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Post a Lie about the poster above - Volume 2

Old 10-21-19, 03:17 PM
  #12976  
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Ever the practical joker, he went too far last weekend when he set his wife up with his special "dribble spork" when he took her out to the KFC on Saturday night.
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Old 10-21-19, 04:11 PM
  #12977  
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Has a special spork for goatheads.
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Old 10-21-19, 07:03 PM
  #12978  
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To look at him you would think he's just an ordinary 9 to 5 wage slave but he's actually the leader and chief villain of the international crime syndicate that is only known as SPORK.
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Old 10-21-19, 09:11 PM
  #12979  
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Like’s to think he’s The Man From S.P.O.R.K.
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Old 10-22-19, 02:45 AM
  #12980  
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Was always admonished by his parents and clergy that there was a special spork in hell for him. Couldn't help but wonder what it looked like.
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Old 10-22-19, 08:25 AM
  #12981  
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His new avatar...
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Old 10-22-19, 09:02 AM
  #12982  
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...he recently invented the spife, by sharpening the handle of an ordinary spoon to a fine edge. His Kickstarter page is doing very well, and he expects to start the first commercial production run in about a month, just in time for Christmas.
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Old 10-22-19, 11:25 AM
  #12983  
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The mere sight of a spork induces a Zen like trance in him as he ponders how it is neither fork nor spoon, yet is both at the same time.
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Old 10-22-19, 04:48 PM
  #12984  
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...in a brazen business move, he has completely circumvented the intellectual property rights of @skijor and his spife, contracting with a Chinese knock off manufacturer to produce a huge run of knoons. They will be arriving in a shipping container at the Port of Oakland next week, and he intends to dominate the holiday marketplace this year. Next year, it's the still secret knork that will be sold to his mailing list of repeat customers.
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Old 10-22-19, 05:01 PM
  #12985  
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Peas never had a chance because his spork was set to Search and Destroy.
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Old 10-22-19, 09:28 PM
  #12986  
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Bought at a Megaspork show.
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Old 10-23-19, 03:56 AM
  #12987  
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An amateur paleontologist, he recently unearthed the fossil of the ancient Megaspork.
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Old 10-23-19, 08:35 AM
  #12988  
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Ashposo shops smart. He shops Spork-Mart.
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Old 10-23-19, 08:40 AM
  #12989  
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...he is no longer invited to any formal dinners in the Hamptons after the embarrassing incident where he confused his dinner spork with his salad spork.
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Old 10-23-19, 10:12 PM
  #12990  
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After an exhausting afternoon attempting to pull start his snowblower he stomped into the kitchen then sighed, “I can’t find a spork”,
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Old 10-24-19, 05:05 AM
  #12991  
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His cholesterol reduction was a success because you can't cut the cheese with a spork.
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Old 10-24-19, 01:29 PM
  #12992  
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He is morbidly ectomorphic.
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Old 10-24-19, 02:40 PM
  #12993  
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Flunked his Biology class when he vomited while dissecting the spork.
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Old 10-24-19, 03:10 PM
  #12994  
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Is busy preparing for the holidays by ordering some XXXL sweats (his new eating pants) as well as several XL sporks to facilitate eating faster than the rest of the crew down at the mission during the holidays.
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Old 10-24-19, 05:58 PM
  #12995  
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Well known around the watermelon plant as a canny spork lift driver who can skewer and disembowel a gourd at the flick of a wrist.
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Old 10-24-19, 06:15 PM
  #12996  
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Was certain 'ectomorphic' meant that your Hi-C Ecto Cooler changed colors.
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Old 10-25-19, 08:11 PM
  #12997  
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...currently running an experiment in his state of the art psychology lab teaching rats to eat with sporks.
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Old 10-25-19, 10:05 PM
  #12998  
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Uses 4 quarters to play an 8-bit game.
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Old 10-26-19, 12:18 AM
  #12999  
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base 4 math is all he understands because his spork had 4 tines.
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Old 10-26-19, 05:09 AM
  #13000  
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Plans on handing out sporks as Halloween treats this year.
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