, posting a dozen or more times a day, all extremist right or left articles, images, etc.
A few folks are still very tolerant and moderate in views, but they don't express themselves often. In part that's because our acquaintances who hold extreme left or right views tend to regard with mistrust or contempt anyone who has a moderate or balanced perspective. So I tend to avoid conversations or debates with some of my acquaintances because their attitude is usually "My way or the highway. Disagree in the slightest tiny detail and I'll unfriend you."
So in that regard they care. They care about their own perspective and no one else's. They don't care about other people's differing or nuanced perspectives or experiences. They've lost some capacity for empathy. I've watched it happen gradually over the past decade. It's not just due to social media or pop culture or anything else. They've gotten older and, facing imminent mortality, they feel there's no time to waste on anyone or anything who doesn't meet their standards and demands. They care. They just don't care about you.
Retaining a sense of empathy, compassion or a moderate and flexible perspective takes a lot of effort. It's harder to hold onto as we see death around us, experience the effects of aging -- less energy, chronic pain, diminishing physical functions -- and see others committing the same mistakes we made when we were younger.
Caring is a PITA. It means I can't just drag rude and reckless drivers out of their vehicles after they've nearly killed me and beat them like pinatas until the candy spills out. It means we have to show equal regard for deaths of loved ones of friends as we do for births, despite not having the right words to offer in a show of compassion. It's easier to find something to be angry about as a distraction, because it feeds our brain chemical triggers that invigorate us and make us feel alive. We rarely feel more alive than when we're under the sway of righteous indignation.
At 61, having spent much of the past 20 years as a caregiver for three successive older family members until they died, I've watched the effects of aging and, now, am experiencing it firsthand.
I used to joke that old people drove recklessly, carelessly or indifferently because their attitude was "I'm old, dammit, get outta my way. I don't care anymore!" Actually it turned out most of them simply have diminished vision, reflexes, and situational awareness.
But it doesn't affect everyone the same. For example, there's a bit of conventional wisdom tossed around the media and pop culture that claims most people become more "conservative" with age. That hasn't been my experience at all. They do tend to become more intolerant. But that doesn't indicate anything about their views on politics, the economy, religion, etc.
Some of my friends my age and older, including a couple I've known since college, range from extreme right to extreme left. What they share is the same intolerance for opposing views. They aren't interested in conversations or persuasion, only in shoving their opinions at everyone else. On Facebook they just meme at each other, posting a dozen or more times a day, all extremist right or left articles, images, etc.
A few folks are still very tolerant and moderate in views, but they don't express themselves often. In part that's because our acquaintances who hold extreme left or right views tend to regard with mistrust or contempt anyone who has a moderate or balanced perspective. So I tend to avoid conversations or debates with some of my acquaintances because their attitude is usually "My way or the highway. Disagree in the slightest tiny detail and I'll unfriend you."
So in that regard they care. They care about their own perspective and no one else's. They don't care about other people's differing or nuanced perspectives or experiences. They've lost some capacity for empathy. I've watched it happen gradually over the past decade. It's not just due to social media or pop culture or anything else. They've gotten older and, facing imminent mortality, they feel there's no time to waste on anyone or anything who doesn't meet their standards and demands. They care. They just don't care about you.
Retaining a sense of empathy, compassion or a moderate and flexible perspective takes a lot of effort. It's harder to hold onto as we see death around us, experience the effects of aging -- less energy, chronic pain, diminishing physical functions -- and see others committing the same mistakes we made when we were younger.
Caring is a PITA. It means I can't just drag rude and reckless drivers out of their vehicles after they've nearly killed me and beat them like pinatas until the candy spills out. It means we have to show equal regard for deaths of loved ones of friends as we do for births, despite not having the right words to offer in a show of compassion. It's easier to find something to be angry about as a distraction, because it feeds our brain chemical triggers that invigorate us and make us feel alive. We rarely feel more alive than when we're under the sway of righteous indignation.
12-25-18, 12:05 AM
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Hondo, you know how close I came to dying this year in a workplace accident.
Yeah, there were a few things in my life that I didn't care about since my mid to late 30s. But after the incident last March, I care a much more about my health, thinking about the safety level of the things I might be thinking of doing, and above all else, thinking positively about the people who saved my life, and/or expressed their care and attention, and are still active in their efforts..
My wife, Machka, fits most of all in that entirely.
There always will be the selfish, self-centred few who exist and make themselves known to me in a negative way, but they oddly have virtually no influence over what I think about staying alive, or my return to a comparatively normal life.
And take it from me... your and other 50+ forum members' postings in Machka's post on me has (a) generated huge respect for others' expressions about my welfare and health, and (b) been hugely valuable to me in giving me reason for surviving (with cycling as the truly fundamental part of my life after Machka).
Yeah, there were a few things in my life that I didn't care about since my mid to late 30s. But after the incident last March, I care a much more about my health, thinking about the safety level of the things I might be thinking of doing, and above all else, thinking positively about the people who saved my life, and/or expressed their care and attention, and are still active in their efforts..
My wife, Machka, fits most of all in that entirely.
There always will be the selfish, self-centred few who exist and make themselves known to me in a negative way, but they oddly have virtually no influence over what I think about staying alive, or my return to a comparatively normal life.
And take it from me... your and other 50+ forum members' postings in Machka's post on me has (a) generated huge respect for others' expressions about my welfare and health, and (b) been hugely valuable to me in giving me reason for surviving (with cycling as the truly fundamental part of my life after Machka).
Merry Christmas to the two of you, and have a wonderful 2019.
12-25-18, 12:10 AM
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As I get older (62 now) I am re-arranging my priorities.
Things that were once important, do not matter much.
Things that once seemed unimportant are now taking center stage in my life.
And, I care deeply about these two...they are lying by my feet, keeping me happy as I track Santa’s journey.
Merry Christmas to everyone.
Things that were once important, do not matter much.
Things that once seemed unimportant are now taking center stage in my life.
And, I care deeply about these two...they are lying by my feet, keeping me happy as I track Santa’s journey.
Merry Christmas to everyone.
12-25-18, 07:29 AM
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Way too young to throw in the towel. Stay engaged, ride your bike, and dont just sit around and rust. It is a quick path to the old dirt bed!!!!!!!!!!!
12-25-18, 07:32 AM
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57 here and, yes, I really don't give a damn about what other people think anymore. I march to the beat of a different drummer. Wish I could have realized earlier on that it is okay to be different instead of trying to always conform to what I thought others expected.
12-25-18, 07:42 AM
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As I stated I am 80, and I am blessed with great health, and can easily pass for 65. I have been retired a little over 10 years now. My life now revolves around family, friends and cycling. My wife and I for instance have breakfast and coffee 5 days a week in the mornings with a dozen or so friends., and every other day I average about 30 miles on the trike. I had a high stress job working on office machines and computers. I was on call 24/7/365. I had to jump into action in less than one hour. All of that is behind me now, and I pretty much do what I want when I want. Life is good, and cycling makes it better!!!!!
12-25-18, 08:41 AM
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Priorities is about your final destiny (end goal in life) as Ralph Waldo Emerson once wrote:
"Sow a thought and you reap an action; sow an act and you reap a habit; sow a habit and you reap a character; sow a character and you reap a destiny."
So yes, you "should" care.
"Sow a thought and you reap an action; sow an act and you reap a habit; sow a habit and you reap a character; sow a character and you reap a destiny."
So yes, you "should" care.
12-25-18, 09:20 AM
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12-25-18, 09:20 AM
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Ride YOUR ride, but be courteous to others on the road.
12-25-18, 10:00 AM
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I guess you’re right. Because I don’t care that you don’t care. But then you don’t care....
so why did you post in the first place?
so why did you post in the first place?
12-25-18, 12:09 PM
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The less you care about some stuff, the more you care about those neighbor kids who won't stay off your lawn..
