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Post a Lie about the poster above - Volume 2

Old 10-09-19, 07:03 AM
  #12926  
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Is vainly attempting to put a little spork back in his life. At Sporkaholics Anonymous he bemoans the lack of a spork, any little spork. His S.O. agrees that any little spork would do but “...he done bent all his tines”.
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Old 10-09-19, 08:17 AM
  #12927  
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Had trouble grasping using other tableware when younger until his parents showed him the spork. He took to it instantly and hasn't looked back yet.
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Old 10-09-19, 11:53 AM
  #12928  
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...he never looks back, for fear that there's a leather face masked spork killer following close behind him.
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Old 10-09-19, 12:26 PM
  #12929  
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His all-time favorite scary movie is the classic Night of the Living Spork...
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Old 10-09-19, 05:09 PM
  #12930  
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...had a small part in the Star Trek movie, The Search for Spork. This came at the end of a very disappointing, brief career in Hollywood, punctuated by encounters with dishonest agents and sexually predatory movie producers.
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Old 10-09-19, 08:04 PM
  #12931  
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Wears a custom gold coke spork around his neck when trolling for sexually predatory movie producers.
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Old 10-10-19, 01:20 PM
  #12932  
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Refuses to go to the Orient because they don't have sporks over there.
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Old 10-10-19, 01:34 PM
  #12933  
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A modern Alchemist, he is attempting and claiming great success, to turn fast food into turds with what he calls the Philosopher's Spork.

However, no one wants to independently or otherwise verify his claims.
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Old 10-10-19, 09:45 PM
  #12934  
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...don't let his soft sporken exterior deceive you. The man within possesses an iron will and a steel trap of a mind.
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Old 10-11-19, 03:30 AM
  #12935  
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Enhances his penetrating analysis focus with Spork Dowser, available for $19.99 with the pdf download Getting Less With More, a 500 page guide book on finding the ancient Sporks among us.
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Old 10-11-19, 05:03 AM
  #12936  
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A brave man of questionable judgement, he's going hunting wild boar in Texas armed only with a plastic spork.

"Yeah, my hunt's gonna be filmed for that TV show American Sporksman!" he told Terry Sassoff, a random stranger waiting with him at the bus stop.
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Old 10-11-19, 01:08 PM
  #12937  
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Thinks people pulling sporks out of rocks is a great way to determine who governs.
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Old 10-11-19, 04:30 PM
  #12938  
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...his reinterpretation of the Lady of the Lake, as a woman holing up a spork from the depths, has inspired an entire new genre of Spork and Sorcery fan fiction.
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Old 10-11-19, 05:43 PM
  #12939  
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Patented the first eSpork, perpetually powered by static electricity. Which explains his numerous tongue burns.
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Old 10-11-19, 07:20 PM
  #12940  
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Has a state issued licence for concealed carry of his spork.
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Old 10-11-19, 07:25 PM
  #12941  
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Well known to speak with sporked tongue.
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Old 10-12-19, 05:27 AM
  #12942  
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His SPORK is a Merciful SPORK.
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Old 10-12-19, 05:48 AM
  #12943  
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Sent away for a deluxe $250 titanium spork. Received an aluminum knock-off from China six weeks later.

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Old 10-12-19, 06:09 AM
  #12944  
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Is the biggest youtube spork influencer.

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Old 10-12-19, 11:12 AM
  #12945  
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...can't help but envy a person who is so influential that he is able to get sporks for review from various manufacturers, simply by buying them at Walmart. The possibilities for for expanding his collection of bug out bags, which he keeps in every nook and cranny of his house, (and two in every car,) are dizzying.
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Old 10-12-19, 11:59 AM
  #12946  
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His parents were so glad when he quit eating with his fingers that they got him his own special spork. He still eats with it today.
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Old 10-12-19, 12:55 PM
  #12947  
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Among all known animals his species is unique in that they have evolved a special pouch on their bellies in which they carry their own spork.
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