Digital Gee

First of all, there's been a terrible miscarraige of justice -- or at a minimum, another shining example of the liberal media getting the story wrong. To whit:

"Associated Press 5/30/2007 - In news that shocked the cycling world, Digital (The San Diego Kid) Gee admitted to doping during the 2007 Tour de Lake Murray. Gee stated he ingested large quanities of Flinstones just prior to the Endurance Leg, and in fact may have taken as many as 50 Wilmas before the last lap. Further, he has also admitted to being the Fintstones suppier to Armstrong, Landis, Basso, and several other TDF riders. An independant AP investigation also uncovered ties to baseball slugger Barry Bonds. Gees agent, The Weak Link was unavailable for comment. The Link himself has long been suspected of pushing Carters Little Pills on unaware cyclists. Jet Travis, Gees coach, speaking from his Virginia home said "I just don't get the Wilma thing, Gee was always more of a Betty man. Sportwriter Tom Bombadil writing for Cycling World was quoted as saying "I knew something was amiss when he maintained that 12 mph pace so effortlessly. Gee has agreed to check into rehab along with close friend and sometimes companion Lindsey Lohan."

Did the reporter even BOTHER to interview me? No. I have always made myself available to the press, but somehow, when the doping allegations came out, no one wanted to hear MY side of the story.

Let's set the record straight. I do NOT take Wilmas. Now it's true that Jet Travis may have given me a few mango smoothies from time to time, and I cannot swear to knowing everything he put in them, but to the best of my knowledge, I have never knowingly taken a Wilma.

As for The Weak Link, he's already been fired for inappropriate phone calls. Too many calls to 1-900-IAM PSYCHO1 and those aren't cheap.

Now, as to the whole rehab thing. I'm only checking in because my g/f Lindsey thought it would be a great place to get away from all the media. So here we are. Once again, I do NOT do Wilmas, never have, and never will. By the way, I need a new helmet -- this one doesn't fit anymore. Any suggestions?

So here's my question: should Lindsey and I get a tandem or two beach cruisers to use in rehab?

LynnH

Definitely a tandem, I may possibly believe your denial, but not your gf's. You'll have lots of pedaling to do!

Tom Bombadil

No, no I didn't want to hear your side of the story.

Just more doper lies.

George

Everybody knows Starbucks is doping. I say the miles don't count and they should be done again, with NO DOPING.

JanMM

Better retain legal counsel; The Fifty Plus Anti-Doping Agency will be contacting you soon. And, you will be getting a call from Lemond encouraging you to 'fess up.

stapfam

Definitly go Tandem- You've tried everything else and you are now addicted. One ride on a Tandem will cure you forever. Even better- Get a recumbent Tandem with a Brooks saddle.

MichiganMike

Yeah, and I noticed in a few of the later pictures it seems like you are developing some acne or something. Might want to have that checked out.

I say one tandem. Then you can take turns taking care of making phone calls, etc., while the other one pedals.

Tom Bombadil

Whichever bike you choose, you'd better double check her "water" bottle before riding.

xlrogue

At least now we know who told Lindsey to go commando. Too bad she missed the "under your bike shorts" part.

wrafl

I would say a tandem. If Lindsey refuse to ride with you, you can always ask another lady to take Lindsey's place.

tlc20010

Another of those non-denial denials. Notice that DG didn't mention not taking Bettys......sources say that Bettys contain many of the same doping ingredients as Wilmas. Now he will come out and say something like "I'm not gong to continue to respond to these spurious accusations....." You have to watch these big...er, big-time athlete types when they talk to the media...that's why reporters don't bother to call them.

Digital Gee

See, THIS is why I don't respond to spurious accusations. You people just WON'T get off my back.

I'm going to go comfort Lindsey now.

Tom Bombadil

Just off the wire ...

There is a report from an on-line source that a video recording, made with a cell phone, seems to show that there was a second rider involved. This recording is said to show the mysterious second rider dismounting Rooooooobbbaaaaaaaaaaayyyy about a half-mile from the official race lap point. The rider then got into a car and drove in the opposite direction around the lake to a pre-specificed point where another exchange took place..

The low-light and low resolution of the cell phone video prevents us from making positive identification. However a lip-reader says that it appears that as DG took the bike from him, he was saying "Thanks Paul-he."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GNdzVDJjPfE

HopedaleHills

Associated Press, May 31, 2007 - In late breaking news from San Diego sportwriter Tom Bombadil has delivered a photo to People Magazine showing that Lohan was indeed present at the Tour de Lake Murray. The photo, taken by a paparazzi hiding near Gee's training area was purchased by Bombadil for an undisclosed sum.

Dchiefransom

Soooooooooooooooo, you deny doing Wilma, but admit to doing Lindsey?

Blackberry

I know Jet Travis. He's knee-deep in cycling's dark side. He over-inflates his tires, wears cycling sandals and consumes untold amounts of illicit soy products. I told Mr. Gee, "Don't touch that guy with a stick. He's poison." If only Digital Gee had listened. Instead, he's thrown it all away.

Tom Bombadil

The infamous Blackbeard, er, ah, ... Blackberry returns!!!

Hide your daughters!!!