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Post a Lie about the poster above - Volume 2

Old 12-13-20, 02:42 PM
  #15026  
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His thought bubbles are full of helium.
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Old 12-13-20, 02:51 PM
  #15027  
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Has perfected the practice of drawing a vacuum on his thought bubbles. (Actually, it came naturally for him.)
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Originally Posted by bragi "However, it's never a good idea to overgeneralize."
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Old 12-13-20, 03:42 PM
  #15028  
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Makes his thought bubbles in a tub bath.
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Old 12-13-20, 04:10 PM
  #15029  
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...was ejected from the last Fraternal Order of the Eagles Lodge meeting, because he kept shouting incessantly, "Not Eagers ! EAGERS !!"
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Old 12-13-20, 04:24 PM
  #15030  
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Saw Ahsposo and his sister/cousin/aunt/wife Sack of Sickles at the Dells Karaoke bar trying out his new routine on the folks in the next county last night, and predicts a disc inferno tonight for the once a month retro karaoke night at Baraboo. Rumor has the rest of the freak show is going to be in the audience.
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Old 12-13-20, 05:52 PM
  #15031  
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Gets his healthy orange glow from circus peanuts.
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Old 12-13-20, 05:59 PM
  #15032  
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....only recently learned the difference between methane and helium.
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Old 12-13-20, 07:17 PM
  #15033  
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He says the noble gases are his favorite because he thinks he's royalty, but everybody knows it's because he's inert.
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Old 12-13-20, 08:58 PM
  #15034  
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His Gong Show Fire Farter routine has been rough on his van, down by the river, cardboard stage addition.
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Old 12-13-20, 09:37 PM
  #15035  
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Try as he might, he's never been able to light a fart; he just keeps burning his rectum.

That's how he got his cell-block nickname, Extra Krispy.
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Old 12-14-20, 01:34 AM
  #15036  
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Has never been able to fart and lives in fear what it will be like when the time comes
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Old 12-14-20, 01:58 AM
  #15037  
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...much prefers Original Recipe.
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Old 12-14-20, 04:24 AM
  #15038  
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Says furries don't fart.
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Old 12-14-20, 06:17 AM
  #15039  
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Is the Grand Exalted Leaping Lizard of the Poo Puff Plan, a secretive group of opossums that believe in Marsupial Mastery and will use any means at their disposal to conquer the swamp.
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Old 12-14-20, 07:59 AM
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Originally Posted by no motor? View Post
Says furries don't fart.
His biggest worry in life is being caught as a closet pants dresser.
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Old 12-14-20, 11:54 AM
  #15041  
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Gave up his college job of pressing pants for the local cleaners, saying he just couldn't be near pants anymore after he stopped wearing them.
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Old 12-14-20, 04:47 PM
  #15042  
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Apparently is trying to reform; asked if he could use a couple of my spare lies instead of stealing them as usual.
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Old 12-14-20, 05:15 PM
  #15043  
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...as a long time manager of a backyard lies orchard, he knows that organic lies are the most healthful.
And he knows exactly what Mark Twain was talking about when he said, "Stolen lies taste the sweetest."
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Old 12-14-20, 05:20 PM
  #15044  
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Generates copious amounts of organic fertilizer for his organic lies orchards.
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Old 12-14-20, 06:59 PM
  #15045  
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...as a child, he was severely disciplined for potty mouth. So even as an adult, the traumatic aftermath has him using euphemisms like "generates" for "****s", and "doing the nasty" instead of "******g".
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Old 12-15-20, 03:20 PM
  #15046  
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Did a pilgrimage from the Surrealistic My Pillow store at one end of the Golden Road to Unlimited Devotion to the Just Pants at the other without finding more raw material for his lie business.
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Old 12-15-20, 05:19 PM
  #15047  
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In his letter to Santa this year he says all he really wants is World Peace and a very thorough body cavity search "maybe by that really cute elf, Cindy".
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Old 12-15-20, 06:17 PM
  #15048  
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....leaves extra cookies under the tree for Santa, along with a note that they are for Cindy, with a map to his van location, down by the river, if she wants more.
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Old 12-15-20, 06:19 PM
  #15049  
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...as a child, he was severely disciplined for potty mouth. So even as an adult, the traumatic aftermath has him using euphemisms like "wants more" for "molesting an elf".
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Old 12-15-20, 10:23 PM
  #15050  
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Last year, his grandchildren gave him a Daisy Red Ryder carbine for Christmas, this year, they decided on a set of color coordinating eye patches instead.
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