BadBurrito

In my case, at best she tolerates it, but most of the time she sabotages my efforts. She loves making massive calorie rich meals or going out to eat, or fast food. I'm not sure she consciously doesn't support it but well it seems that way.

I keep telling myself I'm the one that controls what and how much I eat, but she sure doesn't help. And at this time of year, everywhere in the house is some sort of over the top holiday treat.

This week I'm feeling defeated.

dr_lha

Does she have weight issues herself?

ptempel

Keep your chin up! Maybe suggest different food for dinner or places to go out than the usual ones? Your area may be different, but we have some nice choices in the Montclair, NJ area. One is the Manhattan Cafe which has a nice Thai wrap, for example. Also, one of my favorite veggie burgers is the Avocado Ranch Black Bean at Smashburger. A huge thing for me is doing cycle commuting to work. This essentially is cardio for 35-40 minutes twice a day on weekdays. Then I leave the weekend free usually for family (have a 3yr old son) and other stuff.

BadBurrito

yep, always talks about the need to lose weight, that is as far as it goes.

Wanderer

I know the feeling...................... too well!

ptempel

Sounds like my wife. I just let myself be the shining example of what cycling can do when you stick to a regular routine. She has a nice Gary Fisher Tassajara MTB in the basement that's still new looking and has soft tires. You can guess how much she uses that. Well, our son is getting older and might be riding a tricycle next season. So that may be some incentive for her to got on the bike once in a while.

Wilfred Laurier

My doc recently put me on an injectable diabetes drug - Victoza - that promotes lower blood sugar, but has the side effect of reducing appetite. That combined with quitting beer drinking (doc was concerned about my liver) and my weight has dropped 15 lbs in the past two months. My wife has been saying how great I look and lots of kudos, but still buys me a family size bag of chips a few times per week, and has been insinuating that I am to resume drinking over Christmas with her family. So she isn't discouraging about weight loss, but she isn't very helpful.

bassjones

Mine does, particularly as she is doing the same.

travbikeman

I've been fortunate with my Wife. She is very supportive and actually gets somewhat upset with me if I don't go riding enough for exercise. When I started making changes to my diet, it had to be a change for the whole family. It's helped not just me, but her and my kids. My lifestyle change was made possible by changing all of us. We all now eat more vegetables and even though it's tough at times, we eat more moderately. So both my Wife and I have lost a nice amount of weight.

1242Vintage

My wife is a huge supporter of my drive to lose weight and improve my health. Wouldn't have made it this far without her. There's always fresh fruit and veg in the house and when we go out to eat it is always someplace with healthy options. A few years ago as the weight came off I started racing again and never ever has she said one word about the expense and time devoted to racing. She knows that is something that I need to burn stress and improve my health.

We are a good team, supporting each other for many years.

Tundra_Man 

Thankfully my wife is very supportive of my weight loss efforts. Over the last few years she's seen some friends/family have their husbands pass away and the resulting devastation the loss creates. I think the thought of being left a widow is pretty frightening to her, so as a result she's 100% behind any efforts I make to improve my health.

DMC707

Thats me every other week of the year

My wife is trim but she refuses to exercise -- she has no concept of getting herself "swimsuit ready" by doing some strength training -- she just feels that if she looks good in her clothes and people complement her, then that is good enough

She doesnt have a plan or a clue and hasnt turned a knob on a stove in months --- she loves to eat out , always proclaiming she is too tired after a hard day's work to prepare a meal (sheesh - welcome to the frickin club) -- On the flip side, when we eat out she generally likes going mediterranean or something similar and eschews fried foods and most starchy foods --- but its getting damned expensive to boot --- 30-40$ a day on food when we could spend $15 or so on home cooked meals? --i'm tired of it

-- I cook as well, and i try to stay true to myself , but after years of this - its getting hard to take care of everything
Geez- i have a good friend whose wife also works -- she also finds the time to raise kids , occasionally pick up the house a little, cook a meal or two , and is training for a half marathon

Mine comes home and flops on the couch and complains about her long day --- just last night i asked her if she had anything plans or suggestions for dinner and she started yelling at me -- so we went out yet again -- another 30 bucks


She works at a CV Pharmacy and is frequently bringing home crap they have on sale -- bags of peanut butter cups, etc. -- she showed me some Reeses holiday stuff yesterday and said "Your not going to eat all these if i leave 'em in the cabinet are you?"
--I told her to hide the damn things - leave me 1 out, as they are delicious, but im an OCD dude -- i do not need ugly bags of candy (but tasty) in the house

As i said, - she is in excellent health on paper, but is lazy about exercise - brings crap home i dont need, and does not contribute one ounce of effort to the proper nutrition of the household , except for the dogs , they eat the finest grain free and freeze dried raw food there is

We are outfitting a new house right now to move in after the first of the year and i decided to go higher end on the appliances -- i was showing her a few ranges i had in mind and she said "But i dont have any experience cooking on a gas range -- are you sure thats a good idea?"
--- i shook my head thinking to myself -- "You dont have any flippin' experience with any cooking appliance, so shut up!!! "



Damn i need some relationship counseling

bassjones

^sounds like a little marriage therapy is in order...

DMC707

yeah - me thinks i went a little TMI there -- oh well , whats done is done -- writing is therapeutic

dagray

Some days my wife is supportive, and other days she gets jealous of the time I spend on the bike. But she has supported my eating habits and doesn't bring me specifically treats (like a bag of chips), but sometimes things find their way into the house as I have two boys (5 and 15 years old).

I just tell my wife that she can be happy with the money and time spent on cycling as it equates to my having a longer life to spend time with her and the boys.

RomansFiveEight

My spouse does, which is really helpful. But other family members don't, especially around the holidays. Same with friends. Some even get offended if they want to go eat at some junk restaurant and I choose to just get something to drink and eat at home later. Similar with family who get upset when I don't gorge myself at holiday meals. After losing 122 lbs "the old fashioned way" (diet and excercise), I can no longer physically EAT as much as they can. And some of the foods my stomach can no longer handle. Eating much less sugar, carbs, and no fried food for the last year and a half really makes a huge difference. So much so that if I were to eat some of that stuff, it makes me physically sick. Some family went out for Pizza recently and EVERYONE was trying to get me to eat, demanding I eat, saying "It won't hurt you". What they don't realize is that greasy fast food pizza (Granted, good pizza from a great pizza shop is something I occasionally enjoy and can eat!) will uh... "come out quickly". No thanks. Just can't do it.

So yeah, I feel your pain; though I'm thankful my wife is supportive. We only buy and eat healthy food at home. We do go out to eat, we do splurge once in a while, we do get ice cream now and then and so forth; but never ever at home. That's a big help for me.

RomansFiveEight

+1. The numbers are out there, just how much money being fit SAVES you in doctor bills down the road.

Forget the lifespan, it's all about what those last few years look like. I spend a lot of time in and out of hospitals and nursing homes and I have spent plenty of time with obese people who spent their last 5, 10, or even 20 years with fistsfuls of pills each day, out of breath, in pain, and in the worst cases, sometimes drowning in their own bodily fluids in a several-week long death the result of a body that finally couldn't take it anymore. In fact, that was my largest motivation to lose weight. It's not just that I want to live longer; I want my last years to be worth living. I'm 25; and forever grateful that my experiences have gotten me on-track early, rather than later.

DMC707

Thats the worst -- the "just have one slice of this or that - it wont hurt you" crowd

My wife's family wonders why i never go to their Thanksgiving or Christmas meals -- (i will occasionally show up for after dinner apertif's - as i am addicted to beer) --- but people assume that since i carry around too much weight that i would love to try their mystery chow -- i finally just told people i only eat single ingredient foods and if i cant identify all the ingredients in something by looking at it , i dont eat it ----- screw 'em, i've got my rather cumbersome cross to bear

I have a job where i am on the road a lot, and i broke down and stopped at an Arby's thinking - "well, OK - just a plain roast beef sandwich, no extras - whats the harm in that" -- well, Arbys roast beef is not like the roast beef i pay too much for at the Whole Foods deli
-- 20 minutes down the road and the combination of the meat which evdently is marinated in a brine mixture, and the spongy white bread had had enough and i pulled over to say bye bye to the seemingly innocuous sandwich ---- but i also dont understand why that can give me a reaction like that but i can eat limited amounts of beef jerky (also salty) and be fine

dagray

For me it isn't even about medical bills as our family is double insured (I pay for the federal blue cross as I work for the VA, and my wife gets Regence Blue Cross from her work), and I am one who takes a handful of pills due to not being active for 15 years (oh I got some exercise at work, but would come home and sit on my arse eating comfort foods).

At 45 years of age with type 2 diabetes (diagnosed August 2012), and high blood pressure (oh it has gone way down with exercise) I exercise to be able to get off of medications.

So far from March 2014 I have lost and kept off 40 pounds ( now 360 pounds from the 406 pounds I was), cut my insulin dose in half, taken myself off of Simvastatin (for cholesterol), cut my Metformin down from 2000mg per day to 1500mg per day.

I am trying to lose weight, get off of the insulin completely as insulin is a weight loss inhibitor (I was at 78 units per day and am now down to 40 units per day), and I am trying to get off the Metformin as it causes leg cramps galore (yes I get on that bike with the cramps, and riding actually can help me stretch the muscles and tendons to lessen the cramping).

after 1.5-2 hours in the car driving home getting the motivation to ride during the week (which I need to do) is difficult to find, but I make up for it on the weekends. I watch my diet, allow myself some treats, but keep it reasonable, and try to get two or three hours on the bike on a weekend.

I love my smart trainer as it allows me to set a time to quit the ride so that I don't miss other of my obligations (kids' Christmas concerts, church, other obligations).

When I started riding I could barely do 1.5 miles round trip and had to get out of my head as I expected to be able to ride like I did in high school; fast forward to May 2015 and I was able to ride the 25 mile route of the Spokane, WA Tour de Cure and still have energy, and now it isn't uncommon for me to do 40 miles on the trainer/simulator as I am gearing up to ride the 50 mile route this May in the Tour de Cure.

I work at the VA and I see people come in wearing shorts and when you see their legs you know they have diabetes and are morbidly obese.

It takes determination to not become a statistic.

Happy Pedaling

Almost 1000 miles this year for me (just shy about 45 miles which I will get this weekend).

RomansFiveEight

SOMEONE is paying those bills though. Not to be on a 'soap box' but if more of us were healthier, our health insurance costs would be lower. Being obese is a burden on society. Among my motivations is a resolve to leave the world better than when I found it, to do everything in my power to not need to be cared for by others and to not be another 'statistic' that's causing rising healthcare costs and other related costs in our country.

RomansFiveEight

Seems a little random for me too.

Actually, it's amazing how much fast food you CAN eat and still be healthy. It's not the burger, it's the burger with three patties, cheese, and three kinds of sauce that's the problem. A McDonalds hamburger and small french fries; while not really nutritious; falls well within the calorie goal of one meal for most folks. I'm on the road a lot too and have learned where the good places to eat are and what I can order.

I really can't tolerate grease anymore. Grease, or a lot of sugar (whether it's a soda or whatever). When I lost 100lbs even, I decided to celebrate. One of the things that was important for me was no cheatin. Period. In fact, I don't call it cheating; I call it what it is: overeating. And I resolved I was NOT going to overeat no matter what. When I hit 100lbs lost, I decided I was going to have two things I had not had since I began losing weight. A soda, and some real ice cream (I do occasionally eat a small serving of vanilla soft serve or plain frozen yogurt, which isn't more than 150-200 calories). I was SICK. My stomach was in knots. Could not handle all that sugar. Plus, I really didn't like the taste of (or finish) either. I can't handle 'sweet'.

But it does seem random. Some things I can handle, some things I just can not. And I sure as heck don't mind. The fact that sugary drinks, fried foods, and gobs of cheese are no longer appetizing to me is a-ok with me. I don't think I ever would've started smoking, honestly. BUT, when I was a kid, my grandpa took me to this sandwhich joint where you sit at a counter and eat a sandwhich, had been around for a century, and it had a big rack of cigars and cigarettes behind the counter. Old farts smoked and ate sandwhiches. The mix of cigarette smoke, probably some bad meat, and who knows what else, made me sicker than I think I've ever been. Exploding out both ends and with this awful, awful feeling in my stomach. I'll never forget that. And to this day, even looking at a package of cigarettes behind the counter in a gas station reminds me of that awful awful feeling of being sick as a kid. So while I'd never start smoking because of the obvious science, I don't think I could even if I wanted to because of that 'psychological link'. And if those same sort of 'links' happen with unhealthy food? Fine by me

baldilocks

The things I would wan't to try would be extreme for my family so I just try to eat heavy on the fruits and veggies. If I were single I would try to live on beans, brown rice and fruits and veggies. Try to cook for them and love them anyhow.

largefarva

My wife has been nothing but extremely supportive of my weight loss journey so far. She doesn't need to lose weight herself, but she hops on the bike with me every night while I ride. She usually rides for around 50-55 minutes while I've been averaging around 2 hours 15 minutes lately. She thinks it's great that I've found cycling and she supports me in it completely. She's the one who is more of a penny pincher and is usually discouraging me from spending money on most things, but cycling gear and bikes she's basically let go of the reigns. I don't know how much we've spent this year on bikes and gear, but I do know it's a LOT.

bakes1

Is this thread about adults looking to place blame and not take responsibility for their own actions?

RomansFiveEight

It's not just that easy. When you have to eat separate meals than your family, when there's constantly unhealthy, easily accessible food around you. And sometimes, even worse, they try to guilt or shame you into eating what they eat. I'm not sure if it's a bit of self-embarassment because they KNOW that what they are eating is unhealthy and the fact that you won't eat it makes them feel bad, but these are real things.

I experience it with extended family, and it's tough. Dealing with it with a spouse or kids would be equally tough.

Don't marginalize what's easy for you with what's very challenging for someone else. For many of us, food is a genuine addiction that has to be overcome. But you still have to eat! Imagine being an alcoholic whose spouse drinks every night and opens a beer and hands it to you every day when you get home from work. Or a former smoker whose whole family smokes whose family hands you cigarettes and tells you constantly to smoke with them because today is 'special' (and suddenly every day is special). It's a real challenge. It's a challenge that's possible to overcome and most do, but it's absolutely fair to ask for moral support in a thread like this for overcoming something that's tough for some people.